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Chapter 20

There was someone in the room with her. She could tell by the light snore coming from her right. Lucky had never snored in all the time he slept on the floor in her room. Except when he had that cold and even then he never sounded like this. It actually reminded her of the December Jason stayed at her studio and how she'd grown accustomed, and even comforted by his soft snore as he recuperated on the couch.

She let out a soft groan of frustration. She hated these moments. Coming out of her drugged state, when the past seemed so real it was there in the room with her, until slowly it faded away like mist in the morning. Lucky and Jason, they were in the past. She struggled to remember where she was, and she knew when she did she'd be able to figure who was in the room. But first she had to break through the surface and be able to control her body.

Finally, her arm decided to be a part of her and she was able to raise it to her throbbing head. She instantly regretted the movement when it sent shockwaves of pain and nausea through her and she moaned. She hated drugs.

"Elizabeth?"

Managing to open her eyes briefly, she saw Jason sitting in a chair beside her bed. Opening her eyes again, a bit longer this time, she noticed a blanket was halfway off his lap and his shirt wrinkled. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion even as her eyes drifted closed. "Jason? What...wait...man I feel so confused."

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth," he said. Lazily her eyes fluttered opened and she saw him lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Are we in Costa Rica or Mexico?"

"Costa Rica."

"Okay," she said, blinking slowly. "It's coming back to me."

It was like that morning in Mexico, but that had been over a month ago. No, she'd been...on the phone with Emily. And her friend told her Jason wasn't... "You broke up with Courtney."

His eyes widened slightly and he swallowed. "Yes."

"Before...before-"

"Before you were arrested," he nodded, his voice raspy.

Emily was right. About that at least, she amended. Closing her eyes she rubbed her head. Why did that matter? And why would hearing that make her need to be drugged? It didn't add up. She was saved from having to deal with Jason further by a soft knock that sounded on the door.

"Elizabeth? I thought I heard voices," Dr. Torres smiled warmly. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit confused. I...I was talking to Emily." And then what? She remembered being told about Courtney, wondering why Jason would be here...pity and then... "Then I heard Ric's voice."

"What was he saying?" her doctor asked as she took a seat on the foot of the bed.

"I was c-crazy." Her voice trembled and her vision misted. "I am, aren't I?"

"No," the woman smiled at her as she shook her head. "You've suffered a trauma, Elizabeth, and it takes a little time to sort through it all. Do you remember anything else?"

Her eyes crinkled as she thought. "The park. I-I was walking in the park and...and I heard Ric's voice. So I thought I'd go see him. Then I...I heard Carly, and she sounded upset."

She took a deep breath, trying to stop the panic she felt rising up. "It's alright, Elizabeth," Dr. Torres said. "You're okay. Take another deep breath and just let it come, don't force it."

"Carly was arguing with Ric about the night The Cellar opened. He...he took advantage of her. He-he raped her. I-I turned and ran. I-I...I had to get out of there. I ha-had to call Jason."

"But you didn't call him, did you?"

"No," she shook her head, her eyes closed tight against the onslaught of memories. "Ric came over, acting like nothing was wrong. I-I told him to leave. I wouldn't let him in. I said he made me sick and I didn't want to see him anymore. He pushed his way in and demanded to know what was going on."

She heard Jason shift in his chair, but she focused on the gentle hand Dr. Torres placed on her ankle. "It's alright, Elizabeth. You're safe here. Relax and focus on me."

Matching her breathing to the doctor's, Elizabeth felt herself pulling back, able to talk without having to relive the full moment. "I told him I heard him in the park with Carly. He didn't know why I was so mad, he didn't know about my past. He just wanted to make sure I didn't tell Sonny or Jason. He said they wouldn't believe me, they'd think I was crazy. That I was just trying to get back in their good graces. I...maybe Sonny would have thought that, but I hoped if I could tell Jason he would believe me."

"I would have," he spoke, softly so not to jar her.

"Would you really have?" she asked, turning and speaking to him directly for the first time since Yvette entered the room. She couldn't explain it, but she really needed to believe that he wouldn't have thought she was lying.

"Of course I would have," he told her. "I-I remember when you told me about your rape. You don't like Carly, but you would never make up something like that about her. You believed her side and your first thought was to tell us. Of course I would believe you."

Her eyes burned with tears at Jason's words. "Her-her face...I just knew. And he was trying to blame her, saying she was all over him and wouldn't take no for an answer."

"She was drugged," Jason said. "She can't remember what happened that night."

"He drugged her?" she asked, her eyes wide with horror.

"We don't know," he shook his head. "Whether he did or didn't, he took advantage of her."

"Oh, Jason...I...is she alright?"

"She will be," he assured her. "She told me and Sonny what happened. Sonny will help her."

"Doctor Baldwin is good. She helped me. Tell Sonny, okay?"

"I will," he promised her, the corners of his mouth curved slightly.

"I-I'm glad. She needs someone to help her. I...I don't know if it would be better to remember or not." She broke off and looked away. "How could I have been so wrong about him?"

"It's not your fault," Jason told her, his hand lifting, then dropping back down into his lap.

Pressing a hand to her chest she shook with disgust and rage. "I slept with him... We...after that night. How...how could I sleep with a man who was capable of that? How could I not know?"

"Elizabeth," Dr. Torres said gently. "You couldn't have known. Sexual predators are very good about hiding who they are. They look like your neighbor, they can be anybody. It doesn't say anything about you because you trusted him and he betrayed that. He was the person who was wrong. Not you."

Elizabeth calmed slightly under the fierce, but reassuring gaze of her therapist. "You and Carly were both victims, and we will get you through this, Elizabeth."

"Thank you," she whispered, feeling a bit of hope for the first time that she just might be able to get through this. "Thank you."

Her doctor smiled. "It's what I'm here for. And I believe that you'll get the answers to what happened and you'll be able to handle it, deal with it, and most of all, heal. A person blocks things out until they're ready to deal with them. You're remembering things, and I think that means you're getting better. Don't you?"

"I guess," she shrugged. "It's all so confusing still."

"I know, I know. Do you remember anything else about that night?"

Slowly she shook her head. "No. I just remember him telling me Jason and Sonny wouldn't believe me. And I...I got a little lost in him telling me I was crazy. I don't remember everything about the fight."

"That's alright. You will, but you made a big breakthrough yesterday. We know why you wanted Ric to leave, why you were uncomfortable with him there. We'll talk about it all in your sessions, but you need to rest. We're not going to rush this."

Standing, Yvette slipped her hands into the pockets of her slacks. "Get some rest. We'll see how you feel tomorrow, alright? See you later."

"Okay," Elizabeth said, feeling fatigued despite having just woken up.

"Bye," Jason told her and watched her leave. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck then raised his head. When he looked back at her he seemed uncomfortable to find she was watching him. "I...I should probably go too."

"Can you...can you stay?"

"S-sure," he said, sitting back down in the seat he'd barely risen from.

She rolled partly onto her right side and looked down at the comforter. "I wanted to say thank you for...it was great talking to Emily. I've really missed her."

"I know," he answered. "I miss her too. I imagine it's been harder on you."

"I think I've made it harder on me...and you," she said, daring a look at him. "Did you get to talk to her?"

"I did," he answered with a small grin.

"I'm glad," she smiled, knowing how important Emily was to him.

She yawned and stretched on the bed slightly. Jason cleared his throat and stood. "You're probably tired. I should let you get some sleep."

"Jason?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you stay...at least until I fall asleep? I...I just don't want to be alone right now. If-if you have something you need to do...I-I understand."

"No," he shook his head as he sat back down and stretched out his legs. "I don't have anything else to do, and I'll stay just as long as you want me to."

She snuggled down into the covers as she smiled and closed her eyes. He'd told her before he wasn't leaving and she'd been afraid to believe his words. It was too much to think about Emily's declaration regarding Jason's intentions right now. But she believed Jason would stand by her while she was recovering and that he wouldn't abandon her. She'd care later that it was all just borne of pity, but today she'd allow herself some comfort.

Chapter 21

The coffee mug paused halfway to his mouth as he saw Francis cross the yard and stop a few feet away from her. She looked up at him and easily conversed with the guard. Elizabeth had spent most of her time with Yvette in intensive sessions, quiet and withdrawn when he did see her. It was natural, he supposed, given she had remembered her rape, and realized she'd been with a man who raped another woman.

He watched the pair for a few more minutes, then turned and headed to the table. It felt wrong to be watching her, wanting to be the one talking to her and almost feeling jealous that she would talk with Francis while avoiding him. But he had done many things that had shattered Elizabeth's trust in him, so he could understand why she didn't want to be around him.

She had laid bare her soul that day in the hospital, blankly reciting why she believed he loved Courtney more than her. He hadn't known how to tell her that he didn't have to put effort into being with Courtney because his heart had never been with her. Elizabeth's behavior now made sense to him. Her distance, telling him she wouldn't survive when he left; she didn't just believe he would some day leave her, she believed he would leave her to return to Courtney. He didn't know how to combat her fears of abandonment, except to continue to reassure her by words and actions.

The door opened, and he looked at Francis as the sandy-hair man walked in. His linen suit helped combat the heat, but he immediately stripped off his coat and draped it over a chair. Jason finished his coffee and leaned back, nodding at the man. "They know you wear a gun. You don't have to wear a jacket to cover it. Not with this heat and humidity."

"Yeah, but the jacket helps keep it dry," he said as he shot a look out the window. "I mean, I'm lucky I made it down to the guard shack and back without it deciding to rain."

The beginning of the rainy season - Costa Rica seemed to have only two seasons, wet and dry - had caused them all to grab an umbrella before walking outside for any length of time. Jason wanted to ask about Elizabeth, but didn't want to pry. He wanted to have another cup of coffee, but didn't want to seem like he was too anxious to sit at the table with Francis without having something to occupy his hands with other than his empty mug.

"You want some more?"

"Sure," he smiled, holding out his mug.

Francis filled the coffee, returned the pot to the warmer, and sat down. "I was surprised to see Elizabeth out there."

"Me too," Jason agreed. "I came down and saw her out there. She wasn't there when you headed out for the security check?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "She wants to talk to you, by the way."

He glared at Francis who had waited to tell him that until he was taking a drink of coffee, causing him to nearly choke. The other man hid his smile behind his mug. "She said that?"

"She knew you were watching her and she said she wanted to talk to you." He couldn't keep the grin off his face as he added, "That is if you don't mind joining her outside."

Jason tossed back the rest of his coffee and stood. Crossing to the door, he grabbed an umbrella and turned the knob. Pausing, he looked back at his friend with a grateful look. "Thank you, Francis."

Then he stepped outside and walked slowly towards Elizabeth. He didn't want it to appear that he was rushing to get to her, nor did he want to scare her. He paused a few feet to the side of her and placed the tip of the umbrella against the toe of his boot. "Morning, Elizabeth."

"Hey, Jason," she returned, glancing up at him briefly. She seemed unsure of what to say next and gazed back out over the yard.

"Francis said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Are you busy?" Her fingers twisted in her lap and he casually hooked his thumb in his pocket to keep from clenching it into a fist.

"Not busy at all," he said instead. He hated how she seemed afraid to bother him, that she had to ask permission to have a moment of his time. They'd work on that, but for now he'd focus on the fact that she sought him out, that she hadn't walked away from him.

She looked at the umbrella he held, then stood. "Could...could we maybe go...go for a walk?"

A small smile crossed his lip and he wanted to say something to calm her, soothe the nerves he could see, but the only thing his brain could tell him to say was, "Yeah."

Years ago, Elizabeth used to be able to spend hours with Jason and never be bothered by the silence. Today it made her feel like she didn't quite fit in her skin. Maybe it was because she wasn't allowing herself to hide in her room and lose herself in reliving her rape. She had spent quite a lot of time with Yvette who had refused to let her retreat into the past.

They had dealt with what happened to her that snowy night in the park, but most of their focus was on Ric. Elizabeth finally came clean about everything with Jason, the lie, walking out on him, and the hurtful and angry words they'd flung at each other. She talked about her involvement with Ric, how she'd given him the ammunition to snow her over by talking about the way it ended with Jason.

She realized why she hadn't seen Ric's obsession with Sonny because she had let herself be swayed by his attention and the carefully calculated moments that made her think he was nothing like Jason. So craving for attention, wanting to be worthy of a man's affection she ignored the inconsistencies in his behavior. She thought he was everything she wanted, but it was all smoke and mirrors. And the illusion came crashing down when she found out what he had done to Carly.

Suddenly she felt dirty again. It wasn't because of Tom Baker, it was because she had given her body to a man who laughed, laughed, at the anguish he had inflicted on Carly. Even if she had never been raped, Elizabeth would never have been able to be with Ric. The more she remembered of the fight with him the more she wanted to shower with a Brillo brush.

It made her stomach threaten to rebel and suddenly the mango she'd had for breakfast was sitting like a lump of lead in her gut. She sucked in large, slow gulps of air and hoped the sensation would pass. She was so focused on not being sick that when Jason touched her elbow she jerked back and screamed.

"Hey, hey," he said, his hands stretched innocently at his sides. "It's okay, it's just me. Are you alright?"

"I...I," she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"Hey, you know, let's sit down," he said gently, cautiously stepping forward and reaching for her elbow. His touch was light, barely there at all. "The garage is just ahead."

She let him lead her and soon she was sitting in his workshop surrounded by his tools and the smell of motor oil. He left the door open and propped a window open to let the breeze that was picking up clear the heat that had built up inside. He leaned against the bench across from her and tipped his head to the side as he watched her take deep breaths.

"You okay?"

Raising a shaky hand to her damp forehead she sighed. "It...it just gets to me sometimes. It's not the memory of Tom Baker that makes me take four showers a day; it's Ric. I feel ill when I think of how wrong I was. How he could...how he could do that to Carly and then...then turn around and be so tender with me. I just..."

She trailed off and shook her head. "I won't let myself get caught up in that cycle again. I'm dealing with it. Yvette is...she's nearly as great as Gail Baldwin. We've talked about Ric, and everything he did, so much that sometimes I just can't think about it anymore. I have to force myself to think of other things.

"That's why I was outside this morning. It was so beautiful, so calm as the sun was rising, I hoped it would center me." She paused and rubbed her palms over her arms. "I had to find something to focus on besides Ric. And I found it."

He crossed his arms, and nodded. He wouldn't ask her what she'd found, she knew that. He'd let her tell him or not, just like he let her get everything else out in her own time. "It's you."

"Me?" he asked, the surprise clear in his voice.

"Yes, I realized a few things. I have been...rather rude to you. You've done so much to help me," she said, running a hand through her hair. "I was so focused on ignoring you, being angry that I didn't have Doctor Baldwin to help me, pushing you away from me, that I never really thought about what you did. You got me out of the hospital, you got me away from Scott, you got a house, Francis, Doctor Torres…and I've been walking around like a petulant child."

"It's alright," he said. "You were dealing with a lot of things. I didn't do it for you to thank me."

"No," she smiled, "I know. But I also never thought about anyone but myself. As usual. You walked away from Emily, Lila, Sonny and Carly...you left your entire life behind."

She hadn't thought about all the others he'd left, having been so focused on Courtney. They hadn't discussed his break-up from Courtney aside from him confirming it that morning she woke up. But she didn't want to talk about Courtney now.

"I wanted to say think you. For everything you did, and are doing, to help me. Thank you for arranging the phone call to Emily. I...I'm sorry that you had to leave your friends behind because of me." Her anger toward herself was building. "Don't you ever get tired of cleaning up my messes?"

"Elizabeth," Jason said, his voice even, yet filled with conviction and his eyes warm and open. "I am not just cleaning up some mess, like one of Carly's plans that always backfires on her. If I'd wanted to, I could have gotten you out of the hospital and the country and stayed in Port Charles. Sure the police would have questioned me, but I wouldn't have gone to jail. So it's not like I had to leave the country with you. I chose to leave with you, and do you know why?"

She shook her head, afraid to speak. Afraid to really think about the full implications of his words. She just couldn't allow herself to think about what it could mean.

"Because whether you really want to admit it, Elizabeth, you are important to me. I needed to be here with you while you recovered, and it didn't matter to me if I couldn't go back. I know I'll see Sonny and Carly again, as well as Lila and Emily."

Her eyes stung with tears at his words and she couldn't have spoken if she wanted to. Jason took a deep breath and shifted his stance. "I know it was bad between us for a while, but it couldn't - it didn't - change the fact that we're friends. And I will always be there for you, no matter what happens, you will never lose me."

Closing her eyes, she kept the tears from falling. This was the Jason she'd missed. Friends. While it panged her heart, she would settle for friends. "Thank you," she whispered. "For friendship...for everything."

She stood and walked to the door, taking a deep breath to calm her emotions. It had clouded up while they were talking and she knew it would be raining soon. She could use that as an excuse to leave, to run from the overwhelming feeling that had surfaced during their talk. Jason wouldn't stop her, he would never press her, but yet she didn't leave.

She had a fear, one she hadn't even shared with doctor yet. Her voice was timid, hesitant as she finally gave sound to the thought that had begun to plague her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," he told her, his feet scuffing across the concrete floor as he drew closer.

"The...the first time you killed someone...did it bother you? Because...even though I don't remember it...I know I killed Ric. And...and right now it doesn't bother me. Yet I feel like it should. I took another person's life...and I don't feel anything."

Chapter 22

"Why?" she pressed. "Shouldn't I feel something?" The lack of feeling sometimes scared her.

"Not necessarily," he shrugged. "Look, I don't know everything about PTSD, aside from a second hand psychology book I bought before we left, but what you went through...Elizabeth, you were frightened by it. You blocked it out and have only started to remember bits. You've...you've remembered hearing that the man you were dating raped another woman."

She flinched and couldn't help taking a step away from him. She just couldn't be near anyone, especially a man, when she thought of Ric. Jason didn't react to her retreat, just slipped his hands into his pockets and continue on in a smooth, even tone. "I think you are very brave."

Her head snapped up and she peered at him trying to decipher if he was patronizing her. "You've worked to remember," he continued on, "and yes, you've been frightened. I...I hate what happened with Ric - to Carly and you - but you aren't giving up. That's brave, Elizabeth."

"I don't feel brave," she shook her head. "I just want to stay in my room and cry sometimes."

"See, you're feeling something. Maybe you don't feel anything about Ric because you haven't remembered. Maybe it's not real enough to put an emotion to."

"Maybe," she shrugged. His words, honest and unpolished, helped ease the worried knot in her stomach. She did feel things, but she was tired of feeling fear. The fear at times threatened to pull her under and she fought so hard against it.

Stepping back from the door, she pushed her hair away from her face. The incoming storm was different from the normal showers, the wind was stronger and she was tired of her hair stinging her eyes. She looked over her shoulder when the door fluttered as the wind gusted.

"You're probably tired of being told not to force it, just to let it come. I'm not good at saying those things-"

"No, and I like that," she softly interjected.

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. "If you're tired of thinking, then...we could go for a ride or something."

A ride. The offer hung in the room, like it had so many times before. A way for her to get away from the noise in her head and just not have to think. She could just lose herself in the roar of the wind and the rush of adrenaline. She once would have given anything for the offer, but she knew Jason was only offering because he felt he should.

Their ride a couple of weeks ago had been bittersweet and a bit painful. She sometimes cursed herself for going with him that night. She had been weak and wanted to have just one more ride before letting him go back to Courtney. Now she knew Courtney was no longer in the picture and she was a bit afraid of what a ride would mean.

"Elizabeth."

She turned and at the same moment the wind slammed the door shut behind her. Spinning she looked at it, panic coursing through her. The sound reverberated in her head, crashing off the walls.

"Elizabeth?"

Abruptly she whirled around and gasped. "No."

It wasn't real. He wasn't here. This...this was - had to be - her mind playing tricks on her.

"Elizabeth?"

Shaking her head, she took a step back as he took a step forward and her back collided with her artist's table. Frantic, she reached behind her, searching for something, anything to defend herself. Her fingers brushed over various objects, until they latched around a long, flat handle.

"Get away from me!" she yelled as she swung up with her make-shift weapon. The satisfying crunch of bone met her ears along with the accompanying cry of pain. Energized she struck again, blinking when something warm and wet hit her face.

Ric crumpled to the ground and she raced for the door, stumbling slightly. The handle finally yielded under her sweat-slick hands, then freedom. Racing forward she was surprised how quickly she was on the docks and breathing fresh air, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

She ran, just knowing that she had to get away, get to safety. Soaked to the skin, she stopped by a building, leaning against it to catch her breath. As her breathing slowed, regulated, the earthy smells - not sea - filtered into her brain. She wasn't on the docks; she was leaning against a tree. A tree. On the property in Costa Rica.

With a sob she sank to the ground, not caring about the bark that scratched her bare arm. What had happened? Hugging her knees to her chest she laid her cheek on them and tried to sort through the memories that assailed her.

"They're going to miss lunch."

Francis looked up from his newspaper and glanced at the doctor. She was a good doc, had to be for Esteban to recommend her to Jason, but sometimes he wondered at her common sense. Jason and Elizabeth were adults and if they got hungry they would come to the house and eat. What they did not need was some overbearing mother hen who fussed a little too much over her patient.

What they did need was some time alone to be honest with themselves and each other. He knew that the most important thing was Elizabeth getting better. But he also knew that those two had a lot to deal with. Elizabeth had been avoiding Jason since they'd arrived, barely speaking to him at all. So the fact that she asked to talk to him...well Francis wasn't too anxious to interrupt them because Dr. Torres was being a worry-wart.

"If they get hungry, they'll come in," he said, his voice showing his dismissal of the topic. She made a tsk-ing noise and he folded down a corner of the newspaper. "And if Elizabeth doesn't want to talk to Jason anymore, she'll leave. Stop being so overprotective of her. You act like Jason's the boogieman and is going to attack the fragile, little waif. Elizabeth may be going through a rough time, but she has a strength to her that will surprise you."

"Nothing is unbreakable," Yvette countered, her accent thicker as she was more impassioned. "You focus on the same spot long enough and you'll break even the strongest steel. Elizabeth has survived a great many things, but Jason is both her strength and her weakness."

That was true, he conceded to himself. The same could be said about Elizabeth in regards to Jason. He didn't know the full details of her latest episode, but Yvette was acting like Jason could cause her to shatter and he just didn't believe that.

"Well, eventually, they're going to have to resolve what's between them."

"Eventually," she agreed. "But not right now. You're a good man, Francis, and your complete faith in Elizabeth and her ability to deal with what happened to her is wonderful. So many others would sigh and say how awful, how will she ever recover? But you don't fully know what she's dealing with. You don't know the fine line she's walking in her recovery and you don't realize how Jason - however unintentional or how innocent something seems - can push her off her perch. So don't roll your eyes and think I'm being overly controlling and worrisome."

"I'm going to go do a walk of the property and check in at the guard hut. Sometimes in the rain they get a little lax," he said as he stood and grabbed his coat. She folded her arms over her chest and fixed him with a pointed glare. With a sigh he added, "I'll try to check on 'em. Probably just by walking up I'll break whatever moment they're having and Elizabeth will retreat to the safety of the house and you."

Then he was outside and futilely turning his collar up against the rain. He needed a rain coat. He didn't like carrying an umbrella because it tied up one of his hands and the sound of rain hitting it would drown out all other sounds until it was too late. So he slogged through the wet grass thinking that he should invest in a hat, at least, to keep the water out of his eyes.

He veered towards the right, figuring with the rain and where he'd last seen Jason and Elizabeth walking, that they'd ended up at the garage. As he approached the free-standing structure he could see the side door banging against the frame. If they were inside they would undoubtedly be bothered by the noise, and Jason would never leave without securing the door properly.

Approaching the garage, he reached in to get hold of it so he could close it and stopped in shock. The sight before him hit like brass knuckles to his gut as he grabbed onto the door frame and swore darkly. Jason lay on the floor, blood pooled and beginning to congeal under his head.

Yvette wondered why she'd bothered to grab an umbrella as she raced out the back door. The rain coming in at an angle was soaking her legs up to her waist and the umbrella was more cumbersome than helpful as she kept fighting against gusts of wind that threatened to rip it out of her hands. Halfway on her way to the garage she abandoned the offensive item and clutched her medical bag tightly.

Skidding across the wet gravel, she nearly tumbled through the door in her haste. She was not prepared for what she saw. She had expected Elizabeth to be in dire straights when Francis called, frantic and urgent, and told her to get down to the garage with her doctor's bag. Yvette had not expected to see Jason unconscious on the floor with a broken arm and a blow to the head. The wrench clearly used in his attack lay on the floor, the pool of blood partially surrounding it.

"What happened?" she gasped.

"I found him like this. I've already called for men to carry him up to the house. They're bringing the SUV."

"Did you call a doctor?" she demanded.

"I called you."

"You need to call a doctor."

"And you," he said, his voice low and forceful as he stalked towards her, "need to remember your medical school training. You did an ER rotation, right?"

"Yes," she nodded shakily under his wrath.

"Then you get to work. Stabilize him, get him to the house, splint his arm and..." he faltered momentarily as he glanced at the unconscious man. "And check his head. I'm calling in Sonny's doctor from the island. If we use a doctor from around here we risk him talking to the police or something."

"Francis," she said, her voice worried about Jason waiting that long.

"If...if we have to, if after you examine him you determine that he'll die if he has to wait, then we'll call one in." He ran a hand through his hair, unwittingly streaking Jason's blood through it. "But...but if he can wait until I can get someone here I know we can trust...it would be extremely helpful."

"I understand," she nodded. "I'll do my best for him."

"Thank you. I'm going to look for her." The worry settled deep onto his face as he looked out the back door.

Looking down at the wrench she swallowed heavily. "Francis, be careful."

He followed her gaze and his weighty sigh filled the room. "I will."

She watched him go, and then turned, kneeling next to Jason while opening her medical bag. Grabbing a pen light, she lifted Jason's eyelid and began to examine him. "Come on, Jason, please be alright."

Chapter 23

The rain obscured any footprints Elizabeth may have left, but he figured since he hadn't seen her on his way to the garage from the house, she probably headed towards the edge of the property. The trees were thicker there and he was forced to slow down so he wouldn't miss her or trip over the uneven ground.

Finally he found her, huddled on the ground, knees drawn up to her chest as she leaned against a tree. Her hair and clothes were soaked and plastered to her body and he didn't know if the tremors he saw were from being chilled or from shock. He paused for a moment, to catch his breath and collect himself while he studied her. Aside from the small tremors, she was unnaturally still and her eyes wide and unfocused.

"Elizabeth?" He kept his voice even, not too loud in the hopes he wouldn't scare her.

She didn't move and he slowly stepped towards her, careful to make no sudden movements. He now understood Jason when he talked about how unsettling and nervous it made him to approach her in moments like this. Slow and easy he crouched down in her sight line, still a non-threatening distance from her.

"Elizabeth?"

Her hands were tightly clenched around her knees, only faint traces of blood remaining around the nails. Rain streamed down her face and he could see tears as well. He reached his hand out, paused halfway, reconsidering his thought to touch her and let his hand fall back down to the ground. The movement must have been enough to catch her attention because she blinked and turned her head.

"Elizabeth?"

"Francis?" Her voice was confused, her eyes cloudy. "What...what happened?"

"I was kinda hoping you could tell me."

She took a deep breath and futilely pushed her hair back, while her forehead wrinkled in thought. "I...I killed him. We-we fought and I killed him."

"You didn't kill him, Elizabeth," he said slowly, his voice low and throbbing as he ached at the thought of her fighting with Jason. "I-I'm sorry you had a fight, but you didn't kill him."

"Yes, I did," she insisted, her voice a bit high. "His blood was everywhere. I-I think he broke his neck when he fell and hit the table. But he was definitely dead...and I killed him."

Fell and hit the table. Jason didn't hit a table, he fell in the middle of the garage. She was either mistaken...or remembering something else. "Are you talking about Ric?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I finally remember. We'd been fighting about what he did to Carly and he was afraid I really would tell Jason and Sonny and that someone would believe me. He...he wouldn't leave and he started threatening me, telling me I couldn't tell anyone."

Her voice was getting faster and higher as she talked and he wanted to calm her, but he was afraid to touch her. Finally, she took a deep, shaky breath and seemed to pull her tension back. "I tried to get to the door. I...he'd been coming towards me and I kept backing up until finally I darted past him. I got to the door when he grabbed me-"

He closed his eyes when her voice broke and new tears streamed down her already wet face. No wonder Jason said he'd rather cut off his arm than to think about what Ric did to her. One person should not have to relive so much pain.

"I fought him," she continued on, her voice now sounding small and far away. "I didn't want him touching me. He said I had to come with him; he couldn't leave me so I could tell anyone. There was no way...no way I was going with him."

"Good girl," he murmured.

"I got free...and I grabbed the bat Jason gave me...and I swung."

"Okay, okay," he said, reaching out slowly. She didn't shy away when he touched her hand, and he sighed when she let him pull her close. "It's okay. Shhhh."

He didn't want to hear anymore and she didn't need to continue. He just held her while she shook and cried, and when she started to pull away he immediately let her go. "Come on," he said, "let's get out of the rain."

She nodded like a small child and let him pull her up. They took a couple of steps when she stopped and looked around. "Francis, where's Jason?"

He froze. He didn't want to tell her the truth. He was absolutely certain Dr. Torres would say to keep her away from the garage, that with everything she'd just remembered she didn't need to see Jason lying in a pool of blood from a head wound she gave him.

"Francis?"

"He...he's-"

"No," she gasped, her face paling.

"Now, calm down. It'll be alright-"

"Alright? No! It won't... He promised me...he promised me he wouldn't leave."

"Leave?" he puzzled. "No, Elizabeth, it's not that...he..."

But she never heard a word as she took off running. He bit out a curse and took off after her.

He'd left her. He said she was important, that he wanted to be here with her. She believed he was sincere about being friends again, so why would he leave her? Had he changed his mind? Did he sense she was in love with him and left to avoid her?

She emerged from the trees and raced towards the house, but stopped when she saw the SUV parked by the garage. Maybe he hadn't left yet. Maybe she could stop him from going. She'd promise to stop pushing him away, she'd never push him for more, if only he wouldn't leave. Pivoting, she sprinted towards the structure.

"Elizabeth!"

She ignored Francis, not wanting him to stop her. Her shoes splashed through a large puddle and she reached the door, bursting through. Her soles slipped and she grabbed the door frame to steady herself.

All she could see was the blood. Angry and red, it stood out in the middle of the floor and hit her hard. Guards had jerryrigged a makeshift stretcher that Jason was lying on. His arm was splinted, his head was wrapped and his eyes were closed.

"Jason!"

Her desperate shout echoed in the room and everyone looked up at her. She took a step forward but Francis grabbed her around the waist and pulled her outside, turning them so their backs were to the building.

"Don't go in there, Elizabeth. You don't need to see that."

Rapid fire Spanish could be heard from inside before Yvette stepped out. "Elizabeth? What are you doing here?" Her gaze flicked to Francis. "Why did you let her come here?"

"I had to stop him," Elizabeth cried. "I couldn't let him leave me."

"Elizabeth, no, no," Dr. Torres said instantly. "He wasn't leaving."

"What happened to him?"

Her doctor paused and looked at Francis who Elizabeth could feel tense behind her as he held her. Her eyes widened in comprehension. "No, no, no. I-it-it was me? I...I did that to him?"

"Elizabeth, calm down," Yvette said softly, taking a step forward. "We'll take care of this and we'll figure out what happened."

"No," she shook her head. "I did that. I remember. I remember what happened with Ric."

"You do?"

"I heard a door slam and I remembered him grabbing me and slamming my door shut when I tried to get away. I fought him and I grabbed the bat Jason gave me." A sob broke free and she felt her knees sag, but Francis kept her standing. "I-I hit him thinking he was Ric. Oh no...I did that to him. Please-please tell me he's going to be okay. Please. You have to...he can't die."

"Elizabeth, Elizabeth, please you have to calm down. I checked him out. I don't know how severe the head wound is, but a doctor's coming."

Head wound. She hit him in the head. He could die because of her, just like she killed Ric. Her stomach rolled and she pitched forward mere seconds before she threw up. She shook off Yvette's hand on her shoulder and stood, immediately collapsing back into Francis. "When will he be here?"

"He's flying in from the island," Francis answered. "I called him immediately."

"Sonny's island?" she asked, breaking out of his grip and spinning around. "He can't wait that long."

"Elizabeth, we don't know the local doctors, and we can't take a chance," he shook his head. "Costa Rica isn't like other Latin American countries. We could find a doctor who would take care of him and not say something to the police, but I won't take that chance. Not with you. Yvette is a doctor, she'll take care of him. Sonny's doctor will be here soon."

"Francis, I don't care about the police. I don't care what they do to me. You have to take care of him."

"We will, Elizabeth," he promised. "We will. But it has to be this way."

"Why?" she cried desperately clutching at his shirt. "He's hurt. That's all that matters."

Roughly he grabbed her shoulders and gave her a small shake. "Elizabeth, you know why it has to be this way. It's just like when he was shot and you took care of him. We can't take the chance of a policeman finding out we're here because they'd send him back to Port Charles and Scott Baldwin would put him in jail for helping you escape."

She hadn't thought of that. Jason would agree with Francis, she knew that right away. Shakily she nodded. "You-you're right. I hadn't thought of that. You…you promise the doctor will be here soon?"

"He's probably taking off right now."

"Come on, let's go up to the house," Dr. Torres said, taking charge of the situation now that Elizabeth was slightly calmer. "We all need to change and I need to take care of Jason."

There was a soft knock on the door and Sonny looked up from the book he was reading with Michael. Johnny stepped inside, looked apologetic, but called him over to talk.

"Come on, Michael," Carly said as she stood. "Say goodnight to Daddy. I'll tuck you in."

"Goodnight, Daddy."

"'Night, Michael," he said with a tight hug. When they were upstairs he walked over to Johnny who merely shook his head and opened the door.

The guard greeted them as they walked past him, silent until they entered Jason's penthouse. Sonny had tried to get Johnny to take the apartment, but so far his new second had refused. For right now, it was a place they could talk uninterrupted, yet still be close to his family. "What's going on?" he asked once they were inside.

"Francis called."

Immediately he was worried. Johnny's tone conveyed that something was definitely wrong and he wondered why Francis would call instead of Jason, or why he would call Johnny instead of him. "What happened?"

Johnny took a deep breath. "There's been an accident. Apparently Elizabeth remembered her fight with Ric."

"Is she alright? Did she hurt herself?"

"No. Jason. She was with Jason when she remembered and she thought it was that night."

"Oh no," Sonny breathed out. He'd read the autopsy report on Ric, he knew the damage that had been done by the baseball bat.

"They were in Jason's garage," the other man continued. "She grabbed a wrench, broke his arm and hit him on the head. Francis called the doc from the island. Elizabeth's doctor is taking care of Jason until he gets there."

He closed his eyes and said a silent, quick prayer. "Get the jet ready. Make it look like I'm going down to the island, but get me to him, do you understand?"

"Yes, of course," Johnny said and immediately left.

Sonny stood in Jason's penthouse and slowly looked around. He wanted to take something for Jason, a picture, a note from Emily, anything so that he wasn't showing up empty-handed, but he knew that would cause suspicion. It had to look like just a business trip to the island that suddenly came up. With a heavy sigh, he turned for the door. He had to go lie to his wife and not let her know that their friend had been seriously injured.

Chapter 24

"How's he doing, Alejandro?"

"His pulse and blood pressure are good," he stated.

"What about the tests from last night?"

Two days since the accident and Jason only regaining consciousness for a few brief moments, Alejandro had found a doctor he said they could trust and took Jason to the hospital in the middle of the night for tests. Sonny had wanted to go with them, but had been convinced he would only be in the way and draw unnecessary attention to an already tricky event.

"All the tests were within normal range. The swelling is going down, blood flow looks good, brain waves don't indicate any problems. The fact that he has woken up a few times is a good sign."

"So it's wait and see?" Sonny couldn't help but grouse.

"It's all I can say, Mister Corinthos," he apologized. "Jason has survived many things. I just won't know how he really is until he wakes up."

"I know, I'm sorry. I appreciate you coming you here and taking care of him."

"De nada," the doctor murmured. "I'm going to check a few more things on Mister Morgan. Could you please excuse us?"

"Of course," he said as he stood and crossed the room. He pulled the door closed behind him as he stepped out in the hallway, then turned for the stairs.

He passed by Elizabeth's room its door closed as always. The younger woman had avoided him since his arrival; in fact the only person who had seen her was Dr. Torres. She refused to see him or Francis, and certainly had not been to check on Jason. She was feeling guilty about what she'd done, and while he understood, he wished he could talk to her. Sonny didn't blame Elizabeth for what happened, knew Jason wouldn't either, but he suspected she would have a hard time believing that given her state of mind.

A door opened behind him and he turned, surprised to see Dr. Torres step out of the library. He immediately put his finger to his lips so she wouldn't speak and silently motioned her forward as he stepped towards her. They met in the middle and spoke in hushed tones.

"How's Jason doing?" she asked before he could even speak.

"Good," he told her. "Doctor Robles is in with him."

"That's good. I hoped...well, I was very worried about waiting so long."

It was a common worry she voiced, and he wanted to cut off her apologies for not doing more for Jason. She kept his best friend alive, and had been doing great work in helping Elizabeth; he had no complaints with the doctor. "I know," he told her. "But you did great."

Sonny shifted on his feet and glanced back at the library. "I hope you don't mind me asking, were you with Elizabeth?"

She nodded just once.

"I'd like to talk to her, but I don't want to jeopardize anything." He paused and scratched his cheek. "I don't want to upset her either, but I know that if she had her way she'd avoid me forever. Is it too soon for me to try and get her to talk?"

Dr. Torres sighed and folded her arms lightly over her chest. "She blames herself and on top of her breakthrough the other day..." She trailed off and sighed again. "But she is hiding, and as much as I try to help her, I think she needs someone who knows her better...who knows Jason. You can try. Just...just keep in mind that she's still pretty shaky."

"I will," he promised. He didn't want to hurt Elizabeth, both for the sake of her recovery and for Jason, but he also knew she'd hold onto her guilt and slowly let it eat her alive if someone didn't step in. Besides he owed it to Jason to look out for her and not let her sink into her self-loathing. "Thank you."

The doctor nodded and headed towards the stairs, while he headed for the library. Gently he turned the handle and slowly pushed the door open. Elizabeth was sitting on a window seat, her head pressed against the glass, her knees pulled tightly against her chest. Her hands were hidden under the long sleeves of her chocolate colored top.

She didn't turn her head as he stepped into the room and quietly closed the door behind him, and he wondered if she could see his reflection. Skirting the sofa as he crossed the room, he paused only to pick up a chair and bring it over to the window. He set it down so he could see her, and also look out the window. "Hey, Elizabeth."

She said nothing, didn't even move, and he found it a bit unnerving. She was hardly ever quiet, even when she was nervous, and he usually saw her at Kelly's when she was constantly in motion. He knew from his talks with Jason that she had gotten pretty good at ignoring others if she didn't want to talk, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs while looking out the window.

"Carly's been going to Doctor Baldwin," he said, determined to talk until she either moved or said something. "Jason told me, that in the middle of everything going on, you wanted to be sure she got someone to help her. Doctor Baldwin is as great as you say. Carly's only gone a couple of times, but we can already tell that it's helping."

He glanced over and saw Elizabeth was no longer looking out the window, but somewhere over his right shoulder. "I...I want to apologize to you, Elizabeth. You-you were always such a good friend to me, and I feel like I let you down. I don't know what happened, but somewhere along the line I forgot that you saved Jason's life and protected him from the whole town when I betrayed him. You sat with me the night Carly lost our baby and even when she has been rude and nasty to you, you have tried to never disrespect her to me. You told the truth to protect my sister and I...I was a selfish bastard who forgot all of that and how important you were to Jason. I was a bad friend to both of you, before, during...and especially after you were staying with him."

She now brought her gaze to meet his, but he couldn't read anything in her eyes and he hated how dull and lifeless they looked. "I...I am so sorry for how I treated you."

"Why?" her voice cracked, as if rusty and she cleared her throat. "Why are you apologizing to me? Why don't you hate me?"

Elizabeth watched him as he ran a hand over his face and then massaged his neck. His eyes were warm and open and he leaned forward even more. "Sweetheart, I could never hate you. Especially not over this."

"I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity," he shook his head. "Pity's what you have when you see a sick dog you know's gonna have to be put down. I don't pity you." He leaned back in his chair and his hands clenched into fists in his lap. "I'm angry. Angry at Ric Lansing for all the hurt he caused - to Carly and especially you. No woman should ever have to suffer the fear and pain of a man like him. I'm angry at myself for forgetting all about you and letting you get caught up in his sick and twisted plan and fearing for your life."

He broke off and looked away, forcing himself to take several deep breaths. She could see the fury rolling off him, and waited for him to turn it on her. He looked down at his lap, and slowly his hands uncurled. When he raised his eyes, she could see the moisture shimmer in their depths. "What I'm not, Elizabeth, is mad at you. I hurt for you. Hurt that you had to go through all this. What happened here with Jason, is not your fault." His words were fierce, yet tenderly soft. "You didn't do that on purpose to him. You were caught between the past and reality and you were going on pure instinct."

She dropped her cheek onto her knees, slowly closing her eyes while pretending she hadn't seen the tears that escaped his. He should hate her for all the pain she caused Jason, two days ago and in the past. But the simple, raw sincerity she felt from him was real. How could he not blame her?

"I could have killed him," she whispered.

"But you didn't." She heard the chair moving closer.

"He could still die," she persisted, determined to make Sonny see. "He hasn't woken up. It's been two days."

"He has woken up. And he spoke once, said my name," Sonny told her softly. "The doctor took him for tests last night."

She knew that. Had heard the men as they gathered in Jason's room and then carried him downstairs. She sat in the dark in her room, terrified of what had happened to him that made them take him away. But she couldn't make herself get off her bed and go find someone to ask. It was early in the morning when she heard the men coming back upstairs and the doctor's voice carry down the hall as they settled him back in his room. She'd crept to the door, opening it just a crack and heard him tell Sonny all the test results should be ready in a couple of hours.

"The results are good, very encouraging," he told her. "The swelling is going down and we're just waiting for him to wake up."

Hot tears flooded into her eyes and she shifted, burying her head in her knees. She had done that to him. She had put him in a bed, unable to wake up, unable to have control in his life. And if he did wake up, how much damage would she have caused?

She tried to muffle her sobs, but soon it was fruitless to try to stop them. She hadn't let herself cry since the first night, before Sonny arrived, and she couldn't stem the tide now. The cushion by her feet dipped as Sonny moved to the window seat and rested his hand on her shoulder. It only made her cry harder. "What have I done, Sonny? All Jason has ever done for me is help me, and I constantly hurt him. He should just walk away."

"Jason's exactly where he wants to be. And when he wakes up, he'll tell you that himself."

She raised her head and his blurry form swam before her eyes. "But what if he never wakes up?"

"No," he shook his head. "No what ifs. Not now. He has woken up. You know Jason, Elizabeth, he's strong, he's a fighter. Don't start worrying about those what ifs quite yet."

"I can't help it," she sniffled.

Sonny smiled, gentle and reassuring. "I know what would probably help. Go see him. See for yourself that he's alive, that he's breathing-"

"No!" The word rang through the room like a gunshot and she nearly fell as she scrambled off the window seat and put the two couches between them. She couldn't go in his room, she couldn't see him lying there in bandages knowing she was responsible for them. She shook her head violently. "No."

"Elizabeth?" He stood and slipped his hands into his pockets, his forehead creased with confusion.

"I can't see him. Not like that. I don't have the right." She shook her head again and backed for the door. Grasping desperately for the doorknob, she twisted it and spilled out into the hallway. She raced to the safety of her room and locked the door before sinking down to the floor.

She had no right to see Jason. Not now. Not when he woke up. Not ever again.

Chapter 25

Muted soft light filtered through the blinds as he finally managed to open his eyes. The room seemed familiar, yet fuzzy, and when he saw Sonny's doctor he figured he was Puerto Rico. Had he had another run-in with Ortiz? He winced, closing his eyes against the pain that stabbed him in protest for thinking too hard too fast.

"Jason?"

His eyes fluttered open. "Sonny?"

"Hey, man," his friend smiled. "How you feeling?"

"I didn't get in a fight with Ortiz again, did I?"

Sonny cast a quick, worried glance at the doctor before looking back at him and shaking his head. "No. You're not in Puerto Rico, Jason. You...you're in Costa Rica."

"Costa Rica?" What was he doing down there?

"Jase?"

"Elizabeth." He brought Elizabeth to Costa Rica.

"Yeah," Sonny breathed out relief.

"Sonny." The doctor's tone was apologetic, yet authoritative. "I need to examine him briefly."

"Of course," his friend nodded. Reaching over he patted Jason's leg, then stood. "I'll be back in just a moment"

"Yeah," Jason said, resigned to the doctor examining him regardless of whether he wanted it or not. Sonny slipped out quietly and Jason settled back against his pillow.

"How's your head?" Dr. Robles asked as he slipped the blood pressure cuff on his right arm. Jason wondered why he would walk all the way around the bed when he'd been standing on his left side.

"Hurts," he said simply, wincing as he turned it to inspect his arm. That was when he noticed the cast and the sling. The pain meds had dulled his senses and he could barely feel the weight of the plaster against his side. "What happened to my arm?"

"Compound fracture," the older man answered, then silenced further questions by sticking a thermometer in his mouth.

Since he couldn't speak he let his mind work, trying to figure out what happened. Elizabeth had been arrested and he took her out of Port Charles, bringing her down to Costa Rica where she had been trying to remember what happened that night with Ric…and shutting him out. Dimly he was aware of the doctor shuffling around in the background, but he was recalling being in the garage with Elizabeth.

"Oh man."

"Jason?"

He looked over at Sonny who was back in the chair and saw that the doctor was out of the room. Sonny leaned forward, his eyes filled with concern. "You okay? I can pull Alejandro back in."

"No," he said, his voice thick. "Elizabeth...is she alright?"

"She's quiet...spending time with Doctor Torres," Sonny hedged.

"Sonny." His friend looked up. "I know she hit me. I...I know she didn't mean to, and I know she was caught in the past. Have you talked to her?"

"Briefly," he sighed. "She's beating herself up pretty hard over this. She refuses to see you, she doesn't see anyone except her doctor and stays in her room...she expected me to hate her for this."

"You don't blame her, do you?"

"No," Sonny said immediately and forcefully and Jason knew it wasn't an act. "No, Jason, I don't. She didn't do this intentionally…and she feels horrible for it."

"You can't let her blame herself," he told his friend.

"I've tried to talk to her," the older man tried to assure him, tried to calm him. "I kinda had to sneak in after a session with her doctor. I told her how you were, that I don't blame her, and that I don't hate her...and she ran out of the room. She's locked herself in her bedroom since yesterday."

Jason closed his eyes, feeling tired and spent with just the little talking he'd done. He didn't blame Elizabeth for what happened, knew that she'd been caught up in a flashback, but he didn't want her to blame herself for this either. He didn't want this to set back all the progress she'd made. He wanted to see her, to assure her he was alright; but he couldn't even get out of bed. And somehow he didn't think anyone would be able to convince Elizabeth to come to him.

But he had to try and so he turned to his friend and asked for help. "Try again, please? You can't let her throw her recovery off track. Please tell her I'm awake and that I'll be okay."

"I will," Sonny promised, a small smile curving his lips. "I'll talk to her and I'll try. But you know her, she's a bit stubborn."

"Yeah," he tried to laugh, but couldn't. "Please ask her to come see me."

She'd refuse. He knew she would, but he still had to make the request. She needed to know he wasn't angry, and that most of all, he did want to see her. And he needed to see her. To see how she really was, not the watered down version Sonny was giving him.

Sonny walked out of Jason's room and paused in the hallway, running a hand over his face. His skin caught on the whiskers he hadn't bothered to shave since his arrival. His best friend was back asleep, but Alejandro assured him it was perfectly normal. The best news of the whole situation was the fact that Jason had woken up and remembered what had happened to him. That gave them encouragement that there would be no lasting effects of the incident.

Now, he needed to fulfill his promise to Jason and try to talk to Elizabeth. He knew it wouldn't be easy; she was avoiding everyone as she had before, but since he'd spoken to her the day before in the sitting room she hadn't even come out of her bedroom. Dr. Torres brought the younger woman's meals to her and the therapy sessions were held there as well.

Sonny was determined to get through to her however, because Jason had asked for it and his friend has asked for so little from him. He'd only ever asked him to look out for his family, his friends who were important to him, and Sonny was ashamed to say he hadn't done everything he could have for them. Emily's accident had occurred when nobody could reach him because he'd been hurt and recuperating, but also because he'd been hiding and licking his emotional wounds over Carly. He'd forgotten about Elizabeth, despite all that she'd done for both him and Jason.

Now, Jason had asked him for another favor. Talk to Elizabeth, make sure she didn't blame herself for what happened, and try to help her. As always with Jason, it was about taking care of someone else. The closest his friend had come to being selfish, was to ask for him to bring Elizabeth to see him. He hadn't said it, but Sonny knew it was as much for him as it was for her. While Jason wanted her to be assured he was alright, he himself needed to see her.

And the first step towards making that happen for his friend was to go try and break through the walls Elizabeth had erected around herself. He squared his shoulders and walked down the hall, his steps betraying his hesitancy at facing one small woman. He knocked on her door and settled in for what he knew would be a tough battle.

After waiting several minutes he knocked again. "Elizabeth, it's Sonny. I know you're going to try to ignore me, but I'm not going to leave. So, unless you want everyone to listen to me talk to you though this door, maybe you should open it."

She was a stubborn woman. He knew that from the few things Jason had told him, as well as from some of their own encounters. She had tenaciously protected Jason after he was shot, even going so far as to tell him that Jason didn't want to see him and she wasn't going to let him push his way into his best friend's life and hurt him even more. She had doggedly refused to let Jason end their friendship, she didn't care what the whole town said about her or him, and she never blamed him for any of the danger that touched her life because of their association.

But then it all changed last fall. Sonny didn't know all of the particulars of Elizabeth's PTSD or why she walked out on Jason and how that led to the younger man dating Courtney. But the dark corner of his soul - the place that he often tried to ignore and keep the door locked on - wondered if he was somehow responsible because of the events of the summer and ordering Jason not to tell Elizabeth about his fake death. It was that secret room of self-doubt and recrimination that wasn't going to let him walk away from Elizabeth, but was going to help her see and realize she didn't need to sink into the darkness that had to look so inviting. He knew it could be appealing, but he didn't want her to fall into a pattern he did so often himself.

"Alright, Elizabeth," he sighed and continued to speak through the door. "Have it your way. I've got all the time in the world too, and I'm not giving up on you."

He shrugged and shifted, leaning one shoulder against the door frame. "Maybe you'd prefer it if I did. If we all did. If I refused to have anything to do with you because of how you treated Jason in the past, or what you did to him now. But I already told you that I don't blame you. If I have to tell you everyday until you finally believe me, I'll do that. Because this wasn't your fault, Elizabeth. It was Ric Lansing's."

The name was sour and bitter in his mouth and he had to pause and take a deep breath. "What he did, to Carly and you…he's responsible for this. You protected yourself, Elizabeth. You defended my wife and never even doubted for a second that Lansing had violated her. Your mind played a trick on you and I know you feel awful that Jason got hurt, but he's getting better. Really, he is."

He couldn't keep the smile off his face as the excitement and relief he'd felt when Jason opened his eyes coursed through his body again. "He woke up," he said to the door. "Just like I told you he would. He's still tired, but he knows where he's at. He remembers everybody, and most of all he doesn't blame you. He's worried about you, wants to know that you're alright…remembering everything that you did that day.

"I know you think you don't have any right to see him, but he wants to see you." He paused, wondering if that would at least get her to open the door, but it remained firmly closed. "He's asked to see you, Elizabeth. Do you really think he'd do that if he blamed you or never wanted to see you again? You remember that winter he was shot...he had no problem telling Carly and I to go away. That he didn't want to see us. He's asking to see you. Are you really going to deny him that when he's asked you for so little?"

Elizabeth sat on the floor to the side of the door, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them. Tears streamed down her face as she listened to Sonny talk, begging him in her mind to stop. Why couldn't he just accept that she didn't want anyone to attempt to draw her out or make her see that she wasn't to blame? She had her sessions with Yvette, and that was enough.

But then Sonny said Jason asked to see her, wanted her there. It was hard for her to believe because he should want nothing more to do with her, she'd caused him more pain than one man deserved. But if it was true, Sonny was right. Jason had asked for very little from her personally.

She raised herself to her knees and scooted over to the door, her hand hovering above the knob. Jason had done so much for her, how could she not give this back to him just because it was hard to think of facing him? He had always been her friend during the time she bounced between him and Lucky, and he hadn't complained or turned her away even though she knew it was hurting him. Surely she could this for him.

Maybe if she saw him, she would be able to make him see she was no good for him. He could abandon this loyalty borne out of pity and get on with his life. It would kill her not to have him around anymore, but it was the best thing for him. And so he could never know how her heart would shatter when he left.

"Elizabeth?" Sonny's voice was softer than before. "Are you even in there, Elizabeth?"

She lowered her hand, she could just ignore him, make him think she wasn't inside, but she raised her hand and turned the handle. Forgetting she'd been on her knees until Sonny crouched down in front of her, she shied back and sat down, looking up at him and feeling very lost.

"Elizabeth?" he questioned her, concerned but not crowding.

"Hey, Sonny."

Chapter 26

He sighed and shifted slightly on the balls of his feet. "It's alright if you don't know what to do, Elizabeth. Nobody says you have to have all the answers. Do...do you want to talk?"

She looked away and shrugged, not missing the way he tempered the hopeful look in his eye. She wasn't really sure she did know what she wanted anymore. Her mind seemed constantly in turmoil, and she didn't know what she should do for herself or Jason. Certainly Sonny could understand that, but would he be able to set his friendship and loyalty to Jason aside and truly listen to her? No, he probably couldn't, and that wasn't really surprising or disappointing.

"It's okay, Sonny," she shook her head and scooted away from him. "You don't have to do this."

He calmly watched her retreat, and then asked, "Can I come in?"

After a long minute, she resigned herself to the fact that he wasn't going to give up, despite what she hoped. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back on her bed, "yeah."

She heard his footsteps on the tile floor and the door softly close. "I know you're tired Elizabeth, and I know you'd rather I just let this drop and didn't push, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I'm really not. I just want to help you...and I think it could help to talk."

"Why do you even care?" she asked, the disbelief creeping into her voice.

"Because you once helped me during some difficult times, and I realized I haven't always remembered that."

She pushed herself up and paced away from him. "No thank you."

"What?"

"I am so tired of people doing things because they pity me, or think they owe me for something I did for them long ago. I never did anything so that I could hold it over your head."

"I know," Sonny nodded. "That's not who you are."

"So I don't want your pity or your obligation."

"Okay, then how about my friendship?"

She looked at him, her brow arched skeptically. "Friendship? Right. You only make friends when they can do something for you. I was a way to feel closer to Jason, and when I outgrew that you didn't care anymore."

"Then let me make it up to you."

"So you can assuage your guilt?" she scoffed. She closed her eyes and her shoulders slumped. "Sonny, why are you pushing for this?"

"Because Jason asked me to do this and he asks for so little from me. I'm usually the person taking and taking from him with no thought, and this is something I can give him."

She turned to the window and looked over her shoulder. "You really don't play fair, do you? Well, maybe it's for Jason that I'm doing this."

"You staying away from him?"

"Yes," she whispered as she turned back to the window. "He doesn't need me in his life and he'll realize that he's better off without me. He can get better and then go wherever he wants. I can only bring him trouble and a lot of pain he doesn't need."

"Hmm," Sonny scratched his chin as he sat down in a chair across the room. "I think I've heard this song before. Except that Jason was the one saying you'd be better off without him in your life, you'd be safer, he should just leave. And I remember him getting all bent out of shape because you resented him making a decision about your life without consulting you and fought him. Told him you wanted him in your life."

"That's not fair," she whispered at him.

"Life isn't fair," he shrugged without apology. "The two of you have been doing this dance for years. One thinks the other is better off without them, you act all noble and self-sacrificing and the other hates having decisions made for them. Jason doesn't blame you and if you stopped acting like a scared little girl and went to see him you'd find that out for yourself. But maybe that's what you're really afraid of."

Leaning back against the wall she crossed her arms over her chest. "You think that if you get me angry enough I'll go see him? You forget, Sonny, I've been meeting with a psychiatrist for a while and I know all the tricks."

He smirked as he shrugged his shoulders. "You figured me out. Not very subtle, was I?"

"You're a good friend to Jason," she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. "But I honestly don't think I can face him right now, and I'm not sure if I ever can. After all he's done to help me...I could have killed him."

"Could haves can be pretty scary. About as bad as what ifs. So many times I get trapped in those myself. About Lily, Brenda, Carly, even Jason. And it's usually Jason who pulls me back, but it's not always easy."

Elizabeth crossed the room and sat down on her bed, pulling a pillow in front of her. Sonny was doing his best to convince her that her self-imposed isolation and determination to see Jason wasn't necessary, and it annoyed her that some of his points did make sense. There was a part of her that did want to see him, but she wasn't sure if she could. Jason probably wouldn't blame her, but wouldn't it just be another case of him doing something because he felt bad for her?"

After all, he found out about PTSD, that it started in the summer, and he suddenly refused to give up on her. She never thought of Jason doing things out of guilt, but that had to be why he'd done all of this for her. Being locked in a hospital was too much like the crypt, she had ended up with Ric because she was running from Jason, and she'd killed him because of what he'd done to Jason's friend and her. Jason felt like he was responsible for her, just like she had for Lucky, and so he refused to give up on her. Even when he probably should.

Sonny stood and slipped his hands into his pockets. "Just think about it, Elizabeth. I know he wants to see you...but I think he doesn't really expect you'll show up."

When he closed the door behind him, she rolled her eyes. She never pegged Sonny for being so transparent about things, but maybe he figured if he shamed or challenged her she'd go see Jason. Well, she wasn't played that easy and he knew it. But he had given her some things to think about she realized with a sigh as she lay down on her side and curled her arms around the pillow.

"Hey there," Francis smiled as Jason's eyes slowly drifted open. "Welcome back to the land of the living. I gotta tell you, man, you sure are a sight for sore eyes."

"Hey, Francis," he rasped out.

Wincing at the course-sounding words, he picked up the water glass on the table. "Drink?"

"Thanks," Jason replied gratefully as Francis helped him get a drink.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as the other man settled back.

"Tired, sore, ready to get out of bed."

He chuckled at his friend's petulance. "Not going to happen any time soon, buddy, and you know it. Doc's not going to let you out of that bed for at least a week or more."

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"What'd you expect? You ended up with a broken arm and a nasty blow to the head. You gave us all quite a scare there." He paused and shifted slightly on his chair. "I though you were gone when I found you. It's not something I'm in a hurry to repeat."

"Thanks for helping me," Jason told him, his voice softening.

He shrugged the thanks away. "No problem. I know you'd have done the same. Do you...do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah," his friend sighed and fell silent; making him think that was all he was going to say. "Elizabeth and I were talking, she...she was talking about how she didn't feel anything about Ric, and then something set her off. I don't know what it was, but I saw it in her eyes. She was in a completely different place. I didn't want to crowd her, but I didn't want her to hurt her herself. I wasn't expecting the wrench."

"Yeah," he breathed out slowly. He wasn't sure anyone would have expected it. He certainly hadn't been prepared for seeing Jason lying there in all that blood.

"Who found her?" Jason asked, pulling him out of the memory of the garage.

"I did. She was in the far corner of the property, she didn't remember what happened to you, but," he took a deep breath and tried to force his hands to unclench. "But she remembered what happened with Ric."

"She did?" Jason's words came out on a slow, unsteady breath.

"She did," Francis nodded. "He...it was completely self-defense. He wasn't going to leave her alone. She..."

He trailed off, not sure if Jason was up for hearing what Elizabeth had told him as she was huddled against a tree in the rain. He wasn't sure he was up for it himself.

"Is... How's she dealing with it?"

Shrugging, he scratched his forehead with his thumb. "She was shaken up when I found her. About what anyone would expect. But I haven't seen her since then because she's been holed up in her room. I'm sure that Doctor Torres is helping, but I really can't say how she is. Sonny's seen her once...he may even be with her right now. You should talk to him again."

Jason, despite his efforts to fight it, yawned and Francis took that as his cue to leave. "Doc says I'm not supposed to stay too long and wear you out. I'll stop back later. Can I bring you anything?"

"My walking papers."

"No can do," he chuckled, not expecting anything less from the man who hated to be confined. "Anything else?"

"A book?" he shrugged with his good arm. "I'll go crazy in here anyways, but maybe a book will help."

"I'll see what I can do," he said as he stood. "How's your pain? Need me to get the doc?"

"I'll be fine," Jason replied stubbornly, and Francis made a note to tell Dr. Robles that his friend's face looked pinched with pain. No one wanted Jason to be overly drugged, but they knew he needed some relief if he was going to heal.

"Take it easy then," he told him, knowing that Jason would be asleep within minutes. The other man would try to resist it as long as someone was in the room, and so he'd allow him to stop fighting the battle. As he reached the door, he looked back and saw that Jason's eyes were already closed in fatigue.

Closing the door behind him, he cast a glance towards Elizabeth's room, wondering if Sonny was still in with her. He was the only one besides Yvette who had seen her. Probably because he was the only one who pushed; he certainly hadn't tried to force his way in past her walls. Francis wondered what his boss had talked to her about, and hoped that maybe he would be able to reach her.

But he had his own little plan for reaching out to her in the hopes of pulling her out of her shell. He knew that whenever Jason finally woke up, he was going to chafe about having to remain in bed while he recovered. So Francis looked for some new travel books and found some that Jason didn't have down here with him, and even found an old motorcycle repair manual for a vintage bike that he thought Jason might like. He'd also ordered some books on tape for when Jason felt too tired to read, but didn't want to sleep.

Stopping in his room, Francis pulled out the books he'd found, then picked up some notepaper. He separated the books into two piles, wrote out brief notes, and then headed back towards the stairs. He stopped back in Jason's room and stepped quietly so as to not wake his sleeping friend, and then left the second set outside Elizabeth's door.

The next time he awoke the room was dark and the house quiet. Normally there was a small of amount of noise; a door somewhere being closed, a voice drifting in from a distant room. But there was none of that now and he figured it must be night.

After being out for over two days and still sleeping so much after he'd woken up earlier in the day, he wasn't surprised that he'd suddenly awakened in the middle of the night. He'd done it after his coma and he had counted on it happening again now. He'd convinced Dr. Robles to lower the level of his pain meds in the IV, not liking the heavy doped feeling that accompanied them. He knew that if he wanted to get better he couldn't constantly be fighting off the pain, but he didn't want to sleep away all of the recovery time. The sooner he was able to tolerate the pain and function with it, the sooner he'd be able to get out of bed. He hated being stuck with IVs and catheters, and wanted to be able to have them gone.

The break in his arm was uncomfortable, a dull throb matched by the slightly stronger one of his head. He had a button he could push to give him a dose of medicine, but he didn't want to use it right away. But he also knew that if he lay there with nothing to do or think about, all he would focus on was the pain.

Turning his head to the right, he searched his room, hoping something would be in easy reach. In the faint lamplight he saw two books on the nightstand with a note tented on top. Cautiously he reached out, glad when he found he didn't have to stretch to grab hold of them. Pulling them onto his bed, he reached out again, smiling when his fingers brushed over the base of the lamp and the light brightened immediately. He loved the maker of touch lamps at that moment.

Jason-
Thought you might like something new to read. Enjoy. And no, you can't get out of bed yet.

He smiled at Francis' note and the travel book for Chile, and he marveled at the repair manual. Francis knew he would need some distractions while he recuperated, and probably already had these when he was in earlier. Jason was glad for the books because they would keep his mind occupied on things other than the pain, or how Elizabeth was and if she'd ever come to see him. He hoped eventually she would, but he was also prepared for a long wait before it ever happened.

Shifting slightly on the bed and grimacing when the pain radiated up his shoulder, he tried to push all such thoughts out of his mind and concentrate on reading the introduction on Chile.

Chapter 27

"Hey, man," Sonny grinned as he walked into Jason's room and saw the younger man propped up slightly while he read. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Especially since Doc let me get out of bed for a little bit yesterday. It's nice not to be full of tubes anymore."

Sitting down in the chair next to the bed he stretched out his legs. "I imagine it feels good. I hate when I'm laid up."

Jason just scowled and Sonny couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry, you'll be back up and around in no time. You just gotta be patient. You got plenty to read, or do you need more?"

"No, I'm fine. Francis said he ordered some stuff and it should be in tomorrow."

"That's good," he nodded, then shifted. "I have to go home tomorrow. Carly will start getting suspicious if I stay gone too long."

"How's she doing?"

"Good," he nodded. "She's meeting with Gail Baldwin, says it's helping. She's been spending time with Bobbie. She's really excited about the baby."

"How 'bout you?"

"Yeah, I am too," he smiled. "I didn't think we'd get to this place in our lives, but I'm glad."

His friend looked pleased. "So am I. Listen, I don't know... I don't want Carly to worry."

"Neither do I. I won't tell her about this. She'll just get mad at me for not bringing her along, then she'll just get all worried and fret...and maybe say something around the wrong person."

"Thanks, Sonny. I know you don't want to lie."

He waved it off. "This is for the best right now. There's nothing she can do, and it's better to tell her when you're better."

"Just one more thing, let me be the one to tell Emily."

"Sure thing," Sonny promised. Not that he really had much contact with Jason's sister, but he understood Jason wanting to be the one to talk to her. He could calm her and assure her in a way the older man wouldn't be able to.

They talked for a little while longer, about Michael and how he was doing in school. The little boy had begged him and Carly to let him sign up for Little League baseball; he loved it and was working hard on his batting practice. Johnny, it turned out, was actually a good ball player and was helping Michael with his fielding and throwing.

They didn't really talk about the business, because Jason was out of that life now. Even if he wasn't hurt, the younger man wouldn't leave Elizabeth. That was a subject they didn't talk about either. She hadn't been in to see Jason, and Sonny had hoped after talking to her two days ago she would at least stop in once.

He hadn't seen the younger woman since that day, and he wasn't sure he should try again to talk to her. He was afraid to push too much and alienate her completely. Dr. Torres hadn't been around the common areas very much either, so he wasn't able to ask her how Elizabeth was doing. She was a stubborn young woman, and it was hard to know if he had gotten through to her.

Jason sighed and stretched out on the bed, searching for a comfortable position. "Have you seen Elizabeth?"

Sonny shook his head sadly, and the slightly hopeful look in Jason's eye faded. "I'm sorry, Jason. I hoped."

"Yeah," he slid down on the bed and shoved his book to the side. "I'd hoped too. I'm sorry...I'm still tired."

"Of course," Sonny nodded in understanding. "I'll let you get some rest."

He stood and exited the room, knowing that Jason really wasn't tired. He was disappointed Elizabeth still seemed determined to stay away. Sonny didn't want to force Jason to have to deal with his disappointment in front of him, and so he allowed the uncharacteristic lie to go by unchecked.

Elizabeth was exhausted, yet she couldn't seem to sleep. Her mind was so filled with noise and clutter; it felt like she was running a race even though she was sitting still.

Today had been a taxing day; her sessions with Yvette draining her body into over-exhaustion.

Her doctor had been concerned about her determination to face certain things today. She was afraid Elizabeth wasn't ready, or that she was trying too hard, but Elizabeth persisted. She needed to face the place where she had attacked Jason if she ever hoped to deal with the swirling emotions inside her.

The blood was no longer on the garage floor, but she could still remember how stark and mocking it had been. She had pieced together the flashes of her memory, remembering even more about the night she fought with Ric. And she remembered Jason's cry of pain when she lashed out and hit him. The echo of that cry still rang out in her mind, part of what wouldn't allow her to sleep.

Sonny had told her Jason was awake - that he wanted to see her - Francis had tried in his own way to get her to see Jason was alright and she should visit him. But she'd resisted both their attempts. Yet as she talked with Yvette today, remembering more of how she'd hurt Jason and how desperate his situation had been, she'd grown increasingly agitated.

Yvette had been concerned she would need to give Elizabeth a mild sedative, but she'd managed to not completely get lost inside herself. Remembering the breathing techniques and relaxation methods she'd worked on with Gail and Yvette, she'd been able to remain in control and eventually calm down. Both women had taken it as an encouraging sign of her progress.

Now that she was alone in her room, it all just kept running through her head. She couldn't get the image of the blood out of her mind, or Jason laying there unconscious. She knew he was awake, and Sonny's voice echoed in the quiet telling her Jason wanted to see her. The impulse, the desire to go see him, to know for herself that he was awake and had no lasting damage pulled on her. She needed to know for certain.

Taking a deep breath, she stood and ran her shaking hands through her hair. She opened the dresser drawer where she'd stuffed the books Francis left outside her door and pushed aside the shirt covering them. A book on Venetian glass blowers - how did Francis know about that? - and a guide to the islands of the Caribbean. Francis thought having something else to talk about would help her at least go see Jason. Everybody, it seemed, thought they were amateur psychiatrists.

It did make the thought of going to see Jason a little easier. The fact that he would most likely be asleep helped as well. She didn't know if she could talk to him, but she wanted to see him. She grabbed the books, deciding she'd leave them with him if she didn't think she could come back.

When she stepped out into the hallway, she looked around nervously; almost as if she expected someone would catch her doing something she wasn't supposed to do. The door to his room wasn't closed all the way, and she quietly pushed it open. For a full two minutes she stood half in, half out of his room while she fought everything inside her that screamed for her to run. Her heart was pounding furiously when she finally got her feet to move and carry her into Jason's room.

Shakily Elizabeth sat down in the chair beside his bed and stared in shock at the sight. His arm was casted, the thick plaster making him look fragile somehow. The bruises on his head only added to the effect. He still had a bandage on the side, probably to cover the stitches, but she could see bruises spreading out from underneath.

She covered her mouth with her hand as tears filled her eyes. She had done that. She had hurt him. He was alive, he'd woken up, he would fully recover, but she'd done this to him.

"I'm so sorry."

Her voice was soft and ragged as guilt crashed down on her. Jason wouldn't blame her, he'd say he understood what happened, that it was an accident, but how could she ever trust herself to be around him after this? How could she trust herself to be around anybody? She'd killed a man, almost killed Jason; how could she allow herself to be around people when she never knew when she would snap and strike out at someone? Maybe it was best for everyone to just leave her alone.

While she hated being locked up and trapped, why should she be free so she could hurt people? Everyone was just trying to help her, but maybe it was too late. She didn't want anyone to be hurt again because of her, especially Jason.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't risk hurting him again. She would just leave the books and go. It was wrong to be selfish and come here just to make her feel better. She'd tell Yvette to tell him it was best this way. That was all she could do.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again. Tears fell freely down her face and she knew if she didn't leave soon she would be filled with broken sobs. "I'm sorry...you deserve so much better, Jason. You'll see."

He wasn't sure what pulled him from his sleep, but he woke to the feeling that something was different. Then he heard someone breathing and he knew he wasn't alone. Middle of the night, he wanted it be Elizabeth, but he was afraid to allow himself to hope. Then he heard a broken whisper and he knew it was her.

Elizabeth had come to see him. It was obviously hard for her; he figured it would be, so he lay there, hoping she wouldn't realize he was awake. If she needed the safety of him sleeping, he wouldn't take that away from her. Hopefully she would be able to process through things in her own way. This was a major step for her.

It was hard lying there silently, waiting for anything to happen. It grew increasingly difficult when he heard her breathing shallow and her muffled sniffles carry in the room. He wanted to speak, to calm her somehow, yet he was afraid it would send her running from the room.

Again he heard her whisper in a small voice and he strained to make out the words. "I'm sorry...you deserve so much better, Jason. You'll see."

She was going to leave, and he knew she'd be determined to never come back. Well, he wasn't going to let her walk out and not say anything. He wasn't making that mistake again.

She stood up and he knew he had to act now. Opening his eyes he saw her ready to bolt and he pushed himself up on his good elbow. "Elizabeth?"

Gasping, she spun around, the books in her hand falling to the floor. "J-Jason."

"Don't go."

She shook her head silently, tears falling unchecked down her face. "I have to."

"Please," he asked her, his arm trembling from the exertion of sitting when he was still so tired. "Please stay."

He slumped back against his pillow, his breathing hard and sweat glistening on his face. He grimaced at the pain and closed his eyes. He hated feeling so weak.

"Are you okay?"

Opening his eyes he saw she was sitting in the chair. She looked concerned and anxious for him to speak. "I'm just tired. A little weak still."

"Please...please be careful, Jason."

"I'll lie down," he said, "if you stay. Otherwise, I'll get out of bed and follow you."

Chapter 28

He knew it wasn't, but he wasn't going to apologize for it. He needed her to stay, he needed to talk to her, and if he had to prey on her concern for him he'd do it. "I want to talk to you."

"Obviously," she folded her arms and sat back.

"I..." Now that she was there and he wasn't worried about her leaving immediately, he wasn't sure what to say. "I...I'm glad you're here. I've been worried about you."

"Worried about me? I'm not the one who was hurt."

"I was worried about you, because of what you remembered. I...I know it couldn't have been easy."

"Doctor Torres has really helped me. I…thank you so much, Jason, for getting me a doctor to help me."

"You're welcome, Elizabeth," he told her. "I would do anything to help you."

She frowned just a bit and looked away. "I know. I wish you'd stop though."

Now it was his turn to frown. "Stop? Why?"

"Because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your kindness...and I don't want your pity."

Pity? She thought he pitied her? "I don't pity you. That's not why I do things, Elizabeth, and you should know that."

"Oh come on," she shifted on her chair, looking across the room. "Our whole friendship has been built on pity and obligation."

He sighed and glanced briefly at the ceiling before looking back at her. "Look me in the eye, Elizabeth, and maybe I'll believe you. But you can't because you know it's not true. That's never been what our relationship has been about."

She looked at her fingers twined tightly in her lap. "No...no, it hasn't."

"And I don't pity you, Elizabeth. I did this...I helped you because you're my friend and I care about you. I know you would do anything you could to help me, you have so willingly in the past. Did you only do it out of pity?"

He knew she hadn't and as expected she shook her head in denial. "I helped because we're friends. We had our differences, everyone has those. But friends help any way they can. I had the resources to get you out of town and in a place to heal. And I saved Emily and your friends from coming up with some crazy scheme to get you out of the hospital."

She looked up, "What?"

"They knew, like I did, that being locked up wasn't going to help you get better. They would have done anything to get you out, just like I did."

Elizabeth bit her lip and sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I keep being such a brat about this."

"It's okay. You were frightened and uncertain and you reacted the only way you could." He allowed a grin to tug at his lips. "But don't think I'll give up on you just because you think I should. No bailing, remember?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice wistful. "Though I understand better now why you thought it was for the best. I nearly killed you. You'd probably be safer if you weren't around me."

"Just like I always felt about you. You had a bomb in your studio, were shot at, were shot, kidnapped...I hated every time my life touched you like that. But you always fought me when I tried to make those decisions for you, so don't expect me to do anything less."

"Don't use my words against me."

"I will," he challenged. "Because I don't blame you, and I don't pity you. I certainly don't hate you. And you're not a danger to me, Elizabeth, no matter what you think."

"I knocked you unconscious for two days and broke your arm." Her voice was high and frantic and he knew she'd been thinking about this for a long time. The fact that he was fighting her was making her agitated.

"It wasn't on purpose," he countered, keeping his voice calm. "You caught me off guard. I could see you were remembering something, that you were back somewhere in your mind and I wanted to calm you down and make sure you didn't hurt yourself. I wasn't expecting what happened, even though I knew what had happened with Ric. So it is not your fault, and you won't convince me otherwise."

"Why are you so stubborn?"

He grinned, glad she was calming down from frantic to a bit exasperated. "I've learned it from you."

She sighed and looked down and he was pretty sure he heard her mutter 'brat' under her breath. When she looked up her eyes were soft and concerned. "Tell me the truth please. How do you feel?"

"It hurts," he answered truthfully, refusing to lie to her. "You've got a powerful swing there, Webber. I have a compound fracture in my upper arm, and you gave me a concussion. But the arm will heal and my head doesn't hurt as much. So I'm going to be fine. I'm too stubborn not to be."

"The doctor's sure?"

"He is. Believe me, Sonny's questioned him enough."

She laughed, and the ever-present tightness in his chest loosened at the unexpected, but beautiful, sound. "He can be quite determined."

He watched as Elizabeth fell silent and she got the skittish look back she had at the beginning. He knew her instinct was to still stay away from him and flee from this meeting. This was a major moment for them, and he wanted it to last, but he knew he shouldn't be greedy and try to get her to stay. But he couldn't help but ask. "So what are those books you dropped?"

"Oh," she blushed slightly. "Francis, in his own way, was trying to get me to see you so he left some books outside my door. Thought I might like to share them with you."

Francis was quite the resourceful, and underhanded, guy. Jason knew, though, that he owed the other man a huge thank you. Because Elizabeth was there in his room. "What are they about?"

"Venetian glassblowers and Caribbean islands."

It appeared Francis was also sneaky. "Are they any good?"

"I-I don't know," she stammered.

"Well, maybe you'd like to read them sometime. Francis got quite a few travel books to keep me occupied. You're welcome to borrow some if you want."

"Maybe," she said, her voice uneasy. "I-I should probably go. I really didn't mean to wake you up."

"I don't mind at all. I'm glad I'm a light sleeper, because I got to see you."

She was definitely uncomfortable and she leaned forward and hastily picked up the books. Putting them on the bedside table, she all but bolted for the door. "I…I gotta go."

Then she was gone and he heard her hurried footsteps recede down the hall, and her bedroom door click shut. She had come to see him, and while the visit hadn't gone great, he was taking comfort in the fact she came at all. Hopefully, it would be a positive sign of things to come.

Even though she was tired when the alarm went off, she still got up. She knew it would be easy to just roll over and go back to sleep. Nobody would question her if she wasn't downstairs for breakfast. She'd hardly been out of her room in nearly a week, one more day wouldn't matter. But one more day would turn into another, and then another and she'd stay in her room forever. It was time for a change.

She showered and dressed, in long, baggy clothes, and resolutely opened the door. She'd seen Jason last night and survived it. She could certainly go down and eat breakfast.

As she approached the kitchen, she heard Francis and Sonny laughing, and she paused. Nerves hit her and she listened for Yvette's voice. This would be easier to do if her doctor was there. Quietly listening, she determined Dr. Torres wasn't in the room. Sonny and Francis wouldn't ignore her in their conversation. She started to edge back when she heard footsteps behind her and tensed.

"Elizabeth?"

She turned and saw Yvette smiling at her. "Hey."

"You coming down for breakfast?" Dr. Torres asked, as she walked towards the kitchen.

Elizabeth nodded slightly and swallowed. "Yeah."

"Great," the older woman smiled again in response. "You can help me cut some fruit. Mister Corinthos said he was going to make waffles this morning."

Without realizing it, she fell in step beside her doctor and walked into the kitchen. "Good morning," Yvette said as they entered.

"Morning," Sonny replied, looking up from the waffles he was cooking. He saw Elizabeth standing there and she could see he was surprised. "Elizabeth."

"Morning, Sonny," she said timidly.

Francis stood and grinned. "Hey, Elizabeth. Nice to see you."

"Yeah," she said, her nerves seizing up on her again.

"Come on," Yvette said from beside her. "Why don't you grab a knife and a cutting board? I'll get the cantaloupe from the refrigerator."

"Okay," she nodded, knowing what her doctor was doing and glad for it. The older woman wasn't going to make a big deal of the fact that she was out of her room and joining them, and she was trying to deflect the scrutiny of the others.

"I'll set the table and grab the drinks," Francis said after clearing his throat, apparently realizing Dr. Torres's intentions.

As she heard him and Sonny moving around in the background, she relaxed just a bit, focusing on the task in front of her. Knowing they weren't staring at her like a sideshow freak, watching her in amazement because she'd emerged from her room, was a relief. Yvette seemed to understand she felt more comfortable beside her and her doctor stayed close, talking quietly as they prepared the fruit. By the time they sat down to eat she wasn't quite as uneasy about facing Sonny and Francis.

After breakfast she was surprised when Sonny said after he took some breakfast up to Jason, he needed to head back to Port Charles. He'd been away for a while, and while he was concerned about both Jason and Elizabeth and wanted them to get better, it would look suspicious if he stayed any longer. While she hadn't spent a lot of time with Sonny, she found herself feeling a loss that he was leaving. Yvette asked her if she wanted to wait to have their morning session until after Sonny left, and Elizabeth was unsure if she wanted to sit around waiting for him to come downstairs and go.

Sonny smiled reassuringly at her when she hesitated and set his linen napkin on the table. "You won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to sit around. Who knows how long I'll be up talking to Jason. I know that your sessions with your doctor are important, so we can say goodbye now. That way we don't have to draw it out."

"I...yeah, okay," she nodded.

"Then I'll be down in my office, Elizabeth," Yvette told her. Turning to Sonny she smiled, "Mister Corinthos, it was interesting meeting you."

He chuckled at her choice of words and smiled. "Likewise, Doctor. Thank you once again for all you've done for my friends."

"De nada, Señor."

Then she left the kitchen, followed by Francis who said he was going to check in with the other guards. Sonny put his elbows on the table and smiled at Elizabeth. "It's good to see you."

"You mean when I'm not hiding out in my room?"

He frowned slightly at her words. "Nobody thought you were hiding. We're not judging you, Elizabeth."

Sighing wearily, she folded her arms and rested them on the table. "I know. I just...this is harder than I thought it would be. And I wasn't expecting a cake walk."

"One step at a time," he said. "I won't patronize you by saying I'm proud of you. I know you're strong, and I knew you just needed time to work though some things. You have, and now you're taking back your life. One step at a time. I'm just glad I didn't have to say goodbye through a door."

She laughed slightly. "Thanks for caring, Sonny."

He stood and walked around the table, and held out his hand. Hesitantly she took it and he pulled her into a gentle hug. "Anytime, sweetheart. I know you can do this. So take care of yourself, okay?"

Nodding, she tried to hold back her tears. "Okay. You take care too. And...just thank you, Sonny."

Then, Elizabeth walked out of the kitchen and towards her doctor's office. When she entered, Yvette looked up from a medical journal she was reading and smiled warmly.

Collapsing into the plump chair next to the older woman, Elizabeth rubbed her head wearily. "I feel so tired."

"That's normal," her doctor assured her. "That was a big step you took this morning. You came out of the safety zone you'd been in, and that emotional exertion can affect people physically as well. What prompted you to come out?"

"I...I went to see Jason last night...and we talked."

Chapter 29

Five days after Sonny left, Elizabeth sat in her room after dinner feeling completely exhausted. Her sessions with Yvette had been draining as her doctor tried to help her come to terms with the fact that she had killed a person. Now that she was no longer hiding and frightened about what she'd done to Jason, it was starting to catch up with her. What she had remembered that night in the garage was demanding to be dealt with.

She logically understood her actions that night in her studio. She knew that had she not fled the country, the law would have called her actions self-defense. Not only had she overheard the fight between Ric and Carly, Carly's accusations of rape making Elizabeth remember her own past, but Ric had threatened her. All of that combined to create a situation in Elizabeth's mind where she felt she was in immediate danger of being harmed physically and possibly sexually. It was clear cut self-defense. She hadn't intended to kill him; she only wanted to get away from him.

But emotionally she was struggling to accept she'd taken a life. Ric may have been threatening her, he may have even deserved her striking out at him as she tried to get away, but she still couldn't believe she'd killed him. That she was even capable of such an act. It was something she never thought she possessed.

Part of her was bothered as well at how easily she had done the same thing to Jason. She had more guilt about Jason, understandably, because he had done nothing more than be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her time with her doctor seemed to be focusing less on her reaction towards Ric and more on Jason. Again it was understandable, but it was also a little scary.

She found herself opening up more about her past relationship with Jason. Revealing things she had previously held back. She first had a lot of anger about how easily it seemed Jason let her go, and that anger gave way to bitterness when he got involved with Courtney. But she finally owned up to her part in the whole situation. She had used harsh words against him; said things she knew would hurt him and make him hesitant to come after her. When they had met, she lashed out in anger. She could have acted differently towards him, so it wasn't fair to act like it was all Jason's fault.

That led to a lot of regret that she finally gave voice to. She regretted that they seemed to have lost their best chance. He was in town, staying longer than just a couple of months, she was finally free of her obligation to Lucky. It should have been perfect. And maybe that was the problem. She'd assumed they'd make it work, and maybe she hadn't done everything she could have.

Yvette pointed out that Jason was no longer with Courtney, that his actions in getting her out of the country indicated he still cared about her. And that sometimes was the scariest thing. She'd thought for so long that Jason's recent actions were just fueled by pity. But after being so brutal in their words to each other, she had to believe he was being honest now when he said he didn't pity her. She'd searched for a way to believe he was lying to her, but she couldn't find it.

That didn't mean she'd been back to talk to Jason, though. While she was glad he was doing better, a fact she knew because the others spoke freely about him in front of her, she was still hesitant to return. While he was awake, that was. Every night she would stop briefly in his room. Sometimes she just looked in on him and saw that his color was improving and the bruising was fading. If she did go into his room, she didn't say anything. He was such a light sleeper that she was afraid of waking him, and so she kept quiet, kept the visits brief.

Rubbing her eyes, she pushed herself up to a sitting position on her bed. If she continued to lie there, she would fall asleep. Slipping off her shoes, she sat down at her desk and curled her toes into the plush rug underneath. Yvette has suggested she keep a notebook and just spend a few moments everyday to write whatever came to her. It could be about anything, and Elizabeth could use it as a springboard for what they talk about in their sessions or not. It was just for her to get some of the muddled thoughts out of her head.

A lot of what she wrote was about Jason or Ric, but...not all the time. Sometimes it was about how she missed her grandmother and friends, other times a thought about something she'd seen or read while sitting in the library. Pulling out her notebook, she turned the pages and stared at the blue lines spread out across the paper. Nothing came to her, except how inviting her bed looked. Her brain seemed numb, no noise, no conflicting thoughts or emotions, nothing but the sluggish fatigue demanding she comply.

She scribbled a few lines on the page, and then put it away. Crossing the room she flipped off the overhead light then crawled to the center of the bed. Pulling the blanket over her, she sighed as she closed her eyes. Maybe tonight she could sleep without dreams that she couldn't fully remember, but certainly didn't leave her feeling rested.

"Hey, handsome."

Jason looked up from his book and scowled at Francis. He couldn't hold it very long in the face of his friend's smirk though. It seemed to be a personal goal for the older man to get him to laugh each morning. The blond walked into the room and placed the breakfast tray he held onto the bed.

"Hey, Francis," he laughed. "What's this?"

"Same as it's been for the past week. It's called breakfast. You will eat it if you want to get out of bed today. Doc thinks you can get out, maybe even leave the room and head down the hall to the library. Even thinks you could shave if you want." He wiggled his eyebrows, "Or I can do it for you."

"I'll pass," he grumbled, even as he picked up his fork and began to eat. He understood he had to eat if he wanted to keep the IV out and most of all to get better. At least this time he had more of a variety than soup. As much as he still couldn't eat the stuff, he couldn't help but smile at her concerned insistence that he eat it all every time she brought it.

He was glad, though, that Doc was going to let him leave his bed for more than just going to the bathroom. The blow to his head had been pretty hard, and he was still slightly wobbly on his feet. It was just maddening to be unable to get up whenever he felt like it. As he shifted his jaw to the side, he also liked the sound of a shave.

Francis, for all his gruff façade, didn't hound him into eating, or try to talk while he did eat. But as soon as Jason neared completion, the guard would begin a sort of daily run-down.

"Doc said he'd probably need to head back to the island in a couple of days. He's talking with Elizabeth's doctor, and his buddy who got you in the tests at the hospital. He thinks between the two of them, they can cover, and Elizabeth won't suffer for her doctor talking your pulse and noting it on your chart."

"Good," he said. He knew Dr. Robles wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him without someone to watch out for him. But he didn't want Elizabeth's doctor taking on too much. "Anything from Sonny?"

"Not today. He was going to spend some time with Carly since he had to leave her for a bit."

"Okay," he nodded, understanding.

"You need anything?" Francis asked.

"Not today," he smiled. "I'm looking forward to seeing something besides this room."

"I figured as much," Francis chuckled. "Doc should be here in a minute and after he checks you out you can get cleaned up."

"Best thing I've heard all day," Jason grinned.

"Day's not over yet, that could change," Francis said with mock seriousness, then grinned and patted the doctor's shoulder on his way out of the room.

"Francis give you the news?" Alejandro asked.

"Oh yeah," he nodded. "So let's get on with the exam."

Fifteen minutes later the doctor declared his concussion was much better and that he didn't need to spend all his time in bed. He did get a very stern warning not to push too hard, too quickly; Francis had free orders to force him back into bed if he thought Jason was doing too much. Jason had no doubt his friend would take great delight in enforcing that order.

"Jason?" Francis called out as he knocked on the outer door. Learning against the entry to the bathroom he tipped his head to the side. The teasing tone was tempered with genuine concern as he watched. "You doing okay?"

Shaving one-handed was a complicated pain, but he was doing it. It was bad enough he had to get a sponge-bath from the doctor, he wasn't going to let someone else shave him. He'd figure out a way to shower later this week, because there was no way he was letting Francis play nurse. But he knew that his hygiene wasn't what the older man was referring to.

"Yeah, I'm doing okay?" he said, scraping at the week's worth of growth.

"'Kay," Francis accepted. "You don't need an audience, so I'll just be out here. Holler if you need anything."

"Thanks, Francis," he said, but his friend was already walking over to the chair he frequently occupied.

When he finished with the task he was happy he hadn't completely chewed up his face, but it was going to take some time to adjust to only having one hand. Maybe he should get an electric razor to avoid this problem. As he walked out Francis looked up and chuckled, "What'd you do, use a machete?"

"Whatever, man," he shook his head. "Let's go."

"Where?"

"Out of here," he said.

"You want to head down to the library?"

"Sure," he nodded. He knew Francis was toying with him and he wasn't going to rise to the bait. "Anywhere but here."

"'Kay. You wanna put on a shirt or you gonna strut around like you're in a gym?"

A shirt. He hadn't worn one since he was injured. In bed where he was covered by a blanket it wasn't a problem. Leave it to Francis to bring up something he wouldn't have thought about. "Why do you do this to me? I don't care."

"Well," the guard shrugged, "I just thought that if you ran into Elizabeth you might be a little uncomfortable, or she might."

Elizabeth. He hadn't seen her since that night he woke up to find her in his room. He knew she wasn't staying in her bedroom as much anymore. Sonny said she came down to breakfast the morning he left, and Francis said she had been there for every meal after that. She was still a little uneasy with anyone but her doctor, but she was definitely making an effort.

It didn't surprise him that she was staying away from him, but it was still disappointing. She wasn't comfortable with him, and Francis was probably right about the shirt. "What'ya got?"

"Got a shirt that's a little larger than normal. Cut off the sleeves, it should slip right over your cast. You can button or not."

Francis helped him maneuver on the shirt and Jason couldn't help but shake his head at the things the guard seemed to think of. Turning to face his friend he said, "Thanks. For all you've done for both me and Elizabeth."

Francis shrugged it off. "Not a problem. I'm just glad I can help."

"How is she today?" Jason asked before the other man opened the door. He wanted to be prepared for if he did run into her.

"I don't know," he said cautiously. "She slept through breakfast. Doctor Torres said she wasn't worried. Elizabeth's had some intense therapy sessions, and she hasn't slept well. Yvette was going to go lighter today anyway, so she's not worried. Says it's not a setback or anything, just the intensity of everything catching up with her body."

"Alright," he said, because really he couldn't do much else. He hated having to rely on others to tell him how Elizabeth was doing. He wanted to see her for himself, just to have an honest assessment, and someone else's.

"So you ready?" Francis grinned.

"Yeah. And don't you dare try to hold my arm or something. I'll tell you if I need help."

Francis just laughed and kept up a running dialogue as they walked toward the library. Halfway down the hall, a door opened and they both turned. Elizabeth walked out of her room, pushing her up away from her face. She paused and looked up, as if sensing their gaze, and froze.

"Ja-Jason."

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