Jason's drinking gets out of control, and Elizabeth tries to reach him.
"I need your help."
Sonny looks up at my quiet plea and blinks in surprise. "Elizabeth, what are you doing here? Are you okay?"
I told myself I would be strong, but I can feel the tears well up in my eyes and I collapse into the chair across from his desk. Sonny frowns and gets up, closing the door then sitting down in the other chair. He takes my hand and his eyes are deep and concerned, "Elizabeth?"
I blink hard, forcing the tears back and look up with renewed determination. "I need your help with Jason."
"What's going on?"
"It's his drinking," I say and Sonny sighs.
"It's getting worse?"
I nod as tears finally crest.
In St. Louis as Jason and I slowly rebuilt our relationship, I'd never seen him drink more than the occasional beer. It seemed like how he used to be, before Carly came back to town and sent him into a tailspin. It was a relief to see him back in control, especially when he told me how out of control he'd been after I left.
Gradually Jason and I got back to where we'd been and I eventually stopped watching every drink he took. My focus shifted to Jason and our eventual return to Port Charles. We hadn't talked about it, and I knew Jason would stay in St. Louis leaving occasionally to do things for Sonny if that's what I wanted, but I missed Brenda, Sonny and Kim and I knew Jason did as well. It would be easier for him if he was in Port Charles and I no longer doubted his love for me or feared Carly.
I know I surprised him when I said I talked with my old boss in Port Charles and he said there was a position for me if I wanted to come back. He hesitated, asking if I was certain that's what I wanted, and then looked happy when I said it was. I told him I loved him, and it really didn't matter to me where we lived, but our friends lived in Port Charles and I liked it there.
It was his turn then to surprise me when he asked me to move in with him when we returned. In St. Louis he had things at my place, I had things at his place, it seemed only logical that it'd be the same when we returned. He didn't push it, even seemed to expect me to say no, but I didn't. I love him, and I was ready to take the next step, as well as not have my belongings spread out over two apartments.
It wasn't all wine and roses, but our life together was good. We were happy for the most part, and I felt more content than I had in a while, so content that I stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop and things to fall apart. The first time we encountered Carly, Jason kept his arm around my waist and treated her with polite indifference. When she couldn't get any reaction out of him, she left and he turned to me and kissed me deeply before whispering he loved me. Right there in the middle of a crowded street. He didn't pull away, and I knew he had truly put Carly in his past.
So it was startling the night I came home and saw that not only was Jason back from his week-long trip, but that he was drunk. I told myself that I shouldn't get overly worried right away. Just because he was smashed didn't mean he was going back to the place he'd been when I left.
The next day, aside from being a little hung-over, he seemed better. But he wasn't. He started drinking more in the evenings, and then he started drinking earlier and earlier in the afternoons. The mini-bar returned to the penthouse, and I was getting more frequent calls to come down to Jakes to get him because he'd gotten into another fight.
We all tried talking to Jason, but he refused to admit there was a problem. Sonny tried to find out what happened on the business trip, but Jason wasn't talking and nobody down in Puerto Rico knew what could have caused him to act this way.
Sonny sighs and leans back in his chair, his mouth pinched with worry. "What happened?"
"He hasn't been home the last two nights, and I found out he's rented a room at Jake's."
"Oh, sweetie, are you sure?"
"I was there when he came home to pack up his things and move out." I look a bit sheepishly at Sonny. "I know I was wrong when I left before. I'm not doing that again. I love him and I refuse to give up on him, but he needs help."
Sonny nods his head in agreement. "He does. You're planning an intervention, aren't you?"
"I am," I confirm. "But I want to handle it. You know if you or Brenda is there he's going to fight it even more than he will if it's just the two of us. I have a better chance of getting through to him if I'm by myself."
"How are you going to get him there when he's moved out?" he asks. "I know he's barely around you anymore. Do you really think he'll come just because you call?"
"That's where you come in," I smile weakly. "I need you to get him to a place where I'm at, and make it impossible for him to leave. I know he won't hurt me, no matter how drunk or angry he's been, I've never been afraid of him. I just want to keep him safe."
He runs a hand over his face and looks away in thought. "I'll set it up," he promises me. "But you're going to have a phone and a guard near by. I'm protecting you."
I know it's not necessary, because I know Jason would never hurt me. But if it helps Sonny feel better and agree to this, I'll accept it. "Alright."
"I'll set it up," he repeats. "It'll take a couple of days, but you will have anything I can get for you two."
I stand and Sonny does as well, and I hug him tightly. "Thank you, Sonny, thank you."
Three days later I nervously pace around the living room of a cabin that Sonny purchased just for this occasion. I've spent the day with Francis, a guard that's accompanied quite often, and we've stocked the cabin with food, clothes, blankets and some medication Sonny's doctor prescribed and left me detailed instructions on how and when to use them. I'm really hoping those aren't necessary.
Now I'm just waiting for Johnny to arrive with Jason. I don't know what Johnny's going to tell him to get out here, I just hope that when he does arrive Jason doesn't react too badly. If he's drunk or itching for a fight, I've decided I'll have Johnny take him into one of the bedrooms and use one of the sedatives the doctor gave me. I know it's foolish, but I hope Johnny got him away from Port Charles before he started in drinking for the day.
I'm rather nervous about this, hoping that I can get through to Jason and help him realize just how bad his drinking has become. I wish for a second that I had a drink to calm my nerves, but there's no alcohol in sight, and that's a good thing. I don't need it, and Jason certainly can't have it around.
Lights flash across the drapes, and I stiffen, holding my breath. I hear the car doors creak open, then slam shut as he and Johnny get out. Footsteps echo across the wooden deck and Jason's voice carries inside. "Man, what are we doing out here? We're in the middle of nowhere."
"Sonny's orders," Johnny replies as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. I'm standing near the wall when they walk in and don't say anything, doubtful I'll be seen right away in the pale light from the lamp in the corner. My hands fly to my mouth to cover a gasp when Johnny suddenly pulls his gun on Jason.
"What the-" Jason snaps in surprise, but Johnny pushes him against the wall.
"Sonny's orders," the Irishman repeats. "Give me your gun and your phone." Then turning slightly he says, "I'm sorry, Elizabeth."
Jason looks over in shock and Johnny takes advantage of his distraction and quickly relieves him of his gun and cell phone. Once he has the items in hand, he steps back. "I'll be back when you call."
Then he's gone and the car's engine soon roars to live. Then there's nothing but silence as Jason and I continue to stare at each other. I wasn't expecting Johnny to be so forceful and I hope Jason doesn't think I asked him to do that. "Jason?" I finally say.
The sound of my voice apparently spurs him into action because the next thing I know he's outside screaming in the night for Johnny to come back. I step into the doorway, careful not to make any sudden movements. "Jason, he's gone. He won't come back until I call him."
"What did you do?" he demands as he spins around. "Did you turn my friends against me?"
"No," I shake my head, my eyes threatening to fill with tears. "They're helping you."
"Helping me?" he scoffs, his feet braced apart, his arms crossed over his chest. "That's rich, Elizabeth."
"They're concerned about you, just like I am." I hadn't meant to have this conversation like this, but this may be the only chance I get so I've got to seize the opportunity.
"So you ambush me, bring me out here, and what?" his arms fly upwards, "tell me how disappointed you are? Thanks, but I'll pass."
"I'm not disappointed in you," I say as he turns and starts to walk away. "I'm concerned. About you and how much you're drinking. It's killing you...and it's killing us."
He slows and then stops, but doesn't turn around. Pressing on I plead, "All I ask is that you listen, Jason. Just honestly listen. I'm not running away without talking to you first. Once we've talked, if you want to leave and have nothing else to do with me, then I'll call Johnny and that'll be it."
Turning he crosses his arms over his chest. "After I listen you'll call Johnny and you'll leave me alone?"
"If you honestly listen," I promise. "But can we not have this conversation outside where you look like you're ready to run at any second?"
"Fine," he agrees curtly, and starts back to the cabin. I turn and head inside, switching on more lights. I hope to show him that I won't pressure him and that I trust him by not standing in the doorway. I also want to get inside so that there's less chance of Francis and Johnny stepping forward thinking they need to intervene.
The door slams shut after he steps inside and I flinch, then roll my shoulders trying to relieve the tension that's been present since Sonny told me he'd help. Turning to face him, I wipe my palms on my jeans. He gives me a pointed look, and I blow out a slow breath. He doesn't have the look of a man who's going to really listen, so I know I just have to try extra hard to get through to him without alienating him completely.
"I love you, Jason," I begin, "but your drinking is out of control. Everyone knows it. You know it, which is why you moved out."
"No, I moved out because I got sick of everyone looking down their noses at me. Especially you."
"What happened, Jason? Three months ago you left for a job and you came home and turned into a drunk."
"I'm not a drunk," he growls.
"Yes, you are! You just don't want to see it. I tried to get you to talk, I tried leaving you alone, I've tried to do anything to make you happy so you wouldn't have to turn to the bottle."
"Well stop trying!"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Well forget it," I tell him and I think it surprises him. "Not until you tell me you want the liquor more than you want me."
"What?"
"I walked away before without asking you if you wanted Carly. So I'm asking you now. Do you want the booze more than me? Were you lying to me down in St. Louis?"
"I have never lied to you," he says indignantly.
"So you just changed your mind?" I try again. "You said you wanted a family with me, that you wanted a future. Did you change your mind? Is that why you walked out?"
He takes a step back and his face seems to have lost some of the edge he had and I hope this means he's actually listening. "Just tell me yes or no, Jason. Because until you tell me to leave, that we're over, I will not give up on you. It's your decision, Jason, just like it's your decision to keep drinking."
"Ah," he says scornfully, his face closing up again, "here's the ultimatum. If I want to be with you I have to stop drinking."
"If you want to live with me you have to stop drinking," I shake my head. "Even if we don't live together I will still care about you, I will still love you and I will want to help you. But if you tell me goodbye, and to leave you alone, then I'll know it's over and I'll find a new place to live."
He stands there silent for a moment, and my heart is racing in my chest. I have no idea if anything I said to him got through. My stomach is doing nervous flips as I wait for him to say something, anything, and then he moves. He crosses the room until he's right in front of me, his clothes and his breath carrying the smell of stale liquor. "Leave me alone, Elizabeth. I like drinking, and I'm sick of seeing your tears every time I take a drink. Now call Johnny so I can get out of here and never have to see you anymore."
He stalks to the door and doesn't even look back. When the door closes I sink to the floor with silent tears of defeat and disappointment streaming down my face. I tried, and I failed. I refused to walk away, I laid it on the line, and Jason chose the booze over me. I was stronger than Carly, but I wasn't strong enough to beat the pull of the alcohol.
I hoped I could reach him, but it was clear he wasn't ready to hear it yet. Now I know, and now I can make my plans for the future. If Jason didn't want to change for himself or our future, then I wasn't going to tell him about the baby tonight. He may later claim I wasn't fair to him by keeping it from him, but my focus shifted tonight. A baby isn't a band-aid and I'm not going to use this baby to fix Jason. It wouldn't be fair to the baby, especially when Jason probably wouldn't really change.
I wrote a letter to Jason telling him about the baby, and that I'll keep him informed about my condition and our child, but that I can't be near him right now. If he ever decides to change, I will let him see the baby, be a part of its life. But right now I have to think as a mother and not a lover, and it's not in the baby's best interest for Jason to be near us. I can't handle the stress of his drinking, and I've got to concentrate on taking care of myself for the baby. It's a last ditch effort, I know that. He may change, he may not, but it will take a lot of proof on his part to convince me he's sincere, if he even bothers to acknowledge us at all.
I reach into my pocket and pull out the phone. When Johnny picks up I don't even disguise the tears in my voice. "Come pick him up, Johnny. Give him the letter, and tell Francis I'm going to stay here tonight."
I'm not up for the trip back tonight. I'm not up for much of anything. Not after losing to a whiskey bottle.
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