A ghost from the past causes troubles in Jason and Elizabeth's new life.
I'm a coward. I know that's what Brenda is thinking as she leans against the back of Jason's couch, arms folded across her chest as she watches me. Which is why I'm avoiding meeting her eye while I gather up my things.
"Elizabeth," she starts.
"Please, Brenda, don't. I know you don't like this, think that I should talk to him, but I...I'm doing this."
"Running away in the middle of the night?" her voice clearly conveys her disgust at my plan.
"It's not the middle of the night," I can't help but retort. "I just waited until Sonny sent him out of town on business.
Put it that way, Brenda's right. I am a coward. But this is hard enough as it is, I couldn't handle leaving and seeing Jason's face when I told him good-bye.
Things had been good between us. I should have known something would come along and destroy that. We were dating, not rushing or holding back, just letting things progress naturally. It felt good that we could talk to each other, honestly and without censoring ourselves or shutting down on the other person.
Then Carly and Michael returned to Port Charles. Without A.J. They came back to live with Bobbie after A.J. had gone to prison for embezzlement. The lavish lifestyle she demanded had overextended his salary and he dipped into the corporate funds. The Quartermaines said they'd help her out, provide a modest allowance for Michael, but only if she returned to Port Charles so they could see their grandson.
The first time I saw the woman who had devastated Jason's life and broken his heart was when she showed up at Jake's. I knew it was a surprise to Jason, he'd heard nothing about her return, and he tried not to show it, but he was bothered by Carly's presence. He ignored her when she attempted to talk to him, but I saw the way the vein in his forehead ticked when the blonde started to talk about Michael. I let him control what we did - if we stayed or left - just kept my attention on him and followed his lead.
I wasn't surprised when we left Jake's earlier than normal, but was surprised when Jason took us back to his apartment. That was the first time we slept together. Looking back now I can realize that what I thought was us making love was merely sex and a means of distraction for him. Every time we came together he was passionate, and even maybe a little desperate and out of control.
The night he said Carly's name, I understood why. I never called him on it, and he didn't seem to mind when I began pulling back. We kept on acting like nothing had changed, and we must have done a convincing job of it because Brenda can't understand why I would suddenly walk away from Jason when I've been so happy.
I can't bring myself to tell her about Carly, or the distance between me and Jason. My ego and pride took a huge blow that night and I'm in no hurry to pour more salt into the wound. I don't want them to treat Jason differently, especially since he'll be the one remaining behind and seeing them everyday. As hurt as I am, I love him too much to hurt him by talking bad to our friends.
Brenda steps in front of me and takes the bag out of my hand. "Elizabeth, what is this really about? You guys were doing so well until Carly showed up. You say she's not the problem, but I know you're lying to me. I've known you longer than Jason and I don't care that he's Sonny's partner, I care about you and I want to know what's going on."
"Let it go please, Bren," I whisper raggedly. "Please just let it go."
"No," she declares. "I won't stand by and watch you destroy both your lives."
"I'm not destroying my life, I'm saving it. So, please, let it go, Brenda. You don't know what's going on and I don't have to tell you anything. If you're really my friend you'll back off."
I know it's wrong to yell at her, but I am so tired of the circular arguments we've been having since I told her I was leaving town. She crosses her arms and glares at me. "Fine. You want me to stay out of it, I will."
With no good-bye she walks out, slamming the door behind her. I flinch at the sound, but I'm actually relieved she's gone. I make a quick circuit around the living room gathering the last of my belongings. I slip them in my bag and sigh as I take in the empty place.
My heart hurts and I feel sick, but I force myself to do this. It kills me to know that last night with Jason I slept with him to say good-bye in more ways than one, but I also know he's taken me to bed under false pretenses.
I pull out the letter for him and put it on the wet bar. It won't take him very long to find it given the way he's been drinking lately. Again, a move I can trace back to Carly's reappearance. If he needs to medicate with alcohol, I can't stand by and watch it.
Turning to go, I grab my bag and step out of the apartment. I give the keys to the guard standing outside Sonny and Brenda's door and press the button for the elevator. Brenda opens the door while I'm waiting and we stare at each other in silence until the soft ding signals the car's arrival and I step on. It's the last time I'll see her for a while and it makes me sad.
I just have one more stop to make before I leave Port Charles behind for good.
I hate her. Just the mere sight of her makes me loathe and want to hurt her. But this isn't about me. I'm stepping aside so that Jason can stop being torn up. I know how much he loves Michael and if my leaving town allows him to reconnect with the boy he called his son, then I'll do it. Even if it means he ends up with Carly.
Crossing the bar, I slide into the seat next to hers and order a double shot of vodka. Carly looks over at me, her lip curling as she recognizes me. "Go away, little girl."
"Don't think so," I shake my head as I take a drink. "You and I need to have a talk."
Tipping her head to the side she scoffs, "What makes you think I'd be interesting in anything you have to say?"
Oh, I know she'll be interested, and briefly I feel like I'm throwing Jason to the wolves. Should he really have to put up with her just to be with the little boy he loves? Maybe he has a special talent for dealing with her that I don't posses, because it hasn't even been five minutes and I'm ready to punch her.
"It's about Jason."
That certainly gets her attention and her eyes practically twinkle even as she asks, "What about him? Last I heard you were hanging all over him. Decide he was too much man for a little nothing like you to handle? Sorry, princess, I'm not giving you any pointers on how to hang onto him."
"Give me another," I flag down the bartender and wait for the drink to arrive. Brenda wasn't exaggerating when she said Carly was acidic.
"I'm not looking for pointers; I'm here to give you a tip. Jason gets back into town in three days. I'm leaving town tonight." I toss back the vodka and wince at the burn. It's a good thing I'm taking a cab to the airport. At the rate I'm going I wouldn't be able to drive myself.
"Goody for you," she snips. "Don't hurry back."
"I'm not. This is for good." Her eyes definitely spark on that little nugget of news. "See, I came to the enlightening, if embarrassing, realization that there's only one of us in our relationship. And it certainly isn't Jason. No, he's still hung up on you...or maybe it's just your son. Either way, it's not something I can compete with."
"How freaking noble of you."
"You don't even realize the power you hold," I turn to face her, praying that the tears burning the backs of my eyes don't fall. "You broke his heart when you left and took Michael; you have the power to heal it. Maybe you think I'm saccharine sweet because I want Jason to be happy. Frankly, I'd like to punch you in the mouth and make you swallow all your teeth, but I can't bear to watch Jason keep hurting and being miserable."
The smirk on her face as she sees dollar signs exploding in front her eyes sickens me. I take a deep breath and debate my next move. I know I've already given her enough ammunition. Any more will just make me want to gag.
Carly is something Jason will put up with in order to be with Michael. I can't in good conscience say anything more that will cause her to drape herself all over him like a cheap rug. I've done enough. Pulling out my wallet I toss a fifty on the bar; the bartender certainly deserves the tip.
She doesn't even look at me as I stand up and head for the door. That's fine with me; I know I couldn't take her gloating.
If Jason doesn't to get back together with her after this, there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe he's a bigger fool than I am, but I doubt it. Because there's nothing worse than being the fool in love with a guy in love with someone else. I'm bowing out of this race and giving him the chance to get back what he lost.
As I step outside and hail a cab the tears that had been hanging back flood my eyes. At least I managed to keep them at bay in front of Carly. I showed enough weakness already, at least I was able to escape with a margin of dignity in tact.
I look up from the book I'm pretending to read when somebody picks up my purse and coat from the seat beside me and sits down. I don't even need to see the Armani suit to know it's Sonny. Marking my page, I look up and wait. He didn't come all the way down here just to wave and wish me good luck.
"So, you're really doing this?"
"Yeah," I nod and suck in my bottom lip. I've seen Sonny angry before, and I'm hoping his loyalty to Jason doesn't cause it to come out on me.
"Why don't you tell me the truth and not the B.S. version you've sold Brenda. This is about Carly and I want to know how."
"Don't worry about it, Sonny," I say softly as I shake my head.
He turns to face me and I'm surprised to see - not the hard, stony expression I had expected, but compassion and empathy instead. "You see, Elizabeth, that's where you're wrong. I do worry about you. Yes, I'm friends with Jason, but that doesn't stop me from being your friend or caring about you."
"I wish you wouldn't. It'd be easier this way."
"You mean if we were upset at you so we'd be more supportive of Jason?" he asks, pegging my motives exactly. "He's not in love with Carly. You know that."
"He's in love with Michael. And Carly will use him as lure, bait...whatever. She'll also string Jason along with visitation as long as I'm around. You and I both know she will. Jason loves that little boy, and...and I won't be the reason he doesn't get to see him."
"Jason could always meet him at the park, or at Lila's," Sonny suggests.
"It won't be good enough for Carly," I shake my head. "The first night we knew she was back, you should have seen her, Sonny. She was in a bar, barely dressed and she all but sat in Jason's lap and shoved her boobs in his face. She didn't care that I was there. She looks at Jason and sees dollar signs, and no, before you ask, it's not fair to subject him to that kind of treatment."
I break off and look away. "Hopefully he'll be smarter this time when it comes to her and he'll realize he can see Michael without having to date Carly. But she won't tolerate anyone in Jason's life, someone that could make him happy-"
"Someone that could give him a child of his own," Sonny proffers.
"Regardless of that," I shake off the thought, "I can't stick around anymore. He's miserable, and he's not being fair to me and I won't stay in a relationship like that."
Quietly Sonny hands me his handkerchief and I take it, dabbing at my tears with embarrassment. "Not being fair to you how?"
Shaking my head, my cheeks warm with the shame of the memories and Sonny asking. "I'd rather not say." Regardless of how good of a friend Sonny's been to me I am not discussing my sex life with him.
"Alright," he agrees, placing a hand on my arm. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I really am."
"So am I, Sonny. I...I really care about Jason, I hope you know that."
"I do," he assures me. "It wouldn't hurt you this much if you didn't. I'd like to say that Jason will get home, see that you're gone and realize what a fool he's been, but there are times that his behavior is a complete mystery to me."
"Just be his friend," I say softly. "That's all you can do. And he's going to need one, even if he insists he doesn't."
"I will," he promises me. I feel better knowing someone will be looking out for him. "And I'll be there for you as well."
A shaky sigh escapes as my eyes water anew with emotion. "Thank you, Sonny."
"Flight 617 will now begin boarding at Gate 30. Flight 617 to St. Louis, now boarding at Gate 30."
I look up as the announcement sounds and force a brief smile at Sonny. "That's my flight."
He stands and extends his hand to help me up. "Why St. Louis?"
"Why not?" I shrug. "I need a new start; my boss heard they have an opening at a museum down there. Seems as good a place as any."
"Yeah, I guess I can understand," he nods his head in seeming agreement. "You take care of yourself, and if you need anything, anything at all, you call me okay?"
"I will," I promise as he hugs me.
I don't look back as I walk to the gate, hand my ticket to the attendant and walk down the ramp. As the plane takes off and the lights of Port Charles fade into the night, I realize I'm still holding Sonny's handkerchief. I really hope I can find the strength to start over again, but it's going to be tough. Especially since I gave my heart to Jason and he doesn't even know it.
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