Previous Page   Next Page

Chapter 19

Friday, December 24, 2004

Jason wasn't sure what he'd find when he opened the door, so he proceeded cautiously. He didn't know what state Elizabeth would be, he didn't know what frame of mind she would possess and he didn't want to see her angry or despondent, but knew it would be likely. And even though he thought himself prepared for anything he encountered, he was still surprised when he swung the door open.

The layout of the room was similar to her old studio, but that was where the similarities ended. The walls were plain, stark white, and the room was virtually bare. There was only a sleeping bag and a pillow in a corner of the room, and paintings supplies in the middle. An easel and a stool, but no shelves, artist tables or any other supplies one would expect; things that had been in her old place. He could tell by the instant tightening of his cheeks that the heat was on, and on a very high setting, but that was the only thing that gave him any amount of comfort. At least she wasn't cold.

Elizabeth sat on the window seat staring out the glass and he didn't know if she was even aware he was there. He closed the door softly behind him, and started across the room slowly. He stopped in the middle floor so he wouldn't startle her and quietly said, "Elizabeth?"

She didn't move, and an unsettled feeling descended upon him. Her look reminded him of how she would get before she broke down and her brother would be forced to sedate her in order to get her to calm down and rest. He hoped a situation like that didn't happen now because he didn't know that he could call her brother to come do that to her. While he understood Steven thought it was necessary, Jason hated every time it happened. Especially after he watched Elizabeth the morning after, and saw her lethargic, almost hung-over stumblings around as the drugs worked out of her system.

With slow steps Jason crossed the room, making sure to get into her line of sight as soon as possible so she wouldn't be completely unawares. She gave no indication that she saw him, and he paused near her feet. He wanted to touch her, to let her know that she wasn't alone, to try to elicit some sign of life from her, but he was afraid of frightening her. He felt trapped by his desire to reach out to her and his fear of having her react badly to his presence.

"Elizabeth?"

He knelt down in front of her and ducked his head to try to catch her gaze. When she still didn't respond he decided to take a chance and reach out to her. He took her hand and she didn't respond for a minute, then slowly she turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were flat and hollow, and while he knew she saw him, it didn't feel like it.

"Elizabeth?"

All the response he received was a twitch of her eyebrow. He took a slight encouragement in the movement and let out a slow breath. What didn't encourage him, though, was the condition of her studio, or the fact that she seemed to be wasting away and there was no food - or signs of take out - in the place. He was going to have to have to fix that.

"Elizabeth, come away from the window, okay?"

She tipped her head to the side, and then slowly her feet slid off the window seat and onto the floor. "Come on," he coaxed her. "Come on."

"I don't want to leave," she whispered raggedly, pulling back slightly.

"We won't," he promised. "You just need to get some sleep, though. Will you do that?"

She nodded mutely as he led her to her sleeping bag - he refused to call it a bed - and helped her lay down. He sat on the floor beside her and held her hand while softly brushing the hair off her face. Surprisingly, it didn't take her very long to fall asleep, he had expected her to try and fight it. Jason suspected she hadn't slept much since she moved in, and he knew she hadn't slept much before then. Waiting until he was sure Elizabeth was asleep and wasn't going to wake up, he let out a sigh and slowly unfolded himself to a standing position.

He had a lot of phone calls to make, and a lot he needed to accomplish.

Carly waited downstairs as Sonny was putting the boys to bed up in their rooms. She had brought them over before dinner so they could spend Christmas Eve with their father and was going to pick them up in the morning in time to make her mother's house for brunch and then presents. The plan was for her to bring the boys and leave, but Michael had begged for her to stay and decorate the tree with them and when she shook her head and declined he'd pleaded with his father until Sonny relented and invited her to stay. It was exactly what she'd hoped would happen tonight.

This was one time she was glad that Michael was constantly trying to get his parents back together. While Carly knew it wasn't going to happen - at least any time soon - she knew Sonny would succumb to the guilt and give into Michael. All she had to do was act like she wasn't fishing for an invitation to stay, and Sonny would believe - or maybe at least pretend to - that Carly hadn't put Michael up to the scheme. She had stayed to the side during the evening, letting Sonny direct the decorating and activities, and did her best to let Sonny have time with his boys.

She'd kissed them goodnight and let Sonny take them upstairs to put them to bed by himself. She said she'd wait for him to finalize the plans for the morning, but in reality she was waiting to strike out. As a door closed upstairs and she heard footsteps approaching the stairs, she stretched out on the couch and sharpened her claws. Carly had gotten an earful from Jason earlier, and now Sonny was going to get the same from her.

She waited for her ex-husband to come downstairs and pour himself a drink before demanding, "What are you thinking?"

He swallowed and turned to glare at her. "What are you talking about?"

Standing, she put her hands on her hips. "I'm talking about helping Sam. Jason is mad. Madder than I've seen him in a long time and if you're not careful he will never forgive you for this. Is some woman really worthy destroying your friendship over?"

"Why not?" he shrugged, his voice holding a bitter laugh. "We nearly destroyed our friendship over you. And that's the problem, isn't it, Carly?"

She glared at him but he just smirked and continued. "You're mad, and you're jealous that I'm helping Sam, Jason's helping Elizabeth, and poor little Carlybabes is left all alone. You're not the center of my, and especially not Jason's, universe anymore and you can't stand it."

"Neither one of them is worth ruining your relationship over," she said with a toss of her head. "Jason is too noble to realize that he's falling into Elizabeth Webber's trap-"

"You mean she's plotting how to utilize her son's death to win Jason back?" he asked incredulously. "Wow, she's more calculating and diabolical than you."

Carly narrowed her eyes. That had been Jason's reaction as well when she made her claim, except he was angrier. "Since Jason obviously cannot be counted on to act rationally around the little twit, you need to do something to prevent him from turning his back on you forever."

Shaking his head, Sonny chuckled humorlessly. "You mean that I need to stop helping Sam. Because if I stop, Jason will forgive me and then he'll stop spending time with Elizabeth. Do you really think it's that simple?"

"Why not?"

"Because even if I turned my back on Sam, that doesn't mean Jason will turn his back on Elizabeth."

"He's just helping her to spite you," she shook her head.

Sonny tossed back his drink and turned to pour another one. "You really are delusional," he laughed. "Jason's devotion to Elizabeth is not about getting back at me. And if you try to come between them you may not like what happens."

Carly already didn't like what had happened. That was why she'd come to Sonny, but obviously her ex-husband was determined to stand by the home-wrecking tramp regardless of what happened to their family.

"So you're determined to help Sam? Regardless of the fact that she kidnapped Elizabeth's son and got him so sick he died?" she challenged, changing tactics when she heard something, someone, moving around upstairs. "You would defend a person who did the same thing Tony Jones did to Michael and is now trying to use his same defense? You're willing to show your sons that you're a hypocrite? Michael already doesn't like Sam, so why don't you explain to him that you're defending her when Uncle Jason demanded that the man who kidnapped Michael be punished."

"That's emotional blackmail, Carly," Sonny ground out.

"No, I'm trying to open your eyes," she shot back. "Jason moved Heaven and Earth to find Michael when Tony kidnapped him. And he broke Tony's hand and would have killed him if it hadn't been for Saint Robin. Now you're acting exactly like the people who testified for Tony and said that he shouldn't be punished for kidnapping Michael."

She glanced out of the corner of her eye up at the stairs and saw the wide, confused eyes of her son standing on the landing. "Why don't you explain to Michael how Uncle Jason hasn't changed, but you have?"

"Daddy? Mommy?"

Sonny whirled around to face Michael, shock clear on his face, and Carly took the opportunity to walk out of the penthouse. Maybe it had been wrong of her, but she was sick of Sonny's hypocrisy. Let Michael realize that his father was flawed and imperfect; she was done making excuses for him. Maybe the innocence of a child would make Sonny re-evaluate his actions.

"Daddy?"

Sonny seethed as he heard the door close behind him and he knew that Carly had left. Snuck out like a coward after inflicting her damage and expecting him to fix it. Typical of his ex-wife. Make a mess and have someone else clean it up. He was angry, but right now he had to deal with Michael who looked very confused.

"Michael," he said softly as he held out his hand and moved towards the couch. "Come sit down."

"What did Mommy mean?" his son asked as he skirted around the back of the couch and stopped at the opposite end away from Sonny. Almost as if he was afraid to come any closer; Sonny hated the way his son was suddenly looking at him. "Why is Uncle Jason mad at you?"

"Uncle Jason and I don't agree about something right now. It doesn't mean he's angry at me."

"That's not what Mommy says," the boy persisted.

Yeah, well Mommy says a lot.

"And when I asked him why you hadn't been by to see me and Morgan, he looked angry," he continued.

Guilt pricked at the father as he heard the sadness in Michael's voice. He hadn't been by to see his sons very often, and for his son to ask Jason why he hadn't, it hurt. He'd been focused on Sam and avoiding Jason, but he hadn't meant to neglect his family. "I'm sorry, Michael. I've been busy lately."

"With Sam," the boy said disapprovingly. "I don't like her."

"She's having a difficult time right now," he said gently, trying to make his son understand. "Her baby died and she-"

"She stole someone else's baby," Michael cut in with brutal honesty. "Like someone stole me from Mommy and Uncle Jason before you became my dad. Are you helping her? Did you help her steal the baby to replace the one that died?"

"No, Michael," he shook his head immediately, his voice firm. "I didn't help her. I wouldn't take a baby from his mom or dad."

"But Sam did."

"She's sick, Michael. Sometimes people get sick in their minds and they do things that are wrong because they can't stop themselves."

"If she was wrong, then why are you helping her?" Michael pressed. "Mommy said people helped the man who stole me and that made her and Uncle Jason mad."

"This is different," Sonny tried to explain to his son who seemed determined to believe Carly and wouldn't really listen to him.

"How?" he asked. "Whose baby did she steal? Does the person not matter to us? Is she an enemy and that makes it okay?"

Sonny leaned back slightly and blinked. Had he really taught Michael about enemies and the concept that some people didn't matter and it was okay for the things that happened to them? "The mother," he said softly, a bit hoarse, "she's...she's not an enemy. She's Uncle Jason's friend."

"So he's helping her like you're helping Sam?" the boy asked. "I can see why he's mad. Aren't Uncle Jason's friends your friends, too?"

"I know the mother," Sonny admitted softly. "And she was my friend."

Michael was quiet and curled up in the corner of the couch, looking much younger than ever with his pale face and large eyes. "If she was your friend, then aren't you hurting her? Or does Sam mean more than her and Uncle Jason?"

He imagined he was hurting Elizabeth very much. He could remember her face at the funeral, lined with pain and her body looking so frail and fragile. That pain had changed into shock and even anger when she saw him, but he had barely seen it then. Because he was so focused on seeing her, he hadn't really seen what his presence was doing to her.

"Is that why you're helping Sam?" his son asked again. "Is she more important?"

"It's not that Sam's more important," Sonny tried to explain.

"But you're helping her, so she must be. And that makes Uncle Jason mad, doesn't it?"

"Yes," he breathed out. "Uncle Jason is upset."

"Is Sam more important than Uncle Jason?" the boy questioned quietly, and Sonny could hear the faint fear and disapproval in his voice.

"It's not that simple," he replied, wincing when he heard his voice snap with exasperation over the boy's questions. "It's not black and white, Michael. It's a complicated situation."

Michael stood and wouldn't look at him as he walked back around the couch, inching towards the stairs. "I'm going up to my room. Can I call Mommy? I want to go home after Morgan wakes up in the morning."

He didn't wait for Sonny to respond, didn't say goodnight before running up the stairs. And all Sonny could do was watch him go and feel like his son was incredibly disappointed in him. It left a very bitter taste in his mouth.

Chapter 20

Saturday, December 25, 2004

She was in a bed.

It was soft and warm and it confused Elizabeth when she woke up. Was she at her grandmother's? No, she had moved out of her gram's and into a new studio. But she didn't have a bed. So...where was she?

Sitting up, she pushed her hair off her face and looked around in the pale, early morning light. The brick wall to her left looked like the outside wall of her studio, but it didn't fit with the fact that she was in a bed. Had she lost her mind? Was she hallucinating? She braced her elbows on her knees and wondered what was happening.

She slipped out of bed and walked to the end of it where she peaked around the silk and wood screens that separated her from the rest of the room. She was in her studio. But it certainly didn't look like this yesterday. There was a bed along with a bureau and armoire behind the screen which made her bedroom. On the other side of the screens lay a transformed world. Shelves and a table were waiting to be assembled, and bags from an art store lined the wall. And there on a new, long couch Jason laid sound asleep.

"Jason?"

He sat up immediately with a start and his jacket slid off him to the ground. "Elizabeth? Are you okay?"

"Jason, what...what's going on?" she asked as she looked around and practically clung to the edge of the screen. "Did you... You did all this?"

"I did," he admitted, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Why?" Elizabeth was confused by everything going on and it was the only thing she could think to say.

Jason stood and slowly crossed the room to where she stood. He took her arm and led her to the couch where he made her sit down. Pulling a blanket off the back of the couch, he tucked it around her legs. As he crouched down before her, he looked up through the curtain of hair which had fallen forward over her face. "When's the last time you ate something, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth regarded him with confusion and he nodded. "That's what I thought. Stay here."

Standing, he walked over to a small table near the sink and she followed his movements for a little bit, before looking around. "Jason? Why did you do all this? I...I can't pay for this."

"I don't expect you to, but since I know you'll insist on paying me back we'll work out a deal." He turned and pierced her with a strong look. "Later. You're not in any condition to do anything right now. That is what we're taking care of first. Everything else...later."

A few minutes afterwards, he returned with a cup of hot chocolate and a plate of soft scrambled eggs and toast. "Here," he said softly, handing her the plate. "Eat what you can, but don't make yourself sick."

"Jason?" she questioned again, her eyes drawn down in confusion.

He shook his head and pointed at the plate. "Just eat right now, Elizabeth."

She knew when he got like this, he would remain firm in his stubbornness. As the smell of the food drifted up towards her Elizabeth realized she was hungry and she was too tired to try and argue with him. So she picked up her fork and began to eat small bites. Not even halfway through the plate she began to slow down, and was grateful when Jason didn't push her to finish all the food. Instead, he just took the plate when she set it aside on the cushion next to her and carried it over to the sink.

Wrapped in the warm blanket, the food began to make her tired. She hadn't been eating, and now that she had, all she wanted to do was curl up and go back to sleep. Shifting onto her side, her eyelids fluttered, and before Jason was done running the water she was asleep again.

Merry Christmas.

As Steven sat in the living room drinking black coffee with salt, and wishing he wasn't at his grandmother's house so he could lace it with some form of alcohol - anything, he scoffed at the thought when it entered his head. Christmas. Peace on earth, good will toward men and all that crap. He didn't feel holly jolly towards anyone and he certainly didn't care that there was snow on the ground this morning. None of the season's entrapments held any appeal for him. Not with Cameron dead and his sister moved out to who knew where.

He and their grandmother hadn't been able to locate Elizabeth, so yesterday she called Jason Morgan for help. It went against his principles and he couldn't believe that his grandmother had gone to a criminal instead of asking to see if John Durant could help them. Even though a part of him understood why she'd asked Jason, he was still bothered by it. Jason would look for Elizabeth because he was concerned about her as a friend; he wouldn't ask for concessions or try to make political hay like Durant would. But it still bugged him.

But they hadn't heard from Morgan since he left yesterday afternoon and so Steven was left with thoughts no one should have this early in the morning. All he really had to focus on was the Christmas tree Audrey had put up one day while needing something to distract herself while Cameron was in the hospital fighting for his life. After the funeral, their grandmother silently replaced the star on the top of the tree with a cherubic little angel with brown curls. Elizabeth had sat in front of the tree on the ground and cried when she saw it.

He looked up when he heard footsteps and Steven saw his grandmother come slowly down the stairs. "Good morning, Gram."

"Good morning, Steven," she replied tiredly.

She sat on the couch beside him and sighed into the stillness, her gaze following his own. "I wish she was here. Maybe I shouldn't have replaced the star. I just...I saw this angel and I thought about Cameron and I..."

Reaching over, he took her hand when she broke off into a quiet sniffle. "I know why you got it, and I don't think it was the angel that made Elizabeth leave. It was everything. This is where she lived with Cameron and the memories probably overwhelmed her. She had to get away from them."

"I'm just so worried about her, Steven," their grandmother sniffled again.

He put his arm around her and squeezed her close. "I know. I'm worried about her, too. But Jason will find her. He'll find her and he'll help her."

She nodded silently. "Yes, I know."

The phone rang, startling them as it shattered the oppressive silence. His grandmother scrambled across the couch to reach for it. "Hello?"

"Jason?" she burst out and Steven anxiously sat up. "Did you find Elizabeth?"

She sagged in relief as a breath escaped her lips and he closed his eyes figuring it was a positive response. Jason had found his sister. There had never really been any doubt in Steven's mind, but he was flooded with relief to know that the other man had.

"Where is she?" His grandmother listened and then sighed quietly. "Alright, Jason, we understand. Please just take care of her, and...and ask her to call us if she would."

She hung up and Steven quickly asked, "Well?"

"She's at a different studio, but in her old building. Jason is taking care of her. Getting her to eat and sleep. He'll try and get her to call, but she's pretty out of it right now."

That wasn't the best of news, but the fact that she was found and being taken care of...it made it good enough for now. Maybe this day would have a little Christmas cheer after all.

Bobbie laughed as Lucas raced upstairs with his Christmas presents, leaving a messing of wrapping paper and tape behind. He may be a teenager now, but in many way he still reminded her of a little boy. It warmed her heart, today most of all, to see him laughing and enjoying himself. Yet she couldn't entirely shake the heaviness in her heart that was there because of Elizabeth.

When Jason had called her last night and told her about Elizabeth moving out of Audrey's house and the condition of the studio she was living in, Bobbie had been stunned. She knew that the young woman had not been handling Cameron's death very well, that wasn't really a surprise because the nurse and mother who had lost a child of her own hadn't expected Elizabeth to be cheerful or bounce back quickly. But it had surprised her a bit to hear the depth of Elizabeth's depression. When Jason told her he didn't see any sign of food and said how pale and thin Elizabeth looked, Bobbie immediately got into action.

She urged Jason to get a mini-refrigerator and at least a microwave; she wouldn't be surprised if the young man got that and more. Bobbie had cooked up some food that would be nutritious and easy to digest, as well as easy to heat up. After Elizabeth got used to eating again, she'd give Jason some different recipes. When she got the food prepared, two of Jason's men had come by to pick it up along with some notes she'd written for Jason and Elizabeth.

Worried about the young woman and how she was doing this morning, Bobbie picked up the phone and dialed Jason's number, hoping she didn't wake them. Bobbie also hoped that Carly didn't show up early. After hearing a brief sanitized version from Jason abut her daughter's attack on him yesterday regarding Elizabeth she wasn't at all pleased with the blonde.

"Hello?"

"Jason? Hi, it's Bobbie," she said. "I was calling to see how Elizabeth was doing this morning and if you needed anything."

"She's asleep again," he said quietly. "She ate some breakfast after she got up, but she fell asleep again afterwards."

"That's okay," she told him. "I doubt she's slept much lately or eaten. It's okay if she sleeps. It's better that she sleeps on her own as opposed to being sedated. If you need anything, any help with her, please call me if you think she wouldn't want Audrey to come. I'm here for the both of you."

"I will, Bobbie. Thank you for all your help last night."

"You're welcome, Jason," she smiled into the phone. "Take care of her and yourself. I'll talk to you later."

She hung up the phone and leaned back against the couch feeling slightly better. Elizabeth was eating and resting and while she knew it wouldn't get better overnight, it was a good sign. And Bobbie knew that with Jason around, she would get the help she needed.

About three hours after breakfast, Elizabeth stirred and began to wake up. Jason could hear her moving around behind the screen; he'd moved her back to her bed so that she'd be more comfortable and be able to sleep easier. He closed his book and stood up, twisting his back and neck to work out the stiffness. The movement behind the screen stopped, but Jason could tell by the sound of her breathing that Elizabeth was awake. Time to see how she would respond to him now.

"Elizabeth?" he called out softly. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," she replied groggily, her voice thick.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," she said a bit wearily. "Come in."

He stepped around the screen, feeling suddenly awkward even though he'd helped set up her bed and furniture and put her into the bed twice. Maybe it was because she'd seemed so disoriented when she woke up earlier and he was unsure of how she would react now. She hadn't been very thrilled by his purchases, and he'd known when he made them that she wouldn't be but he'd done it anyway. If she insisted on paying him back, he'd make arrangements with her. But he'd try to convince her to accept the items as gifts. For now though, he just wanted to see how she was doing.

"Hey," he said with a small, lopsided smile. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better, I think," she said as she pushed herself up against the headboard. "I can't remember when I last ate. I think I was a little confused before."

"Bobbie said that was possible," he nodded as he leaned his thigh against the footboard. "Are you hungry for some lunch?"

She shook her head. "Not right now. Jason, sit. It hurts my neck to look up at you all the time."

He sat down on the end of the bed where she'd gestured and silently waited. She looked like she had something she wanted to say, and he was going to let her take her time and not rush her. As she tucked her hair behind her ear, she tipped her head to the side and regarded him. "Jason, what's going on? I woke up to a roomful of furniture that wasn't here yesterday. Would you please explain?"

"You weren't taking care of yourself," he said, refusing to treat her with kid gloves. She hated when people did that to her, and he thought it was time someone was a bit blunt with her instead of always treading lightly so they didn't upset her. "You weren't eating and you were sleeping on the ground."

"That was my choice," she snapped at him.

"Yes it was. But when I was getting a refrigerator and things for a small kitchen, I just decided to get some other things. There wasn't any place to sit down and I figured if I was going to be here for a while that I'd like to sit, and possibly sleep, on something other than the ground. And I decided that instead of getting two couches, I'd get a bed for you."

"Why are you doing this?" Elizabeth persisted.

"Do you remember when I was shot?" he asked her.

She silently nodded her head a fraction.

"Do you remember that I told you to leave, that I would take care of myself? You refused to listen to me and you brought me to your studio because you knew that I needed help no matter what I said." He raised his brow pointedly at her and said honestly, "You need my help, Elizabeth. You're not sleeping or eating. Now, I'm not going to tell you how many hours to sleep or to clean your plate, but I am going to make sure you stay healthy and that you stay alive. You may fight me like I fought you, but like you I won't give up or go away just because you want me to."

"I don't want pity from you, Jason."

"It's friendship," he told her. "I'm not going to tell you to go back to your grandmother's house if that's not what you want. I'm merely helping out a friend, but don't think I'm going to go away."

She shook her head, but a small grin - a very real one - graced her lips briefly and she nodded. Jason didn't expect her to never fight him again on this, but at least the fight didn't happen right now. Maybe it would come after lunch when he suggested she call her grandmother just so Audrey didn't worry. For now, he was going to savor her smile.

Chapter 21

Sam's face fell when she walked into the interrogation room and saw her lawyer waiting for her. Every time she was brought up from her cell because she had a visitor, she always hoped it would be Jason. She was sure he would realize that she'd done all of this for them and eventually he'd forgive her, and then he'd help her. But he'd only visited her that one day and had never returned. She never stopped hoping, though.

At least Sonny came by to visit her every day. The police were sticklers for procedure and never let him stay as long as either one of them would like, but she was grateful that he came. But he hadn't been to the jail since last Friday and she was hoping that he'd come soon. She was not happy that he hadn't been by, and that he hadn't come to her arraignment yesterday. The frosty, obviously hateful ADA had actually amended the arresting charges of kidnapping and child endangerment to include murder as well. Sam would never get bail now. Her lawyer said it would be pointless to continue trying, especially considering that she'd been spirited away when she was suspected of murder several months ago.

"Ms. McCall," Robert Hartwell smiled brief and tersely at her. She didn't really like the lawyer Sonny had hired, but he'd assured her the man was one of the best around. "Have a seat."

"I'm surprised to see you," she said a bit snippily. "After yesterday I figured you'd be too busy working on my defense."

"That's why I'm here, Ms. McCall," he explained. "I spoke with Mr. Corinthos after yesterday's arraignment and we discussed your case."

Sam leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "Oh, really? And what exactly did you and Sonny discuss?"

"We think you should consider changing your plea," he replied simply.

"To guilty?" she scoffed. "Forget it."

He shook his head. "To guilty by insanity. You wouldn't be sent to prison, you would get treatment in a facility."

"Insanity?" she raised her eyebrows dangerously. "You think I'm mental? I'm not crazy."

"Mr. Corinthos feels it may be your best chance."

"My best chance?" she echoed lamely. "My best chance for what?"

"To avoid going to jail."

The lawyer's no nonsense and emotionless answers were really irritating and she could feel her temper rising. "If Sonny wants to keep me out of jail then perhaps you and he had better work a little harder."

She stood and paced to the door. "Do your job, Mr. Hartwell, and clear me of these charges. And if you speak to Sonny, you tell him I want to see him. If he's going to plan my life, then he at least owes me the courtesy of seeing me."

She banged on the door until the guard unlocked it and opened it. "I want to go back to my cell."

As she was led back downstairs, she fumed. How dare these men try to plan her life like this and tell her what to do. She hated being in jail and she wasn't going to voluntarily agree to spend more time locked up. If Sonny was abandoning her, then she would know what to do. And she would make him pay for it.

Sonny sat in the visitor's room waiting for the guard to bring in Sam, and slowly took some deep breaths to keep him focused. He'd been annoyed, but not surprised, when Hartwell stopped by and said that Sam wanted to see him. She hadn't taken the suggestion of the plea change nicely, and had in fact become rather angry. He knew she would react this way, even though he'd hoped otherwise.

Ever since Christmas Eve, he had been thinking a lot about this case. Michael had followed through on his threat and called Carly, asking her to come get him and Morgan early on Christmas morning. Sonny had been surprised when she didn't, until he realized that the longer Michael stayed there the more sullen and withdrawn from him the boy became. His ex-wife didn't say anything about their talk, the phone call, or Michael's mood when she finally showed up. Instead, she just collected their children and left.

And he was left alone to think about his behavior. Jason, Carly, and then Michael had all likened Sam to Tony Jones and Cameron Webber to Michael. Had Sonny really become the people who had helped get Tony leniency? He knew Elizabeth was hurt, and had to try and put her life back together after losing her child, but he hadn't really thought much about her. Adella had never cried or crawled or laughed at him and Sam, and while he missed the little girl and the chances he never got with her, and mourned her death, he knew it in no way compared to what Elizabeth was going through. Because she had laughed with her child and had watched him start to grow.

The door opened and Sam came through, looking much like Michael had when he left Christmas day. She was glaring at him, her hair falling sullenly in her face the entire time the police officer led her in and adjusted her handcuffs. When the officer left, she dropped into the chair across from him. "Nice of you to show up."

"Hartwell said you wanted to see me," he said. "He mentioned you were unhappy about the plea suggestion."

"I am not crazy," she snapped at him.

"Sam," he sighed and then leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the table. "You need to face the facts. Jason and the guard are going to testify against you. Jason's going to talk about you saying you were going to Hawaii, but instead broke into one of our safe houses and stayed there with Cameron. You dressed up like Elizabeth and signed her son out of the hospital's daycare, all the while making sure your face never showed up on the security cameras. You planned it out carefully."

"If I planned it out so carefully, then how would we say I was crazy?" she challenged him.

"We'll claim it was post-partum depression," he shrugged. "Or just depression, but they maybe would more likely believe post-partum. You hanging around the hospital nursery all the time could help out. The point is, if you go on trial with nothing other than your claim of innocence, you'll be convicted."

"Can't you fix it?" she asked. "Bribe the jury or the judge?"

He had been dreading this question these past few days, even these past weeks since Sam was arrested. He knew that if he tried to fix the trial, that not only would the police be investigating him and doing all they could to convict him, but that Jason would oppose him. Because he'd taught Jason the business, Sonny feared what Jason would do to ensure Sam's conviction. He could bribe the jury to convict, even if Sonny also tried to bribe them. Jason had the money, and would spend whatever he had - even almost all of his personal wealth which Sonny knew was substantial - to get what he wanted.

And if he decided to fight Sonny, Jason could cause a lot of problems with the business. The families would see that he was fighting with his lieutenant and swoop in to try to dismantle his territory. They would perceive him as weak and ripe for a take over. Was it worth risking the possibility for Sam? Especially when he knew that Sam was guilty?

"I'm not going to fix the trial for you, Sam," he said softly as he shook his head.

"What?!" she exploded.

"That's why I want you to claim post-partum. We can get a psychiatrist, a leader in the field, to testify for you, say that you were sick. We'll do everything we can for you," he promised.

"Except get me off," she accused him. "You're throwing me to the wolves."

"I'm trying to keep you from going to prison, from possibly getting death if the ADA gets ambitious. We'll make sure you get put in the best facility in the state, won't even seem like a prison. Almost like a resort."

"I am not going to a mental institution," Sam declared emphatically. "You're the crazy one if you think I'm doing that."

"I'm sorry, Sam," he sighed.

She huffed and glared at him. "So am I. Sorry I ever thought you would help me."

He knew Sam was angry and frightened, and he felt obligated to help her because she was Adella's mother, but he wasn't going to jeopardize his empire. Not when he would try and get her into the best institution available and get her the best doctors there. He would even make sure she wasn't medicated, just had the appearance of it. He would do everything in his power to convince everyone she was temporarily insane, crazy with grief over their daughter, and then she'd better after she'd been in the hospital for a while and she could be released.

"If you don't help me I'll tell them you were in on it," she leaned forward and hissed at him.

Sonny gave a short bark of laughter and leaned back. "Are you really threatening me?"

His face turned deadly serious as he leaned forward once more. "Listen to me, Sam. Better people than you have tried to threaten or blackmail me. I'm offering you a good deal; I suggest you take it. Cross me, and I'll cease paying for your lawyer. See how well you do with a public defender 'cause you know Jason won't help you out."

He stood and buttoned his jacket decisively. "Think it over, Sam."

Then he turned and walked out. He wasn't going to be blackmailed by her. Not when he was offering the best thing he could to keep her out of jail. He couldn't turn his back on her completely, but he couldn't help her get off scot-free. Not after finally realizing what people were trying to tell him, and realizing what he could lose.

She didn't exactly know how it had happened, she certainly hadn't planned for this to occur, but it seemed that she was once again living with Jason Morgan. How did her life always seem to end up back at this point?

Ever since waking up on Christmas morning, Jason had been firmly in her life. He told her she needed someone to help her, not because she was weak or incapable, but because she was honestly not in the best position to care for herself. And as her friend, he was going to help her out. Just like she had helped him out five years ago when she found him bleeding in the snow.

He didn't push her, he was simply there. He made sure she ate, but didn't insist she clean her plate or eat all her vegetables. He encouraged to head off to bed when she became fuzzy or muddled and refused to listen to her body. He held her when she broke down and cried, but respected the times when she didn't want to be touched or comforted. Most of all though, his presence helped and calmed her as she spent hours staring out the window remembering her time with Cameron and thinking about what to do in the future.

When he had to go in to the warehouse today she was grateful that he didn't treat her as if she would fall apart if she was alone, even though he could see he was worried about her. So she wasn't even annoyed when he looked relieved when she told him she would call and invite her grandmother to come over, and then proceeded to do it immediately so that he wouldn't think she was just saying it. He cared about her, but he wasn't smothering her. It meant a great deal to her and helped more than she could put into words.

If only her grandmother had the same instincts about her that Jason had. The visit had been good, but decidedly strained. Her gram seemed a bit unsettled from the moment she stepped inside and Elizabeth explained that Jason had purchased the furniture - but she was paying him back - and was staying there, to hiding her hurt admirably when she went to put away the food she'd brought over for Elizabeth, only to discover the refrigerator already filled with containers with meals from Bobbie had dropped off a couple of days ago. She knew that her grandmother was a little hurt that she'd apparently accepted help from Bobbie before her.

The tension escalated, though, when Elizabeth announced her intentions to leave the nursing program. She'd already missed so much of the last semester that she had an incomplete, and she didn't know if she would ever be able to go back to work at the place where so much had occurred with Cameron. Her gram had encouraged her not to make any firm decisions at the moment, but to sit out the spring semester and then decide about next fall during the summer. Elizabeth agreed to think about it, but expressed her doubt that anything would change. She had entered nursing because she felt she needed to be practical for Cameron's sake and support him. That simply wasn't the case now.

Jason had also suggested she take her time about making decisions, but he'd suggested she paint if that's what she felt like doing. Even if she never showed anyone the paintings, he said it might be a good release for all her emotions since it had once helped her before. As she stood in front of her easel, she realized that once again he was right. It felt good to put brush to canvas, even if she didn't know exactly what she was creating at the moment.

Gradually, though, things began to take shape and she could see in her mind where it was going. Unfortunately, there was a big brush of paint right where she needed fine, delicate lines and light color. So she could either start over, or attempt to scrape off the midnight blue. Picking up her artist's knife, she applied the tool as she'd been taught and watched as the color began to come off.

Then, the knife slipped out of her grasp and sliced through her hand. She gasped and jerked her hand back, and watched as the knife fell to the floor. Drawing her gaze back to her hand, Elizabeth watched as crimson flowed up and over the walls of the cut and quickly spread out across her pale palm. She thought it was odd that she didn't feel any pain. Her mind wondered where it was, receptors in her brain were telling her that it should be there, yet it wasn't. She flexed her palm, opening her hand wide and watched as the blood flowed freer.

There!

She flexed her palm again, opening the wound as wide as she could and felt a ripple of pain. Oddly, she felt relief. She wasn't completely broken and numb; she wasn't filled with ice. She could feel. She closed her palm and then immediately, almost recklessly, opened it wide and smiled when a sting zinged through her hand and up her arm. She was feeling something. She really was alive.

"Elizabeth!"

Jason's harsh voice snapped through the fog in her brain and she blinked as she looked up at him. "Elizabeth, what happened?!"

He pressed a rag to her hand and frowned as he wrapped an arm around her. "Come on."

Opening the door he shouted at a guard standing in the hallway. "Get the car; we're going to the hospital."

"No!" she screamed and tore herself out of his arm. He turned and looked at her in confusion but she backed away from him. "No! I'm not going to the hospital. You can't make me go. You can't make me…please don't take me there."

Chapter 22

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

As Elizabeth pulled back from him, frantic and desperate, pleading with him not to take her to the hospital, Jason knew that he could force her but it would just make things worse. Immediately sensing that her insistence was deep-seated and she wasn't going to budge, he stopped. He stepped back from the door and changed direction, back into the studio.

"Okay, Elizabeth," he said, his voice calm, even though he felt frantic inside. "We won't go to the hospital. But your hand needs to be looked at."

"I have a first aid kit," she told him, her voice flat and hollow.

He looked down at the blood rapidly soaking through the rag he'd wrapped around her hand and knew it would need more than just gauze and tape. He helped her sit down on her couch and pulled his cell phone out of his jacket. Punching in a number, he hoped the man picked up quickly so he could focus on Elizabeth. She was less frantic, but he was still worried about her. Not just physically, but emotionally.

When the doctor he and Sonny had kept on their payroll for years answered, Jason immediately ordered him to come to Elizabeth's studio. He gave the man the address and made it clear that he expected the doctor to arrive quickly. The doctor didn't work at a hospital; he didn't have a practice to keep him busy, and he was paid well to be at the organization's beck and call. For emergencies just like this. Once the order was issued and the situation explained, Jason hung up the phone and turned his full attention to Elizabeth.

"Someone will be here soon," he promised her. "He'll help you. Can…can you tell me what happened?"

"The knife slipped," she recited blankly. He looked over at the painting she'd been standing in front of and saw her artist's knife lying on the floor, her blood surrounding it.

"You were painting?"

She nodded jerkily, but was looking at him now. She wasn't focused on the blood-soaked cloth anymore. "A-after my gram left."

"And the knife slipped in your hand. Okay," he assured her. "We'll get you taken care of. Our doctor will be here soon and you're going to be alright."

"It didn't hurt," she said, her eyes wide and moist. "The cut...it didn't hurt."

He looked at her curiously, not sure what she was saying, but he felt it was better to keep her talking and not looking at the blood. "I-I knew it should...but there was nothing. That's all I feel sometimes. Just...numb."

It wasn't a new statement from Elizabeth, and now he understood a bit better why she was staring at her bleeding wound instead of doing something about it. She often told him she didn't feel anything. She didn't feel the temperatures, she didn't feel pain, unless they were extreme, and she was sometimes frightened by it. He knew it was the grief, but he wondered how long she would have stood there bleeding if he hadn't come back when he did. And that thought shook him. He hadn't wanted Elizabeth to feel like he was hovering over her, but he knew from now on he was going to have to keep a closer eye on her.

"I know you hurt, Elizabeth, and that it scares you sometimes, but it will get better. I promise you it will," he told her, his voice low and sure. "I know you don't think so right now, but it will."

"It won't," she shook her head, her eyes filled with so much pain that he felt it inside him. He rose up on his knees and tugged her forward, wrapping his arms around her as she began to cry. Her sobs shook the both of them, her grief and her fear so powerful it was nearly overwhelming. "It won't get better. Cameron will always be gone."

"I know," he closed his eyes as he held her. "Nothing can bring him back...but you will find a way to go on. I know you will."

"I won't," she shook her head and struggled against him. "I won't go on...I won't forget him. I-I don't want to forget him. He was my baby...how could I forget my baby?"

"You'll never forget him," he told her, his voice low and rough. "You will always remember him, you'll carry him with you, but you will find a way to go on."

"I don't want to," she cried desperately against him. "How can I go on without him?"

He swallowed and squeezed his eyes against the pain, wishing he knew how to best help her, but knowing that it would just take time. A knock sounded on the door and he looked over as Paul opened it cautiously and looked into the room.

"Doctor Rice is here," the guard announced and opened the door wider when Jason nodded.

The graying, middle-aged man stepped into the room and quietly appraised the scene. Jason shifted onto his feet and Elizabeth clung to his arms as she looked up at him with wide, desperate eyes. "Don't leave."

"I'm not," he assured her as she sat beside her on the couch. "I'm just moving for the doctor."

She looked around, and noticed the other man for the first time. "Doctor?"

"I'm Phil Rice," he said as he moved closer. "Jason said you hurt your hand?"

She nodded shakily, but let the doctor take her injured hand and unwrap the cloth from around it. Jason wanted to wince when he saw the long gash on it that was still oozing blood. Elizabeth looked down at it, but the doctor caught Jason's eye and shook his head. So Jason reached over and tucked her head into his shoulder, not allowing her to look at the blood and the wound.

"You got yourself good," the doctor said as he examined the cut. Jason scowled at the man's statement, but he didn't seem to notice. "But I don't think you got any ligaments. That's a good thing. We'll get you stitched up and take care of and in a couple of weeks you'll be good as before."

He looked up at Jason as he reached for his medical bag. "I'm going to numb her hand so I can stitch it. Make sure she doesn't move it."

Jason understood and nodded his agreement. He tightened his hold around Elizabeth, making sure her gaze wasn't on her hand. As long as she couldn't see it, she was calmer. Jason murmured to her as the doctor prepared the anesthetic and swabbed Elizabeth's hand in preparation. He knew the doctor would take care of her physically, but emotionally, that was going to take longer to help her with.

When Bobbie walked out of the stairwell and turned towards Elizabeth's studio, she was surprised to find two very somber looking guards standing outside the younger woman's apartment. Usually there was only ever one, and sometimes Jason sent them home at night, so seeing two was unusual. As Bobbie got closer, she noticed the men didn't look just somber, they looked worried. Her heart rate, and footsteps, increased and the sandy-haired guard looked up.

"Ms. Spencer."

"Is Elizabeth in?" she asked, her eyebrows lowering.

"Just a minute," he said and knocked on the door. He opened it and softly said, "Bobbie Spencer is here."

He didn't open the door for her to go in, and she frowned. She was worried about what had happened to cause her to be kept out of Elizabeth's place. Jason better get out here soon and tell her what was going on.

Thankfully she didn't have to wait very long before Jason came out, looking weary and worn. She immediately noticed the blood on his shirt, but held her questions because she knew he would tell her what happened. As long as she didn't get pushy with him and flood him with immediate questions.

"Bobbie," he breathed out as he leaned against the wall after the guard closed the door.

"Jason," she replied. "What's going on? Is Elizabeth alright?"

"She cut her hand," he said as he rubbed his thumb across his palm. "Her artist's knife slipped. She didn't want to go to the hospital so I called our doctor."

"How deep was it?" the nurse in her immediately asked, wanting to know if she would need to help take care of the wound.

"Not too deep," Jason told her. "But she needed stitches. She's asleep right now, the doctor gave her some antibiotics and pain killers."

When he pinched the bridge of his nose and his mouth tightened into a firm line, she stepped forward and put her hand on his arm. "Jason?"

"When I walked in she was just staring at her hand...at the blood. She said it was because she feels numb inside...that she couldn't feel the pain at first."

Bobbie sighted softly and closed her eyes, her heart filling with pain. Jason let out a ragged breath and kept going. "She was nearly hysterical when I tried to take her to the hospital. She kept saying she couldn't go on without Cameron. I...I just didn't know how to help her or what to say to her. I've helped Sonny before, but... It kills me when Elizabeth cries."

Her mouth thinned with sympathy and she nodded. "You're a good friend to her, Jason. And you're a good person. You've helped her before, just remember that. And you can help her now just by being there for her, listening to her..." She gave him a little smile. "Just by doing what you do. I know it's hard to see someone you care about in pain. You feel helpless and you don't know how to make it better."

He nodded slightly and she knew that was a big part of this whole moment. Jason felt helpless in regards to Elizabeth, and if there were a few things she's learned about the man before her, he hated feeling helpless. It was akin to weakness and Jason wanted to portray strength at all times. She knew this was a big admission on his part.

Squeezing his arm reassuringly, Bobbie smiled at him. "It's okay if you don't have all the answers. Elizabeth isn't looking for them; she doesn't need you to fix her like she's a motorcycle."

"I know she's not," Jason interjected.

"I know. The point is, she's also not Carly. What she needs most is someone who will just be her friend. She needs someone to be there and let her know she's not alone as she finds her way." Bobbie paused and took a deep breath, thinking back on the time when Jason and Elizabeth first became friends. "Do you remember how she was when you two first got to know each other?"

Jason nodded.

"We all thought Lucky was dead and she was so lost, but none of us could really see it because we either couldn't, or didn't want to. You helped, even if you don't think so, because you listened to her and didn't expect anything from her. That's what she needs now. She needs that kind of friend who will listen to her unconditionally."

The past tugged at her heart as she remembered B.J. and said honestly. "It will be tougher this time because the death of a child is harder than the death of your boyfriend. But she'll find a way to cope with her pain. And you'll understand those days when it crashes down around her, or she seems like she has a set back, because you gave up Michael and never knew if you'd be a part of his life again."

Jason closed his eyes at the mention and she felt for him. "You may not think so, Jason, but you really can help her. Even if it doesn't seem like you're doing much for her."

She fell silent, knowing there wasn't much else to say to Jason. He didn't need it often, but sometimes he needed encouragement. But he didn't need to be patronized. She knew it wouldn't be an easy time for either of them, but she had full faith and confidence that Jason would be able to help Elizabeth. That he might actually be the best person to help her. He had learned how to be a father to Michael when he, and others, weren't sure he could. He would do the same thing now, find a way.

"I know your doctor took care of her and gave you instructions, right?" When he nodded, she dipped her own in response. "But if you have any questions, or want me to take a look at her hand, give me a call."

"Okay," he told her.

"And," she said, "if you or Elizabeth need to talk, you can always call me for that too."

"Thank you, Bobbie," he said, his voice deep and sincere.

She gave him a quick hug, and then released him. "I'll stop by or give you a call in a couple of days. Give my best to Elizabeth and take care of yourself as well. See you, Jason."

"Bye," he echoed as she turned for the stairway.

While she was still worried about Elizabeth, the feeling of dread was abated for the day. She knew that the younger woman was in the very good care of Jason, and he would do all he could for her.

Chapter 23

Friday, December 31, 2004

The door opened and closed softly, and Elizabeth pulled her gaze away from the snowy tableau of the docks and looked over at Jason. His hair was slightly damp still from his shower, and he gave her a quick smile when he saw she was watching him. She gave him a small, fleeting smile and glanced back to the window for only a few seconds before looking back to him. She was relieved to see that he was going about putting his things from his shower away and wasn't watching her like a scientist observing a mouse in a cage. He never did, and it helped her feel more comfortable in her own skin.

She looking down at her hands and picked at the tape holding the edges of the gauze down. The bandage was clean and white; Jason had been doing a good and methodical job of taking care of her wound according to the doctor's instructions. She looked at it during the changes and could tell that while it was long, it wasn't too bad. Jason's doctor had done a good job stitching it, one of the better techniques she'd seen since entering nursing school, and Elizabeth didn't think she'd have too jagged, or noticeable, of a scar when it was all said and done. She was glad that the wound was on her left hand because she could let it rest and not have to move it too much in the course of the day. This would help it heal.

In the three days since she cut her hand, things had been a little strange. At least from her perspective. It had been weird to give full voice to her fears and thoughts that she hadn't really shared with anybody, even Jason, since Cameron had died. She told him about the numbness which seemed to have pervaded her being. When she cut her hand, at times she felt like it had happened to someone else and she was watching the blood from outside her body. She knew that it should hurt, but it barely did, and she knew that she should have been worried about the cut, and yet she hadn't been. She'd been fascinated and mesmerized by the blood; it was almost like watching someone pour paint.

Finally admitting that had allowed her to talk about sometimes she just didn't want to go on. Even though she knew people would tell her she should go on because it would honor Cameron, sometimes she just wanted to join her son. Jason, during all her talks, merely listened to her. He didn't judge her, or tell her she was wrong for what she was feeling; he just let her get it all out all. And when he did speak, it was to tell her he believed in her, that he knew this was hard but he was confident she would find a way to cope with all of this. He didn't patronize her, he didn't overly compare her situation to when he lost Michael, he just let her know that he was there for her and he empathized with her loss.

Footsteps came towards her and she looked up. Jason was carrying the supplies to change her bandage and she shifted on the window seat. Pulling a chair over to her, he set the medical supplies on the floor.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft.

"Hey."

"How are you feeling this morning?"

She shrugged and played with the buttons on her pajamas. "Pretty good. I...slept okay last night."

"I didn't wake you this morning, did I?"

"No," she shook her head with a little smile. This morning, like every morning, Jason woke up before she did. He would move quietly around out in the main part of the studio, start coffee for himself and open the door to get the paper, and the morning information from the guard outside. He didn't eat breakfast, but he would plan out something to make for her whenever she woke up.

He never woke her, just let her sleep as along as she wanted and needed to. With the antibiotics and the pain medication the doctor gave her, along with the mild depression brought on by her grief, she always slept hard through the night and sometimes didn't wake up until after nine. Jason would just be sitting on the couch, going over receipts and paperwork from the warehouse. When she did wake up, he'd start breakfast for her and then head off to get his shower; he never left before she was awake so she wouldn't be alone while she was asleep. She appreciated the fact that he didn't sit there and watch her while she ate.

"No," she said again. "I just woke up a bit earlier this morning."

"Good," he nodded. "I was hoping Paul and I hadn't disturbed you."

She shook her head. "I think I'm just feeling better today."

A small smile passed over his lips. "I'm glad. Are you sure you don't want me to fix you something to eat?"

A secretive smile tugged at her mouth, remembering how he'd been surprised when she woke up earlier than normal this morning and then insisted he head off to get his shower without fixing her something to eat. "I had some yogurt and toast with peanut butter while you were in the shower. I appreciate all the breakfasts you've made me...I just didn't feel like one this morning. I really wasn't that hungry."

"That's fine," he told her. "You know what you can handle. I guess if you're fixing your own food, you really are feeling better."

She smiled at the pleased note in his voice, she did feel somewhat better today. Jason shifted on his chair and leaned forward. "So," he twitched his eyebrows. "Are you ready for me to change your bandage or did you want to get cleaned up first?"

Sighing, she gave a little shrug and held out her hand, but she really didn't feel annoyed. This seemed to just be a little routine they had. "I suppose."

"Okay," he replied, a little chuckle in his throat. "Let's see how it's looking this morning."

As he tenderly, but efficiently, tended to her hand, she alternated between looking at the ugly and angry line on her palm, and the top of Jason's head. Elizabeth winced slightly as he checked the stitches and he quickly apologized. "It's okay," she told him, looking around the room. "What...what's today?"

He paused with the antibiotic cream he was about to apply, and looked up at her. "Today? It's...Friday. New Year's Eve, actually."

"New Year's Eve," she murmured, surprised at the way time seemed to keep marching on around her. "Are you...are you going to do anything tonight?"

He once again peered up at her, his forehead wrinkled slightly. "For New Year's Eve? No," he shook his head. "I hadn't planned to do anything. It's just another night. Did...did you want to do something?"

"No," she shook her head as well. "I would...I would maybe just watch the ball drop. But I probably couldn't even stay awake that late tonight. I was just...I wondered what today was. I've been...I feel like I've been in a fog and I couldn't even remember what today was. That's...that's kind-of scary."

He finished wrapping her hand and held the end tenderly, but didn't reach for the tape yet. "Scary? I suppose. But I also think it's normal given everything you've gone through. Don't read anything into it just because you forgot. But I can get a TV for you if you wanted to watch the stuff tonight."

She frowning slightly, thinking for a moment. Then she shook her head. "No. I...I don't really care about all the music acts and performers just to see a big ball drop."

"Alright," he accepted as he secured the tape on her hand. "There. It's looking pretty good. I don't think you got an infection."

"I don't think so either," she agreed. She took a breath, to ask him what his plans were for the day - she was beginning to feel a bit caged up - when there was a knock on the door.

Paul stuck his head in, looking anxious and serious as his gaze locked on Jason. "Mr. Morgan, could you come out here?"

Jason looked up at Elizabeth and stood. "I'll see what's going on. I'll be right back, okay?"

She nodded, even though she didn't completely feel his assurance. Something had happened that would take him away today, she was certain of it. "Okay."

When the door opened, Jason's eyes narrowed into a lethal glare when he saw Sonny. He looked over at the guard, issuing a silent order, and then he grabbed Sonny's arm and dragged him down the hall. Sonny tried to get free, but Jason wouldn't release him. It wasn't until they were on the landing between floors that Jason stopped.

"What are you doing here?" the younger man hissed. "Why would you show up at Elizabeth's studio?"

Sonny blinked at Jason's vehemence, even though he tried to mask it. He knew that showing up here today wouldn't go over well, but he hadn't expected this kind of reaction. Knowing he would need to diffuse Jason's anger, he smoothed his hands over his tie and softly cleared his throat.

"I came to see you," he answered. "I...I wasn't sure you'd want to see me so I didn't call first."

Jason braced his feet shoulder-width apart and crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you want? You need a job done? I've been getting daily reports, there's no immediate threat, unless something's changed this morning."

"No, I know," he agreed, telling himself not to respond to Jason's anger. "I'm not here about business."

"Good," Jason bit out. "Because I'm not leaving Elizabeth to go on some mindless errand just because you want me to."

Sonny immediately shook his head. "No. I wasn't going to ask you to. That wasn't..."

"Is it something at the warehouse?" Jason challenged. "We have a foreman to deal with things there; I've been doing the books and going over the receipts here."

"I know," he replied. "No, they're fine. I came to talk to you...about Sam."

The younger man's face hardened instantly and he looked ready to leave. Sonny reached out and grabbed his arm. "No, no, just listen. I'm not here to ask you to change your mind. I...I wouldn't do that."

Jason looked suspiciously at him, but he at least no longer was ready to leave. Sonny let out a small breath and relaxed slightly. "I wanted to let you know that I'm not helping her. I told her that. I...I told her she should plead guilty by insanity, that I could make sure she got help at a good facility. She asked me to fix her trial but I told her I wouldn't."

Raising his brow, his friend asked, "You told her that?"

Sonny didn't bristle at the disbelief in Jason's voice. Instead, he nodded. "I did. I...I realized what I was doing. She was the mother of my child and I felt guilty that I wasn't there for her, that I'd left her care to you while I was off with Carly. I felt that I owed her because her daughter died while my daughter with Alexis lived. I let my guilt blind me to what was really going on...especially with Elizabeth."

"So she's changing her plea?" Jason asked.

He sighed somewhat regretfully. "I don't know. When I talked to her, told her she should change it, she said she wouldn't. She said she wasn't crazy. She threatened to say I was her accomplice in this. I told her I'd take away the money for the lawyer if she tried that."

Scrubbing his hand over his face, Sonny shrugged. "I don't know what she's going to do to. But I wanted to let you know what I told her and that I wouldn't fix the trial for her. She...

"She needs help, Jason," he couldn't help but plead because he didn't know what the other man would do. He knew Jason was angry at Sam and would do anything for Elizabeth. "She needs help...even if she doesn't think she does."

Jason was quiet for a long time and Sonny had no idea what the younger man was thinking or would do. He fought to not fidget or shift on his feet and instead, just forced himself to wait. Finally Jason sighed and leaned against the wall. "This doesn't really change anything you've done."

He turned and started up the stairs, leaving Sonny standing there. He paused after a couple of steps and turned slightly. "But it...it does help a little. It's just going to take time, Sonny."

Then he was gone and Sonny was left there, glad that Jason hadn't completely exploded. Maybe there was hope that they'd be able to fix things between them eventually.

Chapter 24

Friday, December 31, 2004

When Jason reached the landing of Elizabeth's floor, he paused a few feet away from her door and took several deep breaths. Before he went back to Elizabeth, he wanted to be calmer than he was now. His immediate annoyance, and even anger, when he first saw Sonny in the hallway was abating. Most of that had to do with the fact that other man hadn't come here to try to see Elizabeth, and that he told Jason he wasn't going to help Sam.

Jason was glad for that. He didn't want to go against Sonny, fighting him to ensure a conviction against Sam. Word would have spread through the underground community and their power in the community would have been compromised. Jason didn't want that for a private matter. He believed the older man wouldn't fix the trial and would try to convince Sam to change her plea. Sonny seemed truly sincere about it.

Jason, however, wasn't going to sit back and be content that Sonny wasn't going to set Sam free. He knew that was no guarantee that she would actually be convicted. A jury could be sympathetic to her and let her off completely. He wouldn't allow that to happen to Elizabeth. She had been through so much hurt and pain that she didn't deserve having her son's kidnapper and murderer go free. He had been weighing doing this ever since he saw Sam the first time at the police station, but now he knew he had to.

As he squared his shoulders and approached the door, Paul straightened. "I hope I didn't do anything wrong, Mr. Morgan."

He paused and faced the guard. "No, Paul, you did fine. You kept him away from Elizabeth and she didn't know he was here. That's your job."

Paul nodded and Jason turned the handle on the door and stepped back into Elizabeth's studio. She had moved from the window seat and was now on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her. She was thumbing through one of his travel books, pausing occasionally on a page, and then continuing on. When he closed the door, she immediately closed the book and dropped it on the couch.

Her eyes were wide, a mixture of fear and curiosity, as she regarded him. "Is...is everything okay?"

Jason sat down beside her and picked up the book on Argentina and nodded. "Yeah. Everything's okay."

She tipped her head to the side and after a moment whispered, "Jason? Please...please don't lie to me...or think you have to protect me."

Her whispered plea sliced at him and he closed his eyes and swallowed. "Sonny stopped by to talk to me."

Immediately her fingers stilled from playing in the folds of the blanket and Jason cursed silently. "So-Sonny? Did...did he need you...to go?"

"No," Jason instantly replied. "And I wouldn't leave right now, not unless no one else could take care of the problem."

She blinked as he said that, clearly looking surprised. "But he wasn't here for that," he told her.

"You...you're sure? Because I know you might have to..."

"Elizabeth," he told her, cautiously reaching out and placing his hand on her shoulder. "You are what's important right now, and I've made that clear to Sonny. I may have to do things sometimes, but not right now. It's quiet right now."

"Oh," she breathed out softly and looked down at her lap. "Is...is everything...what did..."

She trailed off and looked away, blinking quickly. Jason's hand brushed her hair as he pulled his hand back and she shivered slightly, wrapping her arms around herself. "He came by to talk to me about Sam."

Elizabeth's voice was choked as she echoed hoarsely, "Sam?"

"He wants her to enter an insanity plea so she can get help," he told her. He paused, weighing whether to tell her the next part, then said, "He's not going to help her escape or not be convicted."

Elizabeth threw off the blanket and pulled the sleeves of her top down over her hands as she stood and paced away from the couch. He could tell she was nervous and agitated, but he felt that being honest with her was important. She had a right to know and he wasn't going to let her think he was protecting her by hiding the truth from her.

"Elizabeth?"

She paused and turned slightly so he could see her profile. "Are you okay with this?"

"I..." Trailing off she shrugged. "I figured he would...you know."

"Yeah."

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around herself and walked to the window. "An insanity plea. Do...do you think she was insane?"

Jason let out a slow breath. "I don't know. I know she was hurting after Adella's death...but she planned Cameron's kidnapping pretty meticulously. I thought she was in Hawaii until I saw her in the safe house."

Her knees seemed to sag and she lowered herself onto the window seat, picking at the edge of her bandage. Jason rose and walked around the couch, sitting on the arm so he could face her. Her eyes were moist and pain-filled when she looked up at him. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and hold her, try to take this hurt away from her, but he knew he couldn't. All he could do was be there for her to support her.

"A part of me...a part of me believes that she was crazy," Elizabeth said, her voice small. "She lost her child. When I...when I lost my baby, I barely knew I was pregnant. I hadn't heard its heartbeat, or saw it on an ultrasound or felt it kick." She sniffled and wiped futilely at her eyes. "And now that Cameron...is...I can understand where she could have snapped.

"But," she cleared her throat and tightened her arms around her. "She didn't just grab him. She planned, and she...she had to have left him alone before she pretended to leave town. She did all of that... How...how can she say she was crazy?"

He opened his arms and she practically launched herself off the seat. She burrowed into the comfort he was offering the only way he could, and just clung to him. Almost desperately.

"I don't know if she's crazy," she said, her words muffled by his shirt, "but she took my baby away from me and she had no right. She...she had no right."

Jason closed his eyes as they filled with tears at her pain. Elizabeth may not have thought she could decide about Sam, but Jason had based on her words. And he would make the appropriate plans.

Elizabeth stretched and opened her eyes, blinking in the light that was on overhead and the sun coming in the through the window. She was warm, the thick chenille blanket was wrapped around her, but she also realized there was an extra warmth. She was next to Jason, asleep against his chest with his arm around her. She felt her cheeks warm as she shifted and looked up. Jason lowered his book to his lap and looked down at her.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied, her cheeks flushing more. "Um...how long have I been asleep?"

He looked at the clock and shrugged. "A couple of hours, I guess."

"Sorry." She sat up fully. "Why...why didn't you just put me into bed?"

"Elizabeth," he said softly. "I don't mind. You were upset, you cried yourself to sleep." He shrugged again, "It didn't bother me to sit here while you slept."

"Okay," she took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. This was Jason and he didn't say things just because; he meant what he said. This wasn't a moment filled with romantic undertones like it may have been in the past, he was merely comforting her. She had been upset as they talked about Sam and Cameron, and he knew that. "Thank you."

He merely nodded and then asked, "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged her shoulder, "A little better, I guess. A little hungry."

"Let's get you some lunch then," he shifted to stand up.

She grabbed his arm before he was able to leave. "Jason. You...you don't have to fix all my food for me. I can heat up one of the containers that Bobbie brought over."

His smile was gentle and reassuring. "I know. But I'm hungry too, and I don't mind doing this."

"Okay," she signed as she leaned back against the couch in resignation. Even if Jason wasn't really hungry, he would still insist on doing this for her. She knew trying to fight him would simply be futile.

After Jason pulled out containers and put them in the microwave, he turned back towards her and leaned against the table. "I...I have something I need to do this afternoon. It shouldn't take long, but I need to take care of it."

It. Somehow, Elizabeth knew that was all Jason was going to say. It may be something for business, but he'd just told her that morning that business was quiet. Whatever this was, she didn't think she wanted to know about it. She also didn't think Jason was really going to tell her whatever it was. And she couldn't really tell him not to go out and take care of it.

She nodded slowly, "Alright. I...I think I should call my gram. It's been a couple of days and if I don't she'll probably come over here and I...I don't want her to know about my cut."

She looked down so she couldn't see Jason's reaction to that. Still looking down she continued, "I just...she'll fuss and worry and I can't deal with that right now."

"I'm not going to tell you that you should tell her now if you're not ready to handle it."

Of course Jason wouldn't. She peeked a glance up at him and saw no disapproval or judgment. Relieved, she let out a breath. "She'll probably invite me to come over tonight...but I just...I'd rather stay here with you where it'll be quiet."

The microwave beeped and Jason pulled the foot out, putting it on plates. He carried them over to the couch and sat down beside her. "That's fine, Elizabeth. She'll understand. She loves you, and yes, she misses you. But she's really not pushing you, is she?"

She shook her head as she dragged her fork through the chicken and rice. "No."

"Then she'll understand that you don't feel like celebrating; just like I do." He paused and said, "No one's forcing you, or rushing you, so stop putting so much pressure on yourself."

His wife was going to kill him. The courts were closed today because of the holiday, but he had a backlog of paperwork that he knew he had to come down to the courthouse and deal with. He promised his wife he'd be done by noon, figured it would be plenty of time since things would be silent and he could really concentrate, but it was now nearly four o'clock. He had to get out of here soon or he would be late for the party they were hosting, and then she would really kill him.

He'd already sent his clerk home in the hopes that if he was gone and not giving the judge any new work, he'd be able to get out of here soon. As he was signing his name to some papers, he heard a sound in the anteroom and looked up. The courthouse was nearly empty of judges doing the same thing he was, and he wondered who was there. Maybe the cleaning crew was getting an early start so they could enjoy the festivities tonight as well.

Turning, he began to put files away and lock the file cabinet. He'd leave the completed paperwork on the clerk's desk and then he'd make it home before his wife completely blew her top at him. The door behind him opened and he called out, "I'll be done in a moment. You can finish the outer office first."

"Judge Duarte."

He stilled, pushed the file drawer closed and slowly turned. Jason Morgan stood casually just inside the room, but his presence was huge and filled every space of the office. He pushed the lock in on the door crossed to the judge's desk. Bill Duarte swallowed and looked at the mob enforcer, wondering what could bring him here today.

Morgan sat, and the judge waited for him to speak. That's how their relationship worked, and he knew how to play the game. He forced himself not to fidget, or flinch away from the steel-like gaze of the man before him.

"We need to talk," Jason said. "I have an assignment for you."

Chapter 25

Friday, December 31, 2004

Judge Duarte swallowed, and even though he tried not to look nervous, Jason knew he was. While Duarte had worked for the organization before, it had been a while since he'd been contacted. Maybe he thought his association with Jason and Sonny was over, but he should have known that nothing was ever really over. Plus, he'd worked cooperatively, almost eagerly before, because of the amount of money he'd been paid. It was always easier to work with a cooperative person, than a reluctant one.

"How...what did you need, Mr. Morgan?"

"I'm sure you've heard about the case with Samantha McCall."

"She kidnapped a baby...the police were looking for him for weeks."

"Cameron Webber," Jason nodded just once. "Great-grandson of Audrey and Steve Hardy."

"Yes, of course," the judge murmured. "The Hardy-Webber family. Ms. McCall is the former mistress of Mr. Corinthos, correct?"

Jason nodded again. "I want you to make sure you get her case when it goes to trial."

Duarte's eyes widened slightly. "You want me to fix her case and sentence?"

"Probably not the way you're thinking," he said, and could tell the judge wasn't expecting him to say that. "I don't want her going free."

"You...you don't?"

Jason shook his head and leaned forward, his leather jacket creaking in the quiet room as he clasped his gloved hands together. "She kidnapped the child of a friend. She plotted and planned, she was grieving over the death of her daughter."

"Post-partum?" Judge Duarte asked. "Put her in a facility?"

"No country club place," Jason instructed coldly. "I want the harshest facility for the criminally insane there is, and I want her in there for the rest of her life. She neglected this little boy, she got him so sick his heart stopped and he went into a coma. His mother was faced with the choice of letting him live like that for however long he lasted, or taking him off life support and donating his organs."

The judge swallowed thickly. "So you want Ms. McCall to be sentenced to a criminally insane prison?"

When Jason nodded, the other man swallowed again, this time a bit nervously. "What about Mr. Corinthos? What...what does he want?"

"Mr. Corinthos wants her to plead guilty by reason of insanity. He believes she needs help." Sonny may not believe she needed the kind of facility Jason wanted her in, but that wasn't important. To Jason, or the judge. "He isn't going to want her set free."

Judge Duarte nodded solemnly. "I understand. Is she going to plead out?"

"She claims she's not crazy. I don't know if she'll change her initial plea," Jason shrugged. "Even if she does...I still want her put away. Am I clear?"

The judge murmured his understanding and Jason stood. "Good." He took a thin envelope out of his pocket and placed it on the desk. "Same system as before. Numbered accounts that are untraceable if you follow the procedure. It'll just look like you sold some stock. There's a payment now, another one will come when you actually get her case assigned to you, and the bulk will be wired after you sentence her."

Not waiting for the judge to acknowledge it or open the envelope, Jason turned and unlocked the door. He flexed his fingers inside his gloves as he made sure nobody was in the hallway after he passed through the outer office, he slipped out of the rooms and into the stairway across from them. He'd ensured Sam would pay for her crimes and he didn't have any regrets about it. Now it was time to get back to Elizabeth and concentrate on her.

When Jason got back from his mysterious trip, Elizabeth was in the process of trying to re-wrap the bandage around her hand. She looked up, for a moment feeling as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't have. But she shoved it down, knowing she wasn't doing anything wrong and greeted him. "Hey."

He took off his jacket and hung it up. "Hey. What happened with your hand?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I took a shower and even though I wrapped it, the gauze got a little damp. The stitches stayed dry though. But I didn't want to walk around with damp gauze on my hand."

He didn't say anything, didn't scold her, just grabbed a chair and asked. "Do you want some help with the bandage or do you have it?"

She relinquished her hand and the wrap, like he probably expected her to. He slipped the little bit of gauze she'd wound off and looked at her palm. "Did you put the antibiotic cream on already?"

"Yeah," she told him.

He nodded his acceptance, finished his inspection and quickly wrapped her hand. Gently, he pressed the tape into place and then put her hand back in her lap so he could put the supplies away. "Did you talk to your grandmother?"

"Yeah," she sighed as she leaned back on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. "She invited me to come over tonight, but she really wasn't upset when I told her no. I'll probably see her after the stitches come out."

"I'm sure she'll enjoy seeing you," he said as he came over and sat down on the couch with her. "I know you don't want her to push you."

"She's trying," Elizabeth said. "It's hard because she worries and she wants to see me. I just...I don't like all the fussing I feel she does."

"I think all grandmothers fuss," he said with a little smile. "Lila did it, no matter how hard she tried not to. They do it whether we want them to or not."

"Yeah," she gave a small laugh. "I know why she does it, and it's not horrible, and I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I just feel smothered."

Jason put a hand on her shoulder and gave a slight tug. She willing went into his side and let him slide his arm around her. He brought his hand up and lightly brushed her hair away from her face. He didn't say anything, just held her and gave her his comfort and strength the way only he could. She appreciated the quiet way he held her and wouldn't overwhelm her with words.

"Thank you," she said several long minutes later when she felt quieter and calmer. Jason's hand was calmly brushing over her arm and her eyes were closed in peace. "You always help calm me down."

"I'm glad I could help, but I really didn't do anything."

"You always say that, but you always do. I really do appreciate you being here, Jason. Even if I fight you sometimes." She closed her eyes again that had briefly fluttered open, and let out a breath. "Would...would do something for me?"

"I'll do what I can for you," he told her, his hand stilling.

Elizabeth sat up, but didn't pull away from his touch. "Will you come with me?"

"Where?"

"I...I want to go to Cameron's grave." She paused and blinked as tears flooded her eyes. "I haven't...I haven't gone there since we... I just...the year's ending. This was the year he was born, and this was the year he...he died."

She wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I just want to go see him tonight."

Jason's eyes were soft and bit watery as he nodded. "I'll take you. I'll take you anytime you want to go."

Leaning forward, she gave him a quick hug. "Thank you. I...I just need to put my shoes on. I want to get some flowers to take to him."

"Alright," he nodded. "Do you want to take a car, or my bike?"

"Is it still snowing?" she asked.

"A little."

"Tonight...tonight can we take a car?"

"Sure," he nodded.

She bit her lip and looked down. "Do the guards have to come?"

He shook his head. "Not if you don't want them."

"I...I know why you have them here," she told him. "But tonight, at Cameron's grave, I'd...I'd like it to just be us."

"That's fine," he said softly. "I'll just have them get a car."

"I...I have mine," she said. "When I moved..."

"I know. I had it moved where it could be watched. We can take your car, Elizabeth. This is about you tonight, and what you want."

"Thank you," she whispered, her throat feeling tight.

It really wasn't that she minded the guards, and it wasn't that she didn't want to go on Jason's bike in the snow, but she used to drive Cameron in her car. And she wanted to be in that tonight, to be surrounded by those memories when she went to see her son. She didn't give him a proper good-bye when they buried him because she was weak and shaky after her collapse at the church. Tonight was her chance to say what she didn't that day.

Dusk was already falling when Jason stopped the car along the snow-covered road in the cemetery. Elizabeth sat beside him, holding a small bouquet she'd picked out, staring blankly out the window. She was quiet and still, as she had been since they left her studio, but he figured that was to be expected. He slowly turned off the engine and slipped the keys into his pocket.

"Are you ready to get out, or do you need a few minutes?"

Her nod was stiff and she bit her lip, tears already threatening to fall. He climbed out of the car and went around to open her door. Snow was still lightly falling, adding to the quiet already shrouding the place. She took his hand when he reached in for her, and as they started down the path towards the grave, she shifted his fingers in her grip, but didn't release them.

They walked along the path, their feet sinking into the thin layer of snow blanketing the cement, in silence and Jason was watchful for any icy spots. Reaching an older section of the cemetery, they slowed and then stopped in front of Elizabeth's grandfather's grave. One side was open, free of a headstone, probably reserved for Audrey, and on the other side, laid a small marker to Elizabeth's son. They stood before the pair of granite stones, and Elizabeth's hand tightened around his. He squeezed back to give her reassurance, not knowing if it would matter.

With a shuddery sigh, Elizabeth stepped forward, but she didn't release his hand even as she pulled a single flower from the bouquet. He took the remaining blooms from her when she held them out to him, and then stood beside her as she knelt down by her grandfather's grave and placed the single blue flower down. She said a few soft words, told him that she missed him and loved him, and then her voice broke as she asked him to watch over Cameron for her until she joined them some day.

When she turned to Cameron's grave, Jason was sure she would release his hand. She didn't at first, but after placing the flowers he handed back to her by the tiny headstone, she slipped her hand from his and leaned heavily against the granite. Her shoulders slumped and her head bowed, and then her slight frame shook like an autumn leaf in the wind. He stood there, not knowing what to do. He didn't want to walk away and make her feel like he was abandoning her, but he felt he should give her privacy in this moment when she was at her son's final resting place.

Slowly he took a few steps back, not enough to abandon her, but enough to allow her to have this moment, when her watery voice broke the silence. "I miss you, Cameron. I miss you so much."

Jason swallowed and looked away, out over the snowy grounds. He felt like he was intruding, that Elizabeth's time with her son and her grief should be hers along, but he also knew that she had asked him to come with her. She hadn't left him at the car; she'd brought him with her. She'd asked him to share this moment. He wouldn't disappear just because he was feeling a little uncomfortable.

His attention was drawn back to the grave as Elizabeth shifted off her knees and sat down on the snow blanketed ground. She leaned against the headstone and trailed the gloved fingertips of her left hand along the edge. Jason wasn't sure what pulled him back, but he felt like he needed to return to her. Slowly, he came up beside and crouched down beside her, resting one hand lightly on her shoulder.

She looked up at him, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen. "I...I don't want to say good-bye to him, but I know... He's as cold as this stone and it...it kills me."

The cold of the snow immediately beginning to melt into his pants didn't register as he dropped to his knees and took her into his arms. "Saying good-bye doesn't mean you forget, Elizabeth. You'll never forget him and nobody expects you to. It's okay to miss him and it's okay to cry."

"I wish he was here," she sobbed as she leaned her head against him. "I would give everything I have just to have him back."

He smoothed his hand over her hair, his heart breaking once again with her pain. "I know...I know."

"Why, Jason?" she pleaded on a sob. "Why was he taken from me?"

"I don't know, Elizabeth," he whispered helplessly. He wished he knew why, beyond her good heart and her willingness to help someone she saw in pain, that Sam had singled her out.

"Why did this happen?" Her pain was choking the both of them. "Why am I being punished?"

"You're not...you're not being punished," he shook his head, his throat tight and painful.

"Then why does it feel that way?"

Chapter 26

Monday, January 3, 2005

When the soft knock sounded on the door, Elizabeth wiped her hands on her pants and crossed the studio. She unlocked the door and opened it to her grandmother who stood in the hallway, trying not to notice or be bothered by the presence of Paul. "Hi, Gram."

Elizabeth nodded to the guard as her grandmother came inside. The older woman slipped off her coat and hung it up beside the door, then looked around the room before walking over to the couch.

"Do you want anything to drink, Gram? Some tea?" Elizabeth asked, still back by the door.

"Maybe later," she shook her head. "I...I'm fine for now."

Nodding, Elizabeth forced herself to move, and sit down beside her grandmother. Swallowing, she swiped her hair off her forehead and said, "I-I'm glad you came over."

"I was glad to hear from you," the older woman smiled kindly.

"I know I've hidden out in here," Elizabeth looked down. "I wasn't trying to shut you out."

Her grandmother reached out and took Elizabeth's hand, love and compassion coming through the weathered hands clearly. "Darling, I'm not mad. Steven and I were worried about you because we love you, but we understand you felt you needed some time and space to yourself. I'm glad that you had someone with you."

"Even if it was Jason?" Elizabeth asked cautiously as she looked up.

"Yes," her gram said immediately. "I've seen how he's helped you and has been able to reach you in a way nobody else has. I...I'm not going to fight you. Especially when he's called us to put our minds at ease."

Pausing, the older woman pulled Elizabeth's hand closer and inspected it. "Elizabeth darling, what happened to your hand?"

"I cut it," she said softly, fighting against the urge to pull her hand away. "I was painting and my knife slipped. Jason's doctor came over and took care of it."

Swallowing, her grandmother said, "I'm glad. Is it doing better?"

Pulling her hand back and rubbing her thumb lightly over the red scar, Elizabeth nodded. "Yes. The doctor took the stitches out yesterday. I still have to wrap it; I was just letting it breathe right now." She let out a breath and said, "I think I scared Jason."

"Scared him?" the older woman asked.

"He wasn't here when I cut it, and when he came home I was just standing there looking at the blood."

"Why?"

"Because I was numb," Elizabeth confessed. "I didn't feel any pain; sometimes I don't feel anything and it scares me."

Her grandmother moved forward and wrapped her in a warm hug. "It's alright, Darling. I know you've been overwhelmed with Cameron's death, you...you just take all the time you need. Feeling numb is a natural reaction...even if it's a little scary sometimes."

Tears ran down Elizabeth's face as she soaked up the love and comfort her grandmother offered. "Thank you, Gram."

Pulling back, Elizabeth looked down at her hands in her lap and confessed a fear she hadn't even shared with Jason. "Sometimes I think...I think that this is my fault. That Cameron's death is my punishment."

"Punishment?" her grandmother asked in confusion and a fair bit of shock.

"For the choices I've made in my life. Jason, Zander, and Ric...they...I got involved with them even though I knew that they...maybe this is my punishment."

"No," the older woman said forcefully. "No. This is not your fault. Cameron didn't die to punish you; God would not do that to you or anyone else. There is only one person responsible for what happened and that is Samantha McCall. It's not Jason or Sonny's fault for helping her or giving her a place to stay, it's not your fault for befriending her and wanting to help her after her daughter died. The fault lies with her and her alone."

Elizabeth looked at the other woman and her grandmother continued. "I will not let you think for one second that you deserved what happened. No parent ever deserves to see their child suffer or die, no matter how young or old. It's a horrible tragedy what happened to you and Cameron, just like it was a horrible tragedy what happened to Sam's daughter. But that doesn't excuse what she did and she is the person who should feel guilty about what happened to Cameron."

"I miss him so much, Gram," she said, her voice thick with pain and grief.

"Of course you do, sweetheart," her grandmother said through her own tears. "We all miss him. You'll always miss him; I still miss your grandfather. But it won't always hurt this much. It will get better; it's just going to take time. And you can take all the time you need to deal with it, just remember that there are lots of people who are here for you."

Elizabeth nodded and wiped at her tears. "I know. I...Jason's been great to have nearby. He just lets me take my time and doesn't push."

"I'll try not to push you, Elizabeth," her grandmother said.

"Oh, Gram, I wasn't trying to say you..."

The older woman shook her head and smiled kindly. "It's alright, dear. I know. You just need space and time, and you've let Jason in to help you. I won't judge you for that like I did back when we thought Lucky was dead. This is your life and you can make your own choices. I will love you no matter what happens or what you do."

"Thank you," she whispered through a fresh wave of tears as she hugged her grandmother. It was such a relief to know she wasn't going to have to fight her grandmother about Jason's presence. "Thank you, Gram."

"Hello, Audrey."

"Hi, Bobbie," she said tiredly as she neared the counter at Kelly's.

"Audrey, is everything alright?" the redhead asked in concern, the corners of her mouth turning down.

"Yes," the older woman assured her. "I was hoping I'd find you here when the hospital said you weren't on today."

Bobbie immediately closed the ledger she as working on and pushed it aside. "Let me get some hot water for tea and we can talk. Would you like anything to eat?"

Audrey shook her head, but thanked her friend for the offer. Bobbie told her to go ahead and take a seat and the weary woman immediately headed for a table out of the way where they would hopefully have a bit of privacy.

"Tammy made some snicker doodles earlier," Bobbie smiled as she set a tray down on the table. "I warmed some up for us. You looked like you could use a little cheering."

"Thank you, Bobbie," Audrey said gratefully as she dipped her tea bag in the cup of hot water. "I appreciate it."

"What happened?" the younger woman asked. "Did something happen to Elizabeth or Steven?"

"I went over and saw Elizabeth today," she answered as she looked down into her teacup.

"How is she?" her friend asked softly.

Audrey sighed, her hands stilling. "She's still in so much pain. I wish I knew how to help her, but I know it will just take time. She told me about cutting her hand..."

"How is it?" the other nurse asked in concern. "I stopped by the day it happened and Jason said she was resting. He looked so unsure, not knowing how to help her but wanting to do all he could for her."

Audrey looked at her friend, and then down into her steaming tea. She never thought of Jason Morgan as unsure before. In all the years she had known him since his accident, and especially during his relationship with Elizabeth, she had never thought of him as anything but steady and always acting with determination. Apart from him being a criminal and a killer, it was why she didn't want him near her granddaughter. She always felt Jason would overwhelm Elizabeth, order her around and not consider her feelings.

Yet, she had seen how different he'd been while Cameron was missing. He spent time with Elizabeth, reached out to her - and found her - in a way that others had been unable to. He'd searched for her great-grandson, and nobody knew about it until he found Cameron, and even then he didn't seem to want their thanks. And it had surprised her more than she could even say when he cooperated with the police and helped send Samantha McCall, his boss and friend's former mistress, to jail. He supported Elizabeth while Cameron was in the hospital, and then during his death.

Even now, Jason was reaching Elizabeth in a way Audrey couldn't. He'd found her when she moved out of her grandmother's house, and was taking care of her. She never thought about this being hard on him, she always thought of him as being in control and always knowing what to do.

"He's done so much for Elizabeth; I've never thought that this might be hard on him." Audrey shook her head. "It's just not how I think of Jason Morgan."

"I know," Bobbie smiled. "It's sometimes surprising to realize he really is just human. But is her hand alright?"

Audrey nodded, her mind still churning over Jason Morgan's vulnerability. "The doctor took out the stitches yesterday. I guess the cut wasn't too deep."

"That's good," her friend breathed out.

"The thing that troubled me the most was that Elizabeth blames herself for Cameron's death."

"What?" Bobbie demanded in shock as she sat back slightly in her seat.

"She wondered if maybe this was her punishment for her choices, for the men she's been involved with," Audrey frowned as she dipped a snicker doodle into her tea.

"Oh," the younger woman shook her head sadly. "She shouldn't blame herself. God isn't punishing her. The only person to blame is Sam."

"That's what I told her."

Bobbie's face deepened into a thoughtful frown. "For as much as I've been angry at Sonny because of how this thing is hurting and confusing Michael, he's finally done something right."

"What do you mean?" Audrey questioned, her tone hard and tight. She could still remember the anger she felt at the other man's audacity to show up at Cameron's funeral.

"Carly's been so mad at him for turning his back on Jason." The redhead shook her head mirthlessly. "She has never understood, or liked, Jason's friendship with Elizabeth and she figured the only reason he's helping her is to punish Sonny for getting a lawyer for Sam."

Audrey said nothing; she didn't want to tell her friend that her daughter was blind and dumb. Even she could see that Jason's actions towards Elizabeth weren't motivated by revenge on Sonny.

"So she was very happy when she told me that Sonny wasn't going to help Sam." Bobbie looked around the diner and then leaned forward, instinctively Audrey did the same. "You know, with her trial? He wants her to plead. Carly thought that this would get Jason to forgive Sonny, leave Elizabeth and put Carly's life back the way she thought it should be."

Shaking her head, she continued. "I love my daughter, but sometimes she really is just dumb. Jason cares deeply about Elizabeth, and he's not going to abandon her just because Carly would be happier."

Audrey just nodded, not sure what to say really. Thankfully her friend didn't need or want a response. Normally hearing that Jason cared about Elizabeth would have bothered her, but she was finding that right now, with her granddaughter the way she was, it didn't worry her very much. Maybe later...but for right now, Audrey was letting it go.

As Jason crossed the docks after leaving the warehouse, he wondered how Elizabeth would be tonight. He knew her grandmother was going to visit her today; Elizabeth had been nervous about it when he left that morning and he hoped it went well and hadn't upset her. He at least had gotten good news that helped him relax while he was at the warehouse. Judge Duarte had gotten Sam's case on his docket, and he was not of the disposition to drag out the case. If Sam didn't want to deal or change her plea, then he would make sure she had her day in court. Speedily. Sam's case would start in two weeks.

Nearing Elizabeth's building, he slowed as he saw her sitting on the bench on the dock. She was bundled up against the cold and he was glad to see it. At least she wasn't acting oblivious to her surroundings and freezing in an attempt to numb her pain as he'd seen her do before.

"Elizabeth?"

She blinked and pulled her gaze back from the gray water. When she saw him standing there she gave him a slight smile. "Hey, Jason."

He brushed the snow off the bench and sat down beside her. He wanted to ask how she was, but he didn't want her to feel pressured or trapped, so he sat beside her in silence content to let her lead their interaction.

She let out a breath after a few minutes and leaned back against the bench, her gaze once more drifting out over the water. "I forgot how great it can be to breath in the fresh winter air."

"Have you been out here long?"

"No," she shook her head. "I painted for a bit after my gram left, but then I just wanted to get out for some fresh air."

"Are you cold?" he asked.

Elizabeth looked at him, and he wondered if she'd get angry with him for the question, think he was hovering over her. Instead, she merely shook her head with a wisp of a smile. "No. I didn't want you to get all worried about me, so I dressed warmly."

He grinned at her clear teasing, glad to see a little return of life to her. "Good. If you're not cold do you want to go for a ride?"

Her eyes lit up and he stood, knowing he had his answer. For now, it didn't matter how her visit with her grandmother went, or that Sam's trial would be starting soon. All that mattered was the two of them just getting away for a little bit. He needed it after being inside all day, and he figured Elizabeth could really use it as well.

Chapter 27

Saturday, January 8, 2005

"Jason."

He paused and turned, his face neutral as he faced the person who approached him. He was coming back from the park after spending a little time with Sonny, Michael and Morgan at the swings. He'd had to drop off some papers that couldn't wait until Monday at Sonny's this morning and Michael had invited him to join them on the outing. Jason had been reluctant at first, not wanting to leave Elizabeth for too long, but finally agreed to spend a few minutes pushing Michael and his brother on the swings.

He knew Elizabeth was going to spend some time with Emily this morning, and his sister would keep her company so he didn't need to rush back. But in case Elizabeth suddenly withdrew from Emily and wanted to be alone, thus returning to her studio, he didn't want to be away too long. She seemed to be doing better the past couple of days, not wanting to always stay in her studio and he took that as a good sign. They took rides or walks, and Elizabeth even met her grandmother for lunch one day. She'd seen Emily the same day on her way back to the studio, tired and drained, and had agreed to his sister's request that they get together on another day.

Emily had insisted they'd keep it low key, and while Elizabeth believed her, she was still nervous about the outing. So Jason wanted to get back to the studio in case Elizabeth's courage had been too forced and she hadn't been able to maintain a cheerful bravado. Michael had been sad when Jason said he had to go, but after playing for half an hour with him and his brother, Michael had eventually understood. Besides, Jason told the little guy that he really should spend some time with his dad and give him a chance; he didn't want to undermine his friend when he was trying to fix things with the young boy.

Jason sighed as he saw Carly, and wondered if she'd been following Sonny and the boys, or had been lying in wait for him. "Carly," he dipped his head. "Did you need something?"

"Some time with my friend," she smiled at him. "Sonny's got the boys today, so we could spend some time together. Maybe even go to Jake's and play some pool. What do you say?"

"I can't, Carly," he said. "I have to go."

"Jase," she pleaded. "I've seen so little of you. I...I don't want to interfere with business, but can't it wait for just a little bit? Long enough for us to get some lunch?"

"It's not business, Carly." He wasn't going to lie to her, and he also wanted to let her know that he wasn't just going to be available whenever she demanded his time. "I need to go."

"Ah," she nodded, her lips pinched in displeasure as she folded her arms over her chest. "I see. It's Elizabeth," she spit the name out. "You're still panting after her."

"Goodbye, Carly," he shook his head and began to walk away.

"Jason, wait, wait," she called as she ran to catch up with him. She pulled on his arm and he stopped, facing her with little patience in his expression. "I'm sorry. I just...I'm looking out for you."

"Right," he shook his head sadly. "No, you're looking out for only you."

"No," she countered forcefully. "I'm looking out for you. Jason, you're too helpful and kind for your own good sometimes. Elizabeth will only end up hurting you and destroying you. I know you felt you had to help her, and then you had to punish Sonny, but, Jason, you've got to stop."

"Stop what?" he asked, his tone hard.

"Don't throw away your friendship because of a girl. Sonny is too important to you, and he needs you. You know that."

Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked down for a moment, before raising his gaze as he tipped his head to the side. "We nearly lost our friendship when Sonny slept with you. We nearly lost it when he didn't want me dating Courtney. So both of you weren't worth it? Or is it only Elizabeth because you don't like her?"

"Jason-"

He cut her off. "No, Carly. You need to listen to me. Elizabeth is my friend. Sonny is my friend. You are my friend. I can be friends with all of you. I don't have to choose one over the other. Elizabeth is going through a very difficult time, and I'm not gong to abandon her just to make you feel better."

"But Sonny isn't going to fix Sam's trial. He's only paying for a lawyer; he wants her to plead insanity." She looked up at him with big, pleading eyes. "Why can't you see that's he's trying the best he can?"

"That isn't the reason I'm helping Elizabeth," he told her, knowing she still wouldn't understand no matter how many times he explained it to her. Carly would never understand his motivations for helping Elizabeth, she would always see it as pity, or revenge, never genuine. "I know how it feels to lose a child. I know that Elizabeth is in pain, and I'm going to help her. Because she's my friend. Michael may not be dead; the pain I felt when I had to give him up is still there. Even though I know he's happy with Sonny, I still remember what it felt like when I had to give him up to A.J. and I didn't know that I'd ever be able to spend time with the little boy that I called my son."

Carly's eyes were rimmed with tears and she whispered in a strangled voice, "Jason."

"But Elizabeth told me something back then; she said I never knew, I might get to see him sometime. And I do. I just played with him at the park, he calls me Uncle Jason, something A.J. would have never allowed. Elizabeth will never get to see Cameron again."

"I know," she choked out, tears glistening on her cheeks.

"And that is why I will not turn my back on her, for anybody. I'll have lunch with you one day, just not today. But, Carly, I'm not going to fight with you about Elizabeth. You either need to accept that she's a part of my life or we'll have nothing else to discuss. I won't keep doing this."

Then he stepped around her and headed out of the park. Carly would never change, but he wasn't going to put up with her trying to push Elizabeth out of his life. He wasn't staying with her or worried about her because he felt sorry for Elizabeth; he cared about her as his friend. It hurt him that she hurt and he wanted to help her however he could. He was tired of Carly's inability to see that, and he found himself wanting to distance himself from the blonde. And he knew despite not wanting it to, that it was going to cause problems. Because Carly would never take it too well being told no, or being pushed - as she saw it - to the side in his life. He just hoped the damage wasn't too great.

Elizabeth smiled over at Paul as they arrived at her door. The guard had been quiet and unobtrusive during her time with Emily, and neither woman really commented on his presence. They just accepted it. Elizabeth had a guard because Jason was living with her and Sonny Corinthos' ex-mistress was accused of murdering her child. She'd been pulled back into the world, without thought or intention, and even though she and Jason hadn't talked about the guard, she'd accepted it.

Mostly because at this point in her life, she just couldn't get upset or fight about a guard. Paul was nice, he didn't bother her, and he was helpful. Sometimes she still got lost in her thoughts and he unobtrusively guided her on the street. He was, oddly, a comforting presence to have near. So she smiled at him to show her appreciation for him being with her, and also her relief at being home.

Her day with Emily hadn't been horrible; it had just been very draining. They ate lunch at a quiet place, some place they'd never been before so there would be no memories for her to associate with Cameron. And it wasn't really a family-style restaurant so she wouldn't have be confronted with images of children and happy families. But it had been hard at times just being out among crowds as opposed to the safe cocoon of her studio.

While she appreciated Emily's efforts to cheer her up, to draw her out, Elizabeth was so relieved to be home. She didn't know if Jason was back from his meeting, he didn't have a guard that accompanied him to places, or what his plans were for the day if he was back. She hoped he was back, but she told herself she shouldn't count on him being there. He had things he had to do that she knew he'd been putting off so that he could be with her, and she kept telling him he didn't need to do that, but he did. Yet, she also couldn't deny the longing she felt inside her that he would be there when she opened the door.

So when she finally did open the door and saw Jason sitting on the couch reading a book, warm relief flood through her like water cresting a dam. She immediately felt calm and relaxed, settled and soothed by the simple fact that he was there. Her smile was filled with happiness and relief as she looked up from his book as she closed the door. He waited for her to take off her coat and drop her purse before speaking.

"Hey," he said, with a small smile.

She collapsed onto the couch not far from him and immediately turned towards him, tucking her legs underneath her. "Hey," she said in reply, leaning her head against the high back of the sofa.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes showing his concern.

"I'm just tired," she said as her eyes drifted closed. "It was nice to visit with Emily. She was kind and tried to make sure I was alright. It was just a bit awkward, but I know it will get better. It's kind-of like the first time I really went out after my rape, or when we thought Lucky was dead. I know that she cares about me, she just doesn't want to see me get hurt by seeing a baby, so she worked extra hard to shield me from them."

She sighed and ran her hand over her knee as her eyes slowly drifted open to look at Jason. "But I know I'm going to have to get used to it. I can't hide in here forever, and I can't move to a place where there aren't any children just so I never see a baby again. I don't think I can work at the hospital, or maybe even Kelly's, ever again, but eventually I'll find something. Eventually. I'm not pushing it, and I'm just going to put my immediate focus on getting through the trial."

"I'm glad you're not putting pressure on yourself."

She shook her head and made a slight scoff under her breath. "No, I'm just not putting too much pressure on myself. I have to push myself to step outside of my safe bubble I've created here with you; otherwise I'd never want to. I'd hide in here forever. I'm just trying to remember to take it in baby steps."

Jason tentatively reached out and placed his hand on her arm, he never crowded her and didn't often initiate contact between them so she didn't feel uncomfortable. "I'll be here to help you if you need me."

"I do need you, Jason," she told him earnestly and sincerely. "You help me so much, even if you don't think you do. You just being here makes me feel calmer, able to handle things I don't know I'm strong enough to deal with. I get so much strength from you, that I...I don't know what I would without you."

"You won't have to find out," he told her. "You may not believe you're strong, but you are. And you'll realize it, but I won't leave before you do."

For a brief moment she feared what would happen then, but pushed it away. That was the future, far in the future, and she had to concentrate on today. She barely thought about tomorrow, she wasn't going to worry about weeks or months from now. "Thank you, Jason."

He merely nodded at her with a reassuring smile that always soothed her and made her believe in him. Shifting on the couch, he turned to face her a little more. "Is there anything you wanted to do tonight?"

She shook her head. "No. I just want to sit here. Maybe read, maybe sketch, maybe just sleep. I...I just want to be with you tonight."

Settling back on the sofa, Jason looked over at the table beside him. "Do you want to borrow one of my books?"

She shook her head and reached for the blanket on the back of the couch, draping it over her legs.

"Do you want your sketchbook?" he offered.

"No," she shifted, moving slightly closer towards him. Unfolding her legs so she'd be more comfortable, she readjusted the blanket.

Jason looked unsure as she situated herself, leaning closer to him. "Do you want me to read to you?"

"Only if you want," she said. "I'm happy just to sit here, Jason. Emily was constantly in motion and it's nice to just be still for a little bit. Just don't be offended if I fall asleep."

"Would you rather lie down in your bed?" he asked, and she knew it wasn't to get rid of her, it was just to make her more comfortable.

Again, she shook her head. "I just want to be near you, to feel your presence. I know you would be here if I was in bed and I wouldn't be alone, but I just...I don't want to be alone. Even if it's while I'm asleep."

He finally seemed to understand what she was having a hard time saying. She was tired, she wanted to rest, but she wanted to feel close to him, to a body right now, she didn't want to be isolated in her bed. "Okay. Then go ahead and stretch out so you're comfortable, there's plenty of room."

He placed a pillow by his legs and she settled down onto the couch, stretch out her legs and feeling comforted by the warmth she felt radiating from him. Jason picked up his book, shifted to a more comfortable position on the couch, and in a quiet voice began to read to her about Germany and the Black Forest.

Continue On

Head Back to the Main Page